Five (5) Easy Self Esteem Boosters #MHAM
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Identify the Negative message & reframe it
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Identify and show case your strengths
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Surround yourself with positivity
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Set achievable goals and reach them
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Use Affirmation
Also look at
Self esteem boost – Easy as 1-2-3
Boost your Self esteem – Nurture your talents
How to boost a man’s self esteem
#MHAM
Five (5) Stress Management Tips #MHAM
Stress management is necessary for maintaining one’s quality of life, but because “stress” is not always a visible, tangible or calculable item that can be pointed to on an imaging screen or shown on a lab result sheet, it is often over looked. Many people talk about stress but don’t actively engage in stress management. What people often neglect is the fact that failing to effectively manage stress can lead to some of the physical ailments that they will be able to see, measure and test for, such as ulcers and high blood pressure. It is also true that while “stress” is often talked about methods of managing it are not as often addressed as stress is often considered and accepted as “a part of life”. While that may be true, there are some things that can be done to reduce and manage stress, including the following:
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Exercise and Eat Well
Exercising is a great way to release tension. You can exercise to relax before things get out to hand, or if you are already feeling overwhelmed, exercising can help you release some of that pressure and give you an endorphin boost to help you get to the next step. Eating well is just as important as it provides your body with the necessary fuel to get through all that you are putting it through. It is not enough to eat to fill your stomach. Eating is about more than hunger prevention- it is the mechanism through which you support your body. Your car would stay up just fine perched up on four bricks, but I’m sure you prefer to have sitting on four tires when you park it, that way it is ready to go when you set off to your next destination. The same should apply to your body. Feed it right consistently so that it is ready to go handle your next challenge.
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Plan and Time Management
One of the greatest benefits of planning is that it allows you to in some way foresee what is to come. That gives you the opportunity to anticipate roadblocks and hiccups and put resources in place to address them. Planning helps you to manage your time more effectively and provide the opportunity to see and choose how you are investing your time.
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Delegate and Get Help
Make use of the resources available to you. There are others around who can and will take on some of the load and at time may do so even more efficiently. Take the opportunity to enlist them. When you delegate, you remove things from your plate allowing you time to focus on the things that you really do have to do. Having more to do than you have time for is another frequent source of stress. The pressure experience in trying to get it all done and feeling pressed for time can be easily managed by allow others to do their part. Many people feel the need to do it all so that it is done “their way” but you must also remember that your way is not necessarily the only way. There is a great need to make the shift from focusing on your way and to allowing simply a correct way to provide. The goal should be to have things done right, and that means accepting that there may be more than one way (your way) of doing something. Give others the opportunity to do something their way and get it right too.
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Prioritize and Pick Your Battles
Prioritize. Not just the things that you have to do but even more importantly, the things that you give your attention to. Be stingy with your mental space and emotions. Don’t just let anything and anyone in. This is one of the places that people waste most, by giving their time, attention and emotion to things that really do not matter. If a situation does not take away from you or would not possibly bring you a benefit, it may not be necessary for you to engage. The stress brought on by things that would not have affected our lives if we chose not to engage is completely avoidable. In life you will have more than your fair share of unavoidable stress, and it is up to you to keep your stress tank from over-flowing by not allowing the avoidable stresses to linger in.
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Speak Up and Talk To Someone
When a situation directly (or even indirectly but actually) affects your life, it is important to speak up and do so in a timely manner. Not speaking up doe s not make the issue go away. It simply gives it time to simmer inside you.
Managing stress effectively should create an opportunity for you to have more time to dedicate to life affirming activities. It does not matter what it is that you are doing, it simply matters that you are doing something. Engage in activities that remind you of how great life is. Take time to create and savor beautiful moments. It does not matter how much you do in your everyday life if you are not enjoying your life. Managing stress effectively helps you create opportunities to enjoy your life, so make stress management a priority.
#MHAM
Five (5) Things Mental Illness Is Not
Despite its prevalence in our communities, Mental Illness remains hushed and stigmatized. Much of this is due to misconceptions and lack of knowledge. Learn five things that are not not true of mental illness.
Never Make Sacrifices For Your Goal
When you hear someone say you should not make sacrifices for your goal you probably wonder if that person really knows what it takes to reach a goal. We have been conditioned that sacrifices have to be made in order to be able to reach goals and get the things that we want. It is true, sacrifices are a part of life and sometimes we do have to make them, but when it comes to your goals, don’t make sacrifices.
The word sacrifice has long been associated with the giving up of something that is desired. When you make a sacrifice, you give up something that you want and don’t want to give up. When people think of giving up the things they want there is a bit of resistance that comes with that. People don’t want to give up the things they treasure, things they’ve worked hard for or that have been with them through the years. We like our stuff. We like our norm and comforts. When asked to “give up” these, the resistance that ensues makes sense. It takes a bit more thinking about and negotiating. Most people would want try to find an alternative that allows them get what they want without giving up anything- and valuable resources are invested in that pursuit.
The truth of it is that you are making way for something that you want even more. Remember the last time you were excited about a new gadget or something like that? We see it all the time. People line up for hours or even days to get their hands on newer and better. Many times, it is not so much because the older model was bad, just that the newer model was more desirable to them. That is the same thought that should be applied when working toward your goal. Your goal is like that new shinny gadget you’re looking to upgrade to. Your present is last year’s model. It may still work, but because you want more, you upgrade.
When you make a sacrifice, that sense of loss can stand in the way of moving forward. Whether it is in time spent morning what was given up or too often the self sabotage that can result from the guilt over that decision, sacrificing is just not the best feeling in the world. Upgrades on the other hand are exciting. People look forward to them. There is no feeling of loss associated with upgrades because the focus is on what has been gained. You are trading in parts of your past for the future you desire. There may be fond memories associated with that pass and you will take them with you. You will continue to treasure them and smile big when they cross your mind. That’s the great thing about memories you don’t have to keep the past to be able to enjoy the great moments they brought.
It’s time to give up this notion of giving up. Of sacrificing. You’re not giving up something you cherish. You are gaining something you desire. You are upgrading. You are going after something that you find more desirable. Something that you want. Even more than what you will be trading in to get that one thing. Call it what it is- It’s an upgrade: An exchange of something you have for something you desire. In the pursuit of your goal that is the only acceptable move- You upgrade. Don’t make sacrifices. You should not have to give up the things that you want. Gladly trade them in foe the things you want. As nice as it may have been to trade-in you old car or gadget to upgrade to something nicer, making a trade toward upgrading your future is even better. Make the change. Give up sacrificing and take on upgrading.
