Rise & Grind! Five (5) Tips For Getting Out Of Bed In The Morning
Many of us struggle with the morning drag, but there are some things that you can do to help you beat it. Here are five of them.
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Give yourself reason to need to get up– Set alarms away from the bed or drink a little water at night. When your eyes open you need a reason to have to get out of that bed.
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Make your bed when your feet touch the floor– Start making the bed as you are getting up.
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Have a theme song and play it loud– It can even be one of you alarm. That song needs to start within a minute of your waking up and have it repeat. Don’t give yourself time to even think about the warmth of that bed.
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Let the day in– Let light into the room. Open blinds, open windows, open doors. Make your room look and feel like the day has begun.
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Start your morning routine immediately– Once you start moving don’t stop until you are done- Bathroom -> Breakfast -> Get dressed… Just keep on moving
Five (5) Stress Management Tips #MHAM
Stress management is necessary for maintaining one’s quality of life, but because “stress” is not always a visible, tangible or calculable item that can be pointed to on an imaging screen or shown on a lab result sheet, it is often over looked. Many people talk about stress but don’t actively engage in stress management. What people often neglect is the fact that failing to effectively manage stress can lead to some of the physical ailments that they will be able to see, measure and test for, such as ulcers and high blood pressure. It is also true that while “stress” is often talked about methods of managing it are not as often addressed as stress is often considered and accepted as “a part of life”. While that may be true, there are some things that can be done to reduce and manage stress, including the following:
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Exercise and Eat Well
Exercising is a great way to release tension. You can exercise to relax before things get out to hand, or if you are already feeling overwhelmed, exercising can help you release some of that pressure and give you an endorphin boost to help you get to the next step. Eating well is just as important as it provides your body with the necessary fuel to get through all that you are putting it through. It is not enough to eat to fill your stomach. Eating is about more than hunger prevention- it is the mechanism through which you support your body. Your car would stay up just fine perched up on four bricks, but I’m sure you prefer to have sitting on four tires when you park it, that way it is ready to go when you set off to your next destination. The same should apply to your body. Feed it right consistently so that it is ready to go handle your next challenge.
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Plan and Time Management
One of the greatest benefits of planning is that it allows you to in some way foresee what is to come. That gives you the opportunity to anticipate roadblocks and hiccups and put resources in place to address them. Planning helps you to manage your time more effectively and provide the opportunity to see and choose how you are investing your time.
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Delegate and Get Help
Make use of the resources available to you. There are others around who can and will take on some of the load and at time may do so even more efficiently. Take the opportunity to enlist them. When you delegate, you remove things from your plate allowing you time to focus on the things that you really do have to do. Having more to do than you have time for is another frequent source of stress. The pressure experience in trying to get it all done and feeling pressed for time can be easily managed by allow others to do their part. Many people feel the need to do it all so that it is done “their way” but you must also remember that your way is not necessarily the only way. There is a great need to make the shift from focusing on your way and to allowing simply a correct way to provide. The goal should be to have things done right, and that means accepting that there may be more than one way (your way) of doing something. Give others the opportunity to do something their way and get it right too.
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Prioritize and Pick Your Battles
Prioritize. Not just the things that you have to do but even more importantly, the things that you give your attention to. Be stingy with your mental space and emotions. Don’t just let anything and anyone in. This is one of the places that people waste most, by giving their time, attention and emotion to things that really do not matter. If a situation does not take away from you or would not possibly bring you a benefit, it may not be necessary for you to engage. The stress brought on by things that would not have affected our lives if we chose not to engage is completely avoidable. In life you will have more than your fair share of unavoidable stress, and it is up to you to keep your stress tank from over-flowing by not allowing the avoidable stresses to linger in.
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Speak Up and Talk To Someone
When a situation directly (or even indirectly but actually) affects your life, it is important to speak up and do so in a timely manner. Not speaking up doe s not make the issue go away. It simply gives it time to simmer inside you.
Managing stress effectively should create an opportunity for you to have more time to dedicate to life affirming activities. It does not matter what it is that you are doing, it simply matters that you are doing something. Engage in activities that remind you of how great life is. Take time to create and savor beautiful moments. It does not matter how much you do in your everyday life if you are not enjoying your life. Managing stress effectively helps you create opportunities to enjoy your life, so make stress management a priority.
#MHAM
Five (5) Must Haves For Adult ADD/ADHD Sufferers
Many adults now diagnosed with ADD/ADHD were once children whose needs for services was missed. Now as adults they have the diagnosis to help put a name to what they have been experiencing, but the is still a need to implement changes to help them manage the symptoms and make adjustments help them learn excel.
