Moving Forward & Friendships- 4 steps to success
Very often we have a desire to make changes in our lives. Many people make the decisions but still don’t see them to fruition. There are four key elements that can greatly influence the ability to progress from desire, to decision and then to action and fruition.
1. Chose your destination. Until you know where you want to go you are not really progressing toward that. Whether your goal is weight loss, professional advancement, personal growth or any of the many things you can want, you will have to set it. There are many ways to move and you can always be on the move, but until you set a goal you are not moving toward a destination. Step it up! Decide what it is that you want so that you go for it. When setting goals it’s best to be specific, because the more specific you are the easier it will be to picture yourself in that destination. “I want to go to Europe” is different from “I’m going to Paris”. With the latter statement you have more to work with so you can plan it better. You can picture yourself Eiffel Tower and imagine what you will need to do to get there. The more specific the goal the more tangible it will feel. Whether it’s a personal weight loss goal or professional career move, the details will help you create the picture in your mind and sometimes putting that picture down in a vision board is helpful.
2. Surround yourself with those who will inspire you. When you are on the move and making changes, you need people around you who will motivate you to keep going when times get rough. You want to surround yourself with people who are on the same path or who have already made it to where you are working to get. Those who are on the same path can motivate you along the way. They can be there to share the experience, celebrate and commiserate with you as needed. Those who have already made it will be a constant reminder of what you are working to achieve. They are also evidence that your goal can be reached, which will in turn motivate you to keep going when the road seems never-ending. Immerse yourself in the vision. Stay exposed to people and environment that remind you of what you are working for and why you want it. The more you are exposed to the benefits you seek the more you will want it.
3. Limit your contact people who are not moving. Imagine that you and your childhood friend are traveling to destinations on different continents. You started together at your home airport. You flew together sitting side-by-side to the next airport. Now you are at the next leg of the trip and your friend’s destination is a short car ride away and yours requires another flight. This is the time for decisions- do you continue with your friend or get on the plane. Although it’s not always that simple, sometimes this is something that needs to be done. At every stage of life, there are people with us for that stage, and we need to accept that not everyone will fit in every stage. It’s not that you don’t care or want them in your life; rather that you may need some distance from certain people in order to achieve specific goals. Many of us still have the “binky” that we’ll always keep, but we don’t carry it with us walking into the boardroom. Instead, it’s safely stowed away, and every so often gets taken out for a trip down memory lane and returned to its safe storage when we’re done. Sometimes we need to do that with friendships. There will be times when the cherished childhood friends don’t see your vision for advancement. If your current circle is not giving you the inspiration and motivation you need to move toward your goals, you should be making room in your circle for people who will. Since you can’t get more hours in your week, the only remaining option is to redistribute how you spend the time that you have- yes that means less time with those who are not helping you move forward so that you can get more times with those who are.
4. Eliminate those who will hold you back. Sometimes when you decide to make life changes, you will find that not everyone in your life is ready to accept that change. This is another crucial decision juncture. When you want o make life changes, you may need to also be willing let go of those who don’t want the same thing for you. If you have a weight loss goal and your friends who don’t want to see you becoming thinner or healthier then them insist on getting together at the pizza, burger or wings spots despite your pleas for different eateries, you may need to stop going to eat with them so often. Some times people in your life can verbalize their disapproval of what you are doing. If you have chosen to further your education to move your career to the next level, you don’t want to be around people who don’t support that. If you are spending time with people consistently tell you that what you are working hard toward is a waste of your time, or that you will not reach your goals, it can be very discouraging. Allowing that negativity in your life can affect your progress. Instead of allowing people to sabotage you, keep them at a distance so that you are not exposed to the negativity. Ideally, you want
If you truly want a difference in your life you can certainly have it. What you need to remember is that change happens when you make it, and making it generally means that you may need to make certain changes in your own environment to make way for the change you desire.
I’m just saying though…Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