I’m just saying though
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
Investing Vs. Playing Funder
As you seek to grow whether personally or professionally, there will be continuous “opportunities” presented that are supposed to help you. The issue there will be identifying which ones are right for you. When I first started my practice I joined a local Chamber of Commerce and attended a number of networking events only to discover it was certainly nothing like what I expected. Eventually I assessed that I was investing resources as was conventionally expected as opposed to what was appropriate for my needs. There were a few things that I did not consider, including:
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What are my expectations of this investment? When I joined the chamber I expected to meet other business owners, but I didn’t consider whom and how I wanted that would to impact my practice. Had I done a thorough assessment, I would have noticed that the benefits that the chamber had to offer would not yield the results that I needed at the time, which was increasing clientele.
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What do the benefits being offered mean to you? When these opportunities are being presented, the seller’s main goal is to get you to buy. Whether or not you will get results is not necessarily. They need to convince you that their product is THE resource that you have been lacking and that when you get it everything will change.
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Be wary of the name dropping. One of the most amusing parts of the sales pitch to me is the naming of who have used the service or are members of the organization being pitched. The question you should be asking yourself at that point is “How will that impact you?” Even if Oprah is a member of a group, that’s not enough reason to invest in that organization unless you had a prior need to meet her. And even if so, you’ll have to also assess the likelihood that becoming a member too means you are likely to meet.
Investments of every kind should be made with a purpose. Whether you are looking at your time, money or other resource, you have to make sure that you are going to get the results that you seek. Once you’ve invested there is usually no undo button so know what you are getting ahead of time. If the seller is not able to tell you what they are offering specific to you then you should also be thinking that through. You and your ventures are not going to be the same as everyone else- for example, someone who sells tangible will not get same results that one who is providing a service. That is why service providers need to be especially careful with the investments they are making.
If you can’t get your investment to make sense for your needs then you are simply playing funder to the seller’s goals. If that is your goal then that is fine. Sometimes you do chose to help another person out and expect nothing in return. You just need to be able to clearly understand the difference and make the choice of which one you are looking to accomplish. A deployment of resources is only an investment if after you put in your resources you can get results you seek. Yes there are bad investments where something goes wrong and things don’t go as planned. But that should be the anomaly. If you are putting in your valuable resources the expectation should that things will work the way you want. When the likelihood is that they might work out if you get luck that’s not an investment that is playing investor to someone else’s goal. Because they will get their results and you are left with the hoping and wishing.
After writing this I was posting it and got an invitation to apply for a free network. Cool right? So I applied and got an email that that and a Membership Coordinator would be contacting me- That sounded less free. When I spoke with the Membership Coordinator it was indeed… anything but free- Pretty close to $1000 not free. Still there were names of people who have been members but no way to know how this would help me. Just that it would be very helpful.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Three (3) Steps for Fighting Autumn Gloom
At this point summer seems more like a distant memory as we fall into autumn. I love New England Autumns. Leaves changing color then falling and a gazillion and a half activities to get into. In South Florida it’s a lot different. Rain, rain, rain and then more rain. That’s what we’ve had these recent weeks. When the sun doesn’t seem to shine as long and the days a dark and dreary, it can get difficult to get up and be motivated to stay on target. Here are a few tools that can help.
Start your day powerfully. Make everything that you do in the morning have a purpose that contributes to what you want to achieve. Whether you are following steps on a routine job, are in a position that requires you to be self-directed, or worse –> you are self employed, your every step in the morning need to matter. From the music that you wake up to, to the breakfast that you eat. This is a great time to get some of the fresh fruits and veggies that are still out and freeze them so that deep into the winter you can still have these bright colorful meals. And the music needs to be upbeat- the more of the words you know the better. Sing along no matter how bad you think your voice is. Set your music to start your chosen playlist at your rising time, and set the volume loud enough to invigorate and so you can hear in your room, bathroom, and kitchen(without disrupting neighbors). This may mean that you have to take it with you as you change rooms. I love my carnival, and some good African music when I need wake, but there are also some great gospel praise songs that do the job. As long as you’re dancing a little by the time you’re done getting ready.
Dress the part. When the days seem gloomy, the tendency is to throw something on and go. If you look at fall colors, they are the darker colors. They may be wholesome and go with the season, but they don’t inspire. So your first step is to add a splash of color. Whether it’s shoes, shirt, tie, belt, something you wear needs to have nice bright colors. Dress in power attire. We all know about the power suits that are worn to interviews or when going in to land a big time client. That power suit makes you feel and act different. Stronger, more powerful, more confident, ready to scale any mountain. Not everyday is a suit day, so instead of wearing a power suit everyday for a month, you can wear articles of clothing that together give the same results. The important thing is that you dress like you have an important job that you need to complete. Even if you are working from home, get dressed and walk to your desk like you were going to the office and there’s a chance organizational leaders will be in the building. When you look like you have an important job to do, your mind will work it out with your body and they’ll work together to keep you in work mode.
Keep a tight schedule- No idle hands. Nothing makes you more tire than doing nothing. Whether your day is overwhelmingly packed or you are just not in the mood for work, when you are not actively engaged in work, you have time to think and realize how much you don’t feel like working. The solution is to have a plan. If you have an outline of tasks and the schedule for completing them you can move in a more regimented fashion. When you are busy and more importantly productive, you don’t have time to worry about gloomy days as you are more focused on getting things done. Schedule breaks so that you can relax and refuel, and do something with your break time. Whether you go out and chit chat or go for get some gloomy fresh air, step out of work mode, with a scheduled time to return. Set your alarm to remind you when break is over. Avoid idle times. Eliminate the gaps where you have nothing to do or are trying to figure out where to go next, because those are the moments that can suck you back into non-productive mode. If you find a gap that was not scheduled, use it productively, respond to emails, voice messages or even begin your to create your agenda for the next day.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
A 9/12 Challenge to America
Yesterday was September 11, 2011. One can hardly believe that it has been ten years since that dreadful day which started out so beautifully. Yes I remember that day; what I thought; how I felt; who I was with. Every little detail continues to stay with me.
I also remember the days after. The country came together. We were all part of one American family. Remember that commercial? “I’m an American!” What did that really mean? Ten Years ago we, as nation were brought to our knees. Whether to seek cover, wail in agony or pray, we came to our knees. Today as people wave signs and banners saying “We Remember” or “We Will Never Forget” it is obvious how much has been forgotten. The feeling of togetherness that Americans once shared is a distant memory. That neighborly feeling has gone away leaving in its place distrust and cattiness. Ten years of a “War on Terror” and Terror is winning. Terrorism breeds fear, hatred and distrust, the kind which we are surrounded by. Instead of working together for common success the focus is placed on working against an opponent. As both parties work to destroy the other the victor is actually an outside third party whose goal was to see the country brought down by the hands of its own citizens. What has happened in Vermont in the past few weeks is a prime example. The supposed leaders of a nation battle each other, pitting the people against sides all the while the people were left to suffer.