Every adult with ADD/ADHD should have
- A psychiatrist
- A therapist
- An accountability partner
- Technology
- A strong schedule/Plan/Organization system
Five (5) Tips For Fighting Seasonal Affective Disorder (Winter Blues)
Every year thousands of Americans experience Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) also known as the Winter Blues. It is a form of depression that is generally experienced during the winter months when days are shorter, darker and dreary. On average, 6% of the population experience this in various ranges every year. Fortunately, there are somethings that an individual can to help combat Seasonal Affective Disorder or help a friend who battles the Winter blues.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is a form of Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) that a person suffers during a particular season. Nationally, 6% of the population can be affected with a degree of this disorder, ranging from as low as 1% in the sunnier states to close to 10% in the states with the longer winter. This statistic shows that while SAD is more common in the winter and more prevalent in the areas with longer more dreary winters, but it is not limited to those areas. These seasonal disorders are different from a regular diagnosis of MDD in that they are only present during the specified season and can at times be relieved even without treatment as the season changes- that being said, you don’t leave them unaddressed and wait for the season to change because they can progress to an ongoing depression or other mood disorders. The intensity of the depression also can be too intense to just wait it out. People experiencing major depression endure severe symptoms that get in the way of their daily functioning and as is common with depression, suicidal thoughts, ideation and even behaviors are possible. If for more than two weeks you are feeling the symptoms of depression or noticing them in a loved one you should be looking at ways to help or getting help.
While I have posted other pieces on depression that include ways to help through depression it is important remember that professional services can be an invaluable resource to help alleviate and even eliminate the symptoms . When dealing with depression it is important to get help and do so right away because ignoring it only gives it time to get more intense. While minor episodes may be worked out through some active efforts at home, you need to be alert and attentive to notice when it is more than you can handle and need to get professional help.
It’s your life- Take control.
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
Networking with Depression and Anxiety
Networking is fun and exciting. It’s so great to meet new people right?
Well… that is, unless you are battling other issues.
Yes, we’re talking depression. Depression sucks, but you can work through it. When you’re battling depression, your body and mind know that something is wrong, and you may want to do something about it, but the symptoms don’t really take note of how they impact your life. People who suffer from anxiety issues may also experience great stress over getting out there and meeting new people. The simple thought of it can make them sick.
When experiencing depression, people are likely to feel down, sad, hopeless or they may experience a loss of interest in things, including the things they once enjoyed. With such things happening, the thought of going out and being sociable seems anything but exciting. Not to mention the lack of energy you’re also likely experiencing.
If you’re suffering from anxiety, you may even find yourself too physically ill to get out. Yet while all this is going on inside of you, life continues to go on around you.
So what do you do? How do you meet the need to network to advance your budding (or burgeoning) business? You just need to put together the resources to help meet your needs:
Know Your Battery Life
Sometimes you may be able to get yourself out and about, but after awhile of putting on that smile, your battery starts to drain, and you begin to shut down again.
Your battery life is that amount of time you can be out and about. It’s how long you can “be on,” where your symptoms may still exist, but you can hold them back enough to get through. While you’re doing what you need to do to remove your symptoms, it helps to have a few tools to help you manage them until you fully get rid of them.
Take care of yourself. Eat right, eating whether you have an appetite or not. Get enough rest, even if you’re having difficulty sleeping. Take time out to rest your body. It may be that all you can do is meditation or a breathing exercise, but do something to replenish your energy sources. All of these things can help increase your battery life.
Set Your Networking Goal
What is it that you want to or hope to accomplish through your networking? This stuff sounds hard, so why are you putting yourself through it? When you know the benefits you’re seeking, they can be used as a source of motivation and empowerment to help you get there.
Before you go into an event, set a goal for that event. It can be meeting three doctors or getting your business card in the hands of four accountants. This way, when you walk in, you can focus on getting that done. You can allocate your time to ensure that this gets done before your battery drains. If you have time remaining, you can then decide to meet more people or give yourself a break and cut out earlier. Either way, you will have accomplished what you came out for.
Set Targets
Decide who you are looking to meet who can help you achieve these goals. This helps you eliminate the pressure of having to talk to everyone. Once you know who you’re looking for, then you can conserve your energy a bit instead of exerting too much in random conversation.
Be Strategic About Which Events You Attend
Happy hour at the new hottest spot in town may be nice if you’re feeling energetic and want to just hang out with whoever, but when you’re looking to meet with specific people, you need to get to a place that’s likely to have more of them.
If you’re looking to grow your pharmaceutical sales business, then you want to meet with doctors who are prescribing the medications you sell. That’s not to say that meeting a nice VP of sales at a local bank couldn’t be helpful; it’s just that you have a higher likelihood of success in increasing sales by meeting doctors. So instead of going to the general networking meeting hosted by the local Chamber of Commerce, you want to attend the event hosted by the medical association.
Generally, I wouldn’t refer to time spent getting to know any person as “a waste of your time.” However, when working within the limitations of your symptoms, I would call it mismanagement of your limited resources.