On this September day the challenge to all of us as nation is to be the America that we were on September 12, 2001. Be the America where we cared about our neighbors. When our leaders fail to set the example of caring let us be the ones who show them how it’s done. For a brief moment in 2001 we had defeated terrorism by uniting as a nation and not allowing the enemy to divide us as they wanted to. When we woke up on September 12, 2001 there was no racial or class separations. We were Americans. Today there’s not enough glue in the country to put all the subsections back together. We don’t need another 9/11 to remind us that we have enough enemies outside our borders and don’t need anymore amongst ourselves.
Instead of spending thousands erecting memorials honoring some of those who perished on that sad day, let us invest in caring for all the families that were left behind. Memorial ceremonies bring an opportunity for people to come honor those who did not make it. You’ll be hard pressed to find someone who’s dying wish was to have memorial ceremonies in their honor, most people who had time for a final wish wished for their loved ones to be taken care of. If we are to truly honor those who perished on 9/11, we need to start by honoring each other, the ones they left behind. It’s not about waving FDNY/NYPD banners. It’s taking the time to acknowledge local firefighter and police officers in our communities. They did not die on 9/11 they are still here serving our communities. The next time you or your neighbors are running out of a building, they are the ones who will be rushing in.
Remember to take care of each other today and every day. We must always remember that we are in this together. When we were attacked on 9/11 the enemy did care the color of the skin of their victims. They did not consider the bank account balances of those who would be hurt. There was only one factor that mattered- The likeliness that the targets carry a blue passport or were blue passport simpaticos. As they plan future assaults, that blue passport is all they will see. Our strongest weapon against any assault they can mount is community. Togetherness that will allow us to identify what is out of place. Togetherness that prevents them from openly hiding among us. And if they strike, togetherness that helps us rebuild.
If we truly want peace we must bring it.
Let There Be Peace On Earth And Let It Begin With ME
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Presentation Is Key- Poor Delivery Gets A Good Message Missed
This morning a friend stopped by to pick up something he needed for a meeting with a client. When I opened the door I missed everything but the SUPER wrinkled shirt he was wearing. At that moment I forgot my manners. No hello. No how are you. I jumped straight to Where are you going looking like that?
I was coming from a place of caring. As the owner of a small business who also works with other small business owners I know and preach the value of presentation. Representing one’s company and one’s brand well are very near in dear for me. At first I thought his presentation in wrinkled T-shirt and sagging jeans was unacceptable meeting attire. Now I realize that my delivery of that message was even worse. I needed to go back and read the Black Enterprise Magazine piece on how to deliver or accept feedback or 4 Ways to Give and Take Criticism and get some of my own recommendations.
It does not matter how well intentioned your advice may be, especially when unsolicited, if not properly delivered the benefits may be lost in transit. Between my ranting and raving about how I can’t believe he would go like this and blah blah blah I’m sure he heard, part of the message did make it through and he changed to a less wrinkled shirt. Had I taken a calmer approach, the complete message could have been heard- enough for him to iron the less wrinkled shirt.
These are the steps that I should have followed- Hopefully WE will remember them
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Avoid going with your first reaction– Whether it’s shock as it was for me or anger, which it can often be, this does not place you in the best position to help someone else. If you are having a moment- deal with that first so you don’t subject others to the backlash.
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Identify your purpose– Before you speak up and share your advice, think of why. Is it because this is your preference or something that will benefit the other person. If it is indeed just your preference you may want to reconsider speaking up unless you are actually affected.
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Determine your goal and how you want it to be received– When you do speak up, what exactly do you want the person to hear? And what do you want them to do with that information? This morning, my goal was that my friend realized hears the importance of representing his business well and professionally at every step. And I wanted him to start applying that by ironing his shirt.
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Select a delivery method that will effectively communicate your message– How do you need to say what you have to say so that the other person not only listens but also hears you? That was where I really dropped the ball. I just started speaking without a plan and my message was missed. At best, I communicated- You can’t go to this meeting with that shirt as is. My true message was- You need to present yourself and your business in a manner that represents a solid and professional organization. Since I failed to communicate that message, even though he changed the shirt today, the message has not stuck enough that he would not wear an equally unacceptable outfit to a meeting next week.
While I focused on my poorly delivered message we must not overlook the message that he was delivering. As a business owner, you are a walking logo. Every where you go you are representing your organization and as a result don not have the luxury of EVER letting your guards down all the way.
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You represent your company. You are the first image that most people have of your organization. Before they got your business card or saw your website, most people saw you first. You want to display the confidence they need to have in knowing that they are hiring a professional company and not some dude from up the street who may or may not deliver. Look like they should take you seriously enough to visit your website.
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Existing clients are also prospective clients. Having closed a deal with a new client only means that you’ve got that one contract. Instead of relaxing you need to be stepping your game up. Once they have agreed to do business with you, you now have the burden of proving them right. If you showed up in a suit for the first meeting and return haphazardly dressed to drop off the contract, then they may start to wonder if they made the right decision. Everything after that is judged based on that. The out-of-place P that you typed as you attempted “Ctrl P” to print the document becomes a sign of your inattention to details as opposed to an honest mistake.
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You represent your clients. Once a company is doing business with you, you also become a representation of them. If you happen to be in their office when a client shows up, they need to be able to introduce you without hesitation. When people are looking to work with an organization, the people and companies that the organization works with or subcontracts to can and frequently do play a role in their decision. While you would never want to cost one of your clients a potential client, your clients are even more adamant about that.
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Your presentation says what you think. For many people, the way you present says what you are thinking. The applicant who does not take the time to press his suit is not serious about the position- this assumption can be made no matter how desperately he wants or needs the job. By the same token, clients can be judging how seriously you take them based on how you present in your meetings with them. Even if the clients is BooBoo from around the corner who no one knows what’s in his cup, you look presentable as a sign of respect to your client. The levels may vary, but the philosophy is etched in stone.
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You are always prospecting. I always say that once you step out of your home, you are at risk of meeting a potential client. That is doubly so when meeting with clients. When you go into a client’s office or even when meeting them at locations in the community. There is always the potential of being introduced to a colleague, their previous or next appointments, or a number of others who could be interested in your services, if you make the right impression.
If you don’t look the part, people will be too busy contemplating that to hear the eloquent presentation you make or read your thoroughly prepared proposal. At the interview, dress for the job you want to get. Once you have the job, start dressing for the promotion you are eyeing. This statement does not just apply to employees. Business owners need to also be mindful of it.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
http://DrJudiC.com
PULL Must Follow Every PUSH to Reach Your Goal
This morning I read this retweet “PUSH- Pray Until Something Happens”. I have nothing against prayer but I do have something against the way that statement is too often interpreted. Whether you are praying to or any other higher power you believe in, that can’t be only thing you.
Too often we don’t take enough initiative after we pray or mediate. Ask and you shall receive does not mean that everything that is requested will be brought to your front door at the desired time. More often than not these requests are granted in the form of opportunities that can be used to attain the desired result.
The power to perform is always within you. The higher power you pray to will provide you with tools but the action is really up to you. It’s funny how much thought and effort we put into some of the most basic things in our lives, but when it comes to the things that matter many some people tend to back off. When you order that beautiful bedroom set from IKEA they don’t deliver a bedroom- They give you a box of pieces. Before delivering that box of pieces, IKEA made sure to carve out all the necessary detail, provided you the instructions and the tools to make the change from pieces to furniture. Still at the end of the day all they gave you was a bunch of pieces. The onus is on you to turn those pieces into that picture that made you whip out your credit card. Everyone seems to get that and work accordingly. Whether you do it yourself, pay for installation or call a few friends you get it done. No one bad mouths the company for not delivering a 10 piece bedroom set to them.
That same method is what we should be doing with other parts of life. You don’t just pray and wait. Action must always be a part of the plan if anything is to be achieved. When you want that career, that education or any other goal, yes you can pray on it. But as you pray you must act. If you pray for a healthier body and the next day a friend invites you to the gym that is the answer to your prayer even if the gym is out of the way. That seemingly inconvenient gym may be an opportunity to start off with a nice walk or bike ride. When the supervisor comes up and tells you about an educational opportunity, that may be the answer to your prayer for career advancement; but if you are too busy looking at why you can’t do that with this job, you’ll miss the opportunity to get the next job.
It’s time for us to stop putting everything into PUSH and make more of an investment in PULL- Pick Up & Live Life (PULL). With prayer comes opportunity and it’s up to us to PULL them in. As individuals, it is our responsibility to pick up the pieces and live the lives we want. If prayer is going to work, action has to be its power source. The power to act- the power to create change- the power to succeed- have always been within us and remain dormant until activated through our choices.
If IKEA takes the care to not give you a task greater than your skills can complete, do you really believe that the higher power you pray to would not at minimum do that for you too? Remember a PUSH works best when paired with a PULL.
<span style=”font-family: ‘Calligraph421 BT’; font-size: 14pt;”><span style=”font-family: ‘Calligraph421 BT’; font-size: 14pt;”> </span><span style=”font-family: ‘Calligraph421 BT’; font-size: 14pt;”> I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
<a href=”http://www.drjudic.com/”>www.DrJudiC.com</a></span>
Don’t Let Success Eclipse The Objective- 5 Tips for Maintaining Success
For most of my life I have been known as the sleepless one. My insomnia would have me up at that oddest of hours, where I’m wide awake with nothing to do. About 8 years ago I found some tools that helped. The biggest component was creating a space that was for sleeping where when I entered the room my body and mind knew it was time to relax. This required a major change since I had bee doing homework and watching TV in my room since middle school.
I moved out of my apartment where I had a desk in my room and found a place that offered a designated workspace. Since 2003 my home has always had a designated workspace which has now grown into and actual home office. My room has always been set up to provide the necessary relaxing environment and the system was working fine. As long as I went to bed at what was my bed-time, I could fall asleep and get the rest needed for a productive next day.
Seven years later this was such the norm that I forgot all about the reason for it. During the recent cold days I would go to my room with my computer. I found myself going there to do my paperwork, research and writing. As I was working in the warm and cozy environment my mind and body were readjusting to the new program. Before too long I was still up at 3 or 4 AM with my mind in full productivity mode as I toss and turn. I was getting great ideas of thing I want to do, how to fix and issue, marketing strategies, but the only thing I wanted was sleep. Blissfully unaware of the world sleep.
What actually happened was having such great success that I was taking it for granted. I lost sight of the goal and in turn started to slip back into old patterns. I lost sight of the goal I started with, which is an error many people make. When starting out in a new school or new positions we often run into this. New business owner do this much too often. When working toward the goal, it’s easy to stay focused on t as a target to be reached, but success is not a one shot deal. Once you reach it the level of success you once sought you still have to continue to work on maintaining it. Non one wants to have a successful business this year and just drop it all next year. Once you set a goal you want to arrive at that point and stay there or move forward. If you forget what you are trying to accomplish or why, you are less likely to keep working for it.
This is not to say that you should not enjoy success, rather that you should be mindful of how you got there, so that you will not what you need to do to stay there. When you enjoy the benefits of your success you are more likely to want to work to maintain it. You just have to be cautious not to take it for granted and become so complacent that you are so busy enjoying that you forget to maintain.
When it’s time to maintain the success you have earned, keep these in mind:
- When you reach a goal set a new one- Whether you are working toward maintenance or advancement a goal keeps you working toward something.
- Always set and implement Action Plan for every goal- A goal without an action plan that is being implemented is just wishful thinking which does not yield results.
- Keep yourself surrounded with others in that stage- When you reach you the success that you’ve worked for stay close to others who are there keeps you doing the things you stay there. After working so hard to succeed, you need to be around people who can show you how to keep succeeding and staying away from those behaviors that prevented you from getting there before.
- Elevate others- Knowledge is one thing that you can get more of by sharing it. By helping others learn to climb the ropes you climbed you are keeping your skills while doing good for others and making a change in the world.
- Seek ways to improve your processes- The world is evolving and if you are not keeping up you are likely to get passed up. Staying away of new research, methods and products always you to grow with clientele and their needs.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Life & Success Lessons From The Golf Course 2: It’s About The Process
Since the first time I ever swung a golf club the ball was going so straight and so far, my assumption that I had all this natural talent was almost inevitable ;). Of-course, the next times I went out I was expecting similar results, but then discovered that my “natural talent” needed much honing. On one of my best strokes, the ball moved an inch but that club went about 50 yards. What was happening was that I was so focused on getting the ball to go straight and far, I forgot to attend to the steps in the process that will get me that result.
Many people do the same thing with their goals. They focus so much on their desired result that the process is overlooked. Sometimes that desired result is not necessarily the goal, but a result of a successful goal completion. For example while I was thinking of where I wanted the ball to go, the goal was actually to make contact with the ball in a way that makes it go far and straight. There was a process involving my stance, my grip, back and forward swings and more. If you focus so much on succeeding that you attend to the steps to achieving that, then you are almost defeating the purpose of the action, but that’s not the only danger.
My out of whack golf swing was not only failing to get me the desired results, it was also introducing an element of frustration which was most discouraging. That’s one of the main reasons that many people don’t achieve their goals: when they start off and don’t find themselves getting the desired result they start to lose motivation and become so discouraged that they forgo the pursuit.
If I said that the goal of an entrepreneur was not to make money most people would think that I’m out of my mind, but I mean that. The goal of anyone starting out in a business or even a new career, is not to make money; it’s to build a strong foundation, an organization which will continuously generate income. When I started out in my career, I wanted to develop the reputation of being the type of employee that organizations wanted and would be willing to promote- That in turn gave me more money. When I started out in business it was the same- build the reputations that made clients want to work with me. As a result of the organization I built and the reputation I have earned, individuals and organizations want to work with me and when the contracts come the money follows.
As a golfer (yes, I just called myself a golfer already) I had to get myself to thinking that “it’s not about the ball. It’s about the process.” If you ever see my lips moving before a stroke that’s likely what I’m saying to myself. I took a couple of lessons and the pro was surprised to hear that my eyes are closed during my swing. When I keep my eyes open I start to make it more about the ball and less about the process, resulting in some amusing/frustrating moments. If I take the time to set up my shot and am confident in the preparation I don’t have to see the ball to know I’m going to hit it. If I’m true to my process, my head will still stay down even if I’m not looking.
In business it’s the same way. It’s not about the money; rather process that leads to having money coming in. If you just focus on making money and don’t invest in delivering a product or service, you may get lucky and make a bit of money, just like I could accidentally get a good swing, but that does not guarantee recurrence. Unless your lucky day in business generates billions so you never need to make another dime, you need a plan that allows recurring luck.
When you focus on the product or service that will bring value to your client and an organizational structure that will allow you to continue to provide this value, then your luck shall runneth over. You will not need to focus on the money because the system you have in place will be making the money for you. I always say that preparation is the best luck in the world and an unlimited supply is always available for us to take as much as we want.
Don’t take this to mean that I am advising against setting financial goals. I believe that those are quite valuable. A financial goal is still important because when you know how much money you want to make you, get a better idea of how much work you have to do to make your system generate the level of income desired.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
The 4-Sentence Email To Replace Meetings
While some companies opt to have a meeting for every announcement, there are ways to communicate the message effectively and not completely disrupt the productivity of an entire staff to give them information they are likely not even paying attention to. An email is one way of making this happen that could eliminate constant meetings.
Quite often organizations call meetings to announce news and changes. The truth is, the people who listen for 20 minutes of the hour-long meeting will take the time to read a quick email. Those who don’t bother reading the email more than likely don’t care enough to listen at the meeting either. New processes and procedures announced in meetings often require and get individually addressed in one on ones or supervision, so that would not change in email announcements.
When announcing changes there are 4 things that matter to the people who will have to implement these changes
- What
- How
- Why
- Where
People want to know what is being asked of them. They want to know how to do what is being asked. Most importantly, they want to know why they are being asked to do something. Once they have this information they need to know where to turn if they need assistance with implementation. All of that can fit nicely in a 4-sentence short email.
Good Morning Team LTD…
At the last directors workshops we discovered a new clients intake system that has been very effective for one of our departments and are looking to have it implemented companywide.
All new intakes will be prescreened by the department coordinator and you will receive a copy of the screening form for al new clients you are assigned.
This new method will help reduce the number of intakes completed on clients who doe not qualify for our services, which will save you and the company some time and money.
A copy of the new screening for is attached, but do please speak with your direct supervisor or the client coordinator in your department if you have any concerns or questions.
Have a great day!
Judi
An email like this takes a few minutes to write and even less time to read and your staff can spend their time producing the value your clients seek, which of-course brings your company more money.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Life & Success Lessons From The Golf Course 1
I recently decided to really take up golf. I had many reasons for doing this. One of them being that I was hitting so well the first time I went out- It looked like I had natural talent. I have been talking about this for a couple of years. Bragging about how straight I can hit the ball, and discussing how golfing would be beneficial, but no consistent action. This is where our first Lesson From Golf is found.
Action is key!
While I have been talking about wanting to golf and reasons to golf I made no real effort to fulfill this desire. That is what many aspiring entrepreneurs and others wishing for success in a desired area are doing. Talking about the shoulda coulda wouldas does only one thing- Remind you of what you are not doing. Don’t just talk about it, be about it. If it’s something you truly want, there comes a time when you must begin to act, but that is not to say that you take uncalculated actions.
One of my first actions toward actually golfing was to attend clinics. That exposed me to the sport, but I did not have to commit. I could pay $15 or $35 for a clinic, have fun that day and not do anything else for a few months. How many would-be business owners do we know who talk about starting a business “some day” doing something, but for now they just use that talent for a gig on the side when a friend asks them to? They are doing just what I did- Attending the occasional clinic and reminding themselves how things could be “some day”.
Eventually it was time for me to take some real action, so I began my research. What do I need to do if I want to actually learn and play golf? What dos this really mean? This is no different when it comes to living out these long deferred dreams. You could easily just jump in and hope something works out; however, taking the time to research and develop and a plan of action increases your chance of success. By putting the time and effort into preparation, you move from “hoping” for success and closer to “creating” that success.
When you jump in without preparation you tend to try anything and everything that you come across, which leads to doing a lot of work and not necessarily making progress. When you take the time to prepare, you know what you need to do to reach your desired results, so you waste less time trying every thing else and have more time to focus on achieving the goal.
Lip service fuels envy. Carefully planned and calculated action is what fuels exceptional success.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
3 Steps To Help Income Catch Up To Expenses
Everywhere we turn these days someone is talking about the recession. While the economy has affected many business large and small, not every business’ slow down is a result of the external economy. There are several factors that may be affecting an organization’s financial picture, and many of them involve their most powerful resource- Human.
The state of the current economy has allowed for certain things to happen and get blamed on the economy, but there are a few things that should be considered first.
Sales attitude. You have to be able to visualize and believe that the sale can be made and that the contract can be secured. Too many people are going in with a defeatist attitude that may be overt or subconscious. If you believe that because of the economy people will be less likely to buy, then you are allowing yourself some room to not attain your goals by leaving it open that it’s not out of your control. Another down side of this problem is that if you don’t believe the potential client’s decision was result of your presentation then you don’t have as great a need to adjust and improve how you are presenting.
What you can do:
- Know and understand the value you are pitching. In a recession people may not buy as many things, but they are more welcoming to value
- Keep track of the feedback and responses that are coming at the end of presentations/meetings and make necessary adjustments
- If you are the leader of a sales team, take a few meetings with them- This will give you an idea of how your product or service is being presented
Staff behaviors. When business is booming everyone should be working at maximum capacity to meet client needs. When things get slower everyone should still be working just as diligently to get things booming again. This often means that there may be some additional duties for members of the team. You have to establish the importance of this to your team and make sure they understand why that is important to the organization as well as their job security.
Productivity over convenience. There are times when the work load may be more than the staff can handle. As the leader of an organization you need to be able to notice the difference between those times and when you are operating based on habits. When the workload is more than you have staff to handle an option is to use outside companies. You may be sourcing out your printing, copying or packaging during peak times, but when business slows, paying an outsider to do work that can be done by staff already on your payroll may no longer make sense. As a rule, you should only outsource things that cannot be done in-house for less. Calculating this also includes personnel costs.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
Five Simple Tips to Improve Productivity
Have a plan. If you take the time to plan out what you need to accomplish during the day then you eliminate the time that will be spent figuring out what to do next when a task is completed. When you have your tasks outlined you can move about and skip around when necessary to improve productivity instead of sticking with a task when you are not producing results. Having a visual of the day ahead makes it more manageable. You don’t spend time worrying about what you need to get done and you gain motivation from seeing things crossed off your to-do list. A plan also helps when people stop by, because having a visual of what you have to accomplish also gives you an idea of how much time you can spare in chit chat or when during the day you may have time for the conversation you visitor wants to have.
Take Breaks. Being too focused is not always the most productive state to be in. Sometimes you need breaks to refresh and regroup. It’s helpful to plan a five minute break between meetings and tasks that way you have a little time for yourself- whether it is to run to the restroom or grab a glass of water that short break can be useful to help you make the transition from one task to the next. This is also a great time for catching up with others and maintaining your relationships around the office. A quick chat here a little joke there goes a long way.
We generally have more energy and enthusiasm at the start of the day or a project. Major breakthroughs and accomplishments can produce a similar level of energy and excitement, but not every task has such. By taking breaks, you allow yourself the opportunity to have a fresh start each time you return from a break newly energized.
Get Help. We all have our specialties as well as our weaker points. It’s important to know and use these to our benefits. Sometimes it’s best to delegate a task to someone else whose skills are better suited for it then our own. Spending 2 hours doing something that another member of your team can complete in 30 minutes is not an efficient way to use your time. If you have difficulty delegating, it’s always a good time learn. One slow way to start this process may be as simple as asking the other person to help you, that way the work is getting done in a timely manner and you are there to learn from them in order to improve your own skills. But you have to remember that to be both an effective and efficient leader, you have to be able to trust your team enough to delegate as needed. There will be times when you need someone to teach you a better way of doing thins, other times you may just need a few more hands or eyes to help you move faster, but sometimes you just need to let someone else take the reigns and know that there is a more productive use for your time and expertise.
Redefine “Open Door Policy”. In an effort to be accessible man people often lose the true meaning of an “open door policy” and allow that to impact their productivity. Each time someone comes to your office and stops you from doing what you were working on, they are interrupting the flow of your productivity. The same applies to answering the phone and responding to emails. During the times that you have set aside to complete specific tasks, you should treat them as you would appointments. Just as you do not stop a meeting because someone walked in you may need to apply that method to certain task-dedicated times. If someone walks in you can ask them to return in an hour when you will be done, or let a call go to voicemail and return the call after you complete a task. The constant email dings are one of the biggest detriments to productivity, because we feel the need to drop everything and attend to that that chime or vibration every time we hear it. An “open door policy” means that you are accessible and welcome members of your team to come to you with issues and concern. You can still maintain this open door if you set certain limits that allow you to use your time efficiently. Not everything is a crisis, but if you allow everything to be treated as such, you may find yourself in constant crisis mode with your deadlines or working later then you planned.
Personal Interaction. Quite often your work may depend on other people to do their parts, or sometimes it may be that they are helping you. While emails are an efficient method of relaying a message or request, they do not relay to warmth of a personal conversation. When you want something to be given priority, take the time to place a call to the other party or walk by their office, even if to follow up after you sent an email. When you make that personal connection it moves your request up on the priority list. Typing pleeeeease in an email is completely different from actually voicing it at someone’s desk. Just like a smiley face in an email does not hold a candle to a bright pearly white smile or handshake. As a leader you can and will be able to get people to do the things you want, but the human connection makes it faster and easier. And this is not just if you are the boss- This is even more effective when dealing with your colleagues and even bosses.
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
Chasing Success? Find Your Compass in Your Passion
This week, there seemed to a theme to the conversations I was having and that theme was “I’m lost”. It seems that everyone was in the pursuit of success but had no idea what that meant them or what it would mean for them. There is more to success then just wanting it. You have to be able to define what success means to you so that you can know when you actually reach it. You also need to know what attaining success will mean for you because that is what will motivate you to keep reaching for it even when you feel that you’ve reached the last rung of your ladder and there seems to be a great distance left to go.
As children we generally receive cues from our environment that begin to formulate our ideas of success. Over time, these cues can become more vocal, such as parents telling us that we need to become doctors and lawyers. In adolescence, these thoughts tend to be guided more social and media pressure. The one thing that is usually present is the money factor. Parents want us to pursue careers based on financial motivation. Adolescents get attracted by certain careers based on the promise monetary potential. As we come into adulthood and develop our own passions, there are many things that we want to do that may not seem as the stream of financial wealth we’ve been conditioned to want. We put these passions aside and pursue the practical. It turns out that in many cases people who do this are denying themselves the opportunity to really have it all. There is nothing that says that your work cannot be a passion and source of financial gains.
Four of those discussions really stood out as having a common thread and that was the lack of a passion. Each individual wanted to achieve greatness at ‘something’ but had no idea what that something was, so for years now they had been going along different paths but never reaching a desirable destination. They all needed to want something enough that they would commit to getting there, but because they did not have that, many new options continued to come along and grasp their interest and change their course.
Unfortunately, not everyone is able to easily uncover their true passion, and many of those who were fortunate enough to reach that step don’t always know how to make it work for them. When seeking success, these two are key components.
If you find yourself in a similar situations here are a few questions that may help you get started on thinking about your passion:
- When you were a child what types to games did you play? Toys that interested you?
- As an adolescent what did you spend your free time doing? Or wish you had more time to do? (No, sleeping, drinking and the likes don’t count)
- If money was no object would you be doing something from those two responses or something else?
- Of all your paid and volunteer positions which was your favorite?
- Is there anything that you enjoy so much you would do it for free? (Look to past volunteer activities for this one too)
- What activities could you do every day and still be excited about them?
- Are there days you are most excited about going to work? If so what are you doing during these days?
- What is your dream job? Or what do you daydream about?
- What types of things do you think of when you wake up in the morning? Or when can’t sleep at night?
- If you won the lottery tonight what would you spend your days doing?
Once you answer the questions above, answer the next ones within the context of each response (Example- Travel)
- What parts of this is it that excites you? (Seeing new places)
- What is it that you get from this activity? (Learn new things)
- What you contribute with this? (Write and share knowledge)
There are many assessments that you can completed to help you figure the careers that would be best suited for your personality. If you can access them it could be beneficial to give them a try, but one of the best predictors of your success in any field is your desire to be in that field. When you have a passion for what you do, it not only makes your job easier, it also makes you better at it. You are more committed and more invested. You are more interested and more attentive. These can all contribute to your success in pursuing your passion.
So if you are feeling loss or dissatisfied it just may be time to take a look inside and see where your passion lies.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Mastery over multiplicity – Keys to maximizing your success
Today’s buzz words are “Multiple Income Streams”. With this ever changing market where no single income stream is guaranteed to be available next week, this actually makes sense. Unfortunately many people are floating along with this trend.
These days, everyone is offering “a great business opportunity”, or “a chance for you to get financial freedom”. Without discounting the opportunities that they do offer, we have to realize that every opportunity is not necessarily for everyone, and that we cannot all engage in all of them. Instead of being involved in every single venture, it may be more beneficial to specialize in an area. Regardless of what the field is, the depth of what you can offer can make a great difference for your clients. If I am looking at dietary supplement, I am more interested in working with a merchant who understands their product and the inner workings of the body than the one who can also sell me cleaning product and legal defense. I expect my dietitian to understand the body, my cleaning product supplier to understand cleaning, my attorney to understand the law and each of them to be up to date on current research.
Instead of being the one who dabbles in everything, a more effective way to raise your profile and increase your bottom line is to be an expect at what you do best. Take professional athletes for example, many of them are good at more than one sport, but they focus their energy on one and become great at it. From there, they still generate multiple streams of income by capitalizing on their expertise. Other professionals are able to do this as well, but we have to get past the mentality of having to get into every fad that comes up.
Instead of getting involved with everything:
Get involved with something you are passionate about. Whether you are working on curing cancer, selling blackboard chalk or providing a valuable service, if you love it you are more likely to succeed at it. The passion is what makes you want to wake up early to conduct research or meet with clients. When you are passionate about what you are doing it, comes through to your clients, which can get them to also become more excited about the product.
Get to know your product. Whether you are selling a physical product or proving a service, it’s important to know it well. Know everything you can about your product and where to gain additional information. Whether it’s how to get complementary products and services or ways to make your product more effective, the more you can help your clients benefit from it, the more likely they are to use and recommend it. Become the expert, that way you can be “the go to” person for that product.
Get to know your market. When you know your clientele, then you are better able to provide the service they require. Instead of consistently working on the product of the day, put the focus on your clientele so that you understand their relationship with your product and how to build a long term exceptional quality service relationship that keeps them returning to you. Remember, clients are great, but repeat clients are even better.
Get your brand known. Once you establish yourself as the expert let others know this by sharing your expertise. Use your knowledge to help others and expand their knowledge base. As people see the benefits of your expertise, they will not only come to you, they will also send others.
Many people can be a jack of trades but few people will be experts. Being an expert takes much effort and dedication but more importantly, it requires focus. That’s another reason that expert are able to receive premium fees for their services.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Summer and goals – Making them work together
We may not have reached the calendar’s “first day of summer” yet, but the season is here in full force. It turns out that this season that many look forward to, is one of the most difficult times for staying on task with goals. When you start adding children being out of school, vacations, visiting friends and family and the many other distractions that summer can bring, it becomes more difficult to stick with routines. There are a few options that can help you get through the summer.
One commonly used option which allows you to keep your sanity is to take a summer break. This is helpful in that you don’t have worry about keeping up with a schedule while enjoying your summer. You have the freedom to go with the flow but unfortunately you are also falling out of your rhythm, which can impact your ability to get back on track after the summer. Another negative impact of this option is that you are not progressing toward your goal. While it is a tempting prospect, it may also result in having to restart on your journey and lose the momentum you that you have built.
The option that most people attempt to employ is to keep working with their schedule. What this does is place you in a position where you are likely to be over extended as you work to keep working toward your goal while keeping up with some of the summer fun. Unfortunately, since you are not getting any more hours in your day to attend to new activities, you’ll find yourself not fully partaking in any of the many activities you have to engage in.
Those who try to keep working and forego the summer fun are also doing themselves a disservice by denying themselves desired and needed social interactions. Would you really want to stay home while the family’s at the beach? This is likely to leave you frustrated and could even lead you to resent the goal you are working toward. Such decisions can cause you to lose focus or desire to pursue your goal.
Another option is to adjust the plan and make your objectives and activities more summer-friendly. Of-course this will often mean that you may be reducing the amount of work that you are doing during the season, but that’s ok. Stressing over missing summer would probably have reduced your productivity even more. By adjusting your plan, you can still set and attain specific benchmarks and make progress toward your goal while enjoying a fun-filled summer.
When adjusting your plan here are a few helpful tips to remember
- Set a schedule ahead of time. Know who’s coming, where you’re going, as well as what you want to do and when. By making a plan of activities and trips that you want to partake in, you will be able to organize your schedule for work around them.
- Don’t miss benchmarks. Once you start to miss your benchmarks for meeting objectives it becomes easier to miss other ones. When things come up and you have to adjust the new plan, do so, but ALWAYS reschedule missed work.
- Use alternating intervals and rewards. Instead of stacking all the work at once it’s most effective to have a balanced interchange. Using these summer activities as rewards for reaching your benchmarks is also very effective
Remember. While it is important to make sacrifices to reach your goals, it’s also important that you maintain your physical and mental/emotional health. Partaking in life affirming activities is a necessity just as eating is. Overexertion can lead to burnout, which may not fully appear until the dreary winter days. Burnout can even lead to clinical depression, which you really don’t want to have to deal with on your journey to success. The most effective method for preventing burnout is having and good balance of life affirming activities- yes, having fun. Take good care of yourself so that you can attain and enjoy the fruits of your realized goals.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Getting Unstuck
A great plan is an invaluable roadmap to success- the only catch is that is has to be put into action. Sometimes you can start off on a roll and then find that you are stuck or not moving forward. This is something that happens to many people, especially when you come out of the gate flying. What happens too often is that you often plan for certain things and envision certain results. Once you get to that point then the plan needs to be extended to the next step. When you find yourself stuck on an endeavor, start by asking yourself these 5 questions.
- Where do I want to go that I’m not moving toward?
Sometimes what may seem like being stuck is you actually getting to where you wanted to be. Many professionals find themselves in this situation some times. At the start of their career or when they start a new business, they seem to be making great strides and moving quickly up the ranks, until eventually they plateau. It’s not that they don’t have that same drive as before, rather that the desire has been satisfied. If you want to start your business to work on your own terms and make enough to support yourself, you can do that. Societal norms however dictate that you want to get to the top of the organization, or grow your business into an empire. Always remember that it is possible that what you want is always ok. Enjoy having reached your goal. Don’t push it, and your new goal will reveal itself when you are ready.
When you allow societal norm to dictate what you pursue you are at risk of diminishing your drive and your confidence. When you go after something you don’t really want, you may not put forth the same effort you do for what you want. When this results in not reaching the goal your confidence can be affected. You may start to wonder if you “still got it” and or start accepting that this is the best you can do. This is very dangerous, because when you later establish new goals motivated by what you want, this established thought can impede your ability to successfully reach your new goal. Before you start chasing any dream, make sure that it is yours.
- What am I looking to gain by going this extra distance?
I can never say enough how important it is that goals are specific. A very successful career is not the same as President of a Fortune 500 company. It’s the difference between going to America and going to Disney Land. The more specific you are the easier it will be to map it out and follow the route. Many people who find themselves “stuck” don’t have a clear enough idea of where they want to go, so they find themselves working and not getting anywhere, which discourages them from wanting to continue. When you come to a rotary in the road, each of the four or more exits will take you to a location. The signs even tell you where each exit leads, but if you don’t know where you want to go, you can continue going round until you run out gas but you will still be in the same place.
Too often people go out in search of success without a clear definition of what that means for them. Many times they end up getting pulled in all sorts of direction that don’t give the results they want since they didn’t know what they wanted to begin with. The guy who wants to be shift supervisor is following a different path from the one who wants to be CEO. If you can demonstrate that you’re a team player and can be counted on, you could be a shift supervisor in many places. If your aspiration is to be CEO, you’ll need to forego being the one who can be counted on right now, pass on being the one who comes through to cover that shift so that you can attend classes and earn the degree that the CEO will need. Both of these positions require some sacrifice, and each one will make the sacrifice that earns him the desired positions.
Entrepreneurs often have great difficulty with this when they don’t have a clear business plan. They can dither in figuring out if they are going after the individual customer or the larger corporation. While it is possible to successfully do both, you need to know how much of your resources that you will designate for each. If you know the direction you want to go with our business then you can plan accordingly so that you can follow the path that leads you there.
Not having the proper resources is another place where people find themselves stuck. That is why it’s important to constantly take inventory of resources that are needed, those that are available as well as those that need to be secured. By doing this, you are less likely to be caught by surprise and find yourself rushing to accommodate or waiting at a standstill. When you have the resources at your disposal, you are less likely to have to break momentum waiting for them. If that has already happened and you find yourself stuck, this is a good time to go over what has been done, make revisions and review the plan. This will also allow you to see what resources that you may still need to procure in order to move forward and keep progress going. Timing is a very effective tool that can work for you in this case too. If you have to get things or have them delivered, you can schedule it so that deliveries are made just in time for the next step, which would be a great motivation to finish with the current step so that you are ready to move forward in time.
One of the things that many people do need is motivation. For any goal, motivation can play a crucial role. Having the people, objects, or events that motivate you in place for when they are is one of those necessities that can get overlooked. In many cases, if you are stuck that is one area that should be evaluated. You need to make sure that your motivators are in place and actually doing the job. If it’s your friends and family that you rely on for motivation, you need to make sure that they not only know that, but they are also able and willing to take on this task. If you need daily motivation, you have to make sure that you are not looking to get that from someone you talk to every two weeks, but instead from someone who you have daily interactions with.
- What can be done to fit the process into my lifestyle?
Our society encourages people to fit into existing boxes, but since we’re all so different the fit does not always work for everyone. Sometimes it’s best to the model and customize it to fit you. Another reason that people often get stuck is that they try to do things that they either don’t want to do or that just don’t work for them. Find a way to incorporate what you have to do into what you want to do. Not wanting to engage in certain activities is a great source of delay that can be avoided. It is much easier to fit a process into your lifestyle than to do it the other way around. So instead of uprooting your lifestyle, start with reconfiguring the process so that it fits your lifestyle and its purpose. So once you determine the tools, steps or activities that are necessary to realize your goal, start looking for ways to fit these into your schedule and giving them a place in your daily routine. By doing this you also don’t stall out trying to find time to move along with your project, because it already has its place in your day. If you start to find that you don’t have time or you are missing scheduled activities, it may mean that you need revisit the process for goodness of fit. Some times that may mean that you have to tweak it, and that’s perfectly fine, as long as your changes do not reduce efficiency or effectiveness. The best case scenario of-course is that your tweaking would improve these two, which would in turn increase productivity.
- What will be my reward for making it to the end?
Many people who say they’re stuck are just not motivated. They don’t have a strong enough reason to make them want to continue moving toward a goal.
Rewards are motivator. It does not matter how great or small the reward is; what matters is how much you want it. As a therapist I used to give toy cars to some of the boys I worked with as part of their behavior modification plans. The more they wanted the car, the harder they worked on their behavior. Each car they got had its purpose to them, maybe it was completing their line of Lamborghinis or adding their first one (yes I was matchbox baller). Once they knew why they wanted that reward they worked for it. As an adult you may want more than toy cars but you can still be motivated by rewards. Maybe you want the real Lambo. What ever the reward is, it has to be something you really wanted.
Your reward must be something that you have chosen because you want it, not because society or others think you should have. It has to be something that you want so much that the thought of getting it makes you smile, because that is what you will be focusing your attention on during these rough patches when they you feel like you’ve had enough and are ready to let go.
Rewards don’t have to be material, they just have to be tangible. Having time to do more with your family, special trips, self-time are all great rewards for those who want them. Helping others can be a great reward if that is what you want to do. If you want a safe environment for teens in your community to be, you will feel great when you open the teen center that will provide an alternative to hanging out at some corner, and that is a great reward.