Take Advantage of Smaller Events
When there are fewer people to interact with, you’re able to be less all over the place and can focus on getting to know one or two people and making that connection. This doesn’t require you to go too far out of your comfort zone.
You can even initiate these types of encounters by reaching out to the people you want to meet. You can call, but in this case, the more probable option may be to reach out in writing through email or—even better—a mailed letter or note. You can send these to your desired contact and advise that you will be calling within a specified time frame. This commits you to making that call, but having sent that initial communication makes getting on the phone easier because you’re not making the ever-so-terrifying “cold call.”
Get Involved
When you become engaged in events and make commitments, you get yourself to the point where you have to get to the event. It’s more difficult to back out when others are depending on you.
Take on small but important tasks that will cause you to have to go once you’ve decided to attend an event. It could be something as simple as bringing the name badges or being a friend’s ride. As your battery life gets longer, you can take on more consuming tasks, but don’t overexert yourself at first, because you don’t want to make the experience so overwhelming that it gives you more reason to back out in the future.
Attract People
When you don’t have much energy or desire or you’re just feeling down, you’re not really looking forward to going up and striking conversations with new people. The best thing you can do is make them come to you.
Have something unique that makes people want to know more so that they come talk to you. A friend of mine uses a cartoon sticker, which causes people to come up and ask what it’s all about. I write my organization name, “Living The Dream,” prominently on name tags, which makes people come up to ask me about it.
Your attraction piece can be something unique to you or that pulls at the interest of the people you want to meet. Just make sure it’s placed to be seen. This one works great for people who experience anxiety over meeting people or are just shy.
Make Information Available
Your business cards are a great way to do this. In addition to your name, title and contact information, they can say things about you that prompt people to ask questions. You can add things like specialties or accomplishments on the back—just three to five one-line bullet points that give people information about you and are great conversation boosters.
Follow Up First
You should always do follow-up to maintain that connection with the people you want to keep in your circle. When you follow up first, however, you can set the timing and pace of when the communications happen. You can set the tone and set things up for the best times for you.
When you decide to meet with people, schedule meetings at times that promote the speed you need. When you schedule to meet with someone after hours, they may be rushing home or they may be free as a bird and ready to hang out longer than you can.
Based on your battery life, you can make recommendations. A meeting at the office can last a few minutes or an hour depending on what the parties make of it. Meeting for coffee is shorter than meeting for lunch. Meeting for lunch is more time-limited than meeting for drinks afterwards.
Look Great
When you’re preparing to go to a networking event or a meeting with a new contact, it’s also important to get primped up. Looking good promotes feeling good. So put care into your appearance—not so much for others, but for your own sake. Stick with ensembles that you feel good in.
Depression and anxiety can take a considerable amount of time to work through. Even when you’ve sought the help of a professional and are working your way out of it, you still have this life that you need to be a part of. So make use of the tools that are available to help you manage.
What About Employer Loyalty?
There was a time when employee loyalty was expected. People went to school and then went off to work for an employer where they would stay through the duration of their working lives. Promotion within the organization was the only movement most people looked for. Now people are seeing more of a difference. It’s not that these organizational values didn’t exist in the days where you worked 50 years for a company and then got sent off with a gold watch. There is one thing that is missing from most employers’ benefits packages now- the pension plan that encouraged that employee loyalty. In addition to that, employees can be loyal to their employers, to find in many cases, that their loyalty is not reciprocated. So what’s the hold now?
Many people, especially those in the helping professions stay for loyalty to the clients, fear of going out and starting in a new environment, the comfort of complacency and numerous other reasons that do not provide opportunities for them.
Because so many organizations are more openly bottom line focus, one can’t hinge their future on an organization being there for them. Let’s face it, when it become more beneficial to the organization, every employee, no matter how valuable they seem at the moment is expandable. Loyalty to the organization is not necessarily going to advance your career any more than finding the right opportunity elsewhere. Passing up on other opportunities however will surely hold you back with no guarantee that another will be available when you are ready to take that leap.
Staying for the sake of clients as, noble as it may sound is also not a good enough reason either. Some professional relationships will have planned termination while others will mature to that point. Clients are supposed to grow and evolved, meaning that at some point the clients may no longer need your services and move on. In most cases, you will have new clients as other clients exit, so the idea that you don’t want to leave clients who are used to you will always be there. Unless you phase out your clientele until the last one exits- despite the financial changes that brings. So what do you do then?
You have to realize that no matter what your profession is there were multiple reasons that you entered the field. Working with your clients or projects was only a part of the reason you chose your career. There is the aspect of personal fulfillment, as well as the need for a career that will serve to meet other needs, such as financial. When you tie yourself to an organization for whatever reason other than your meeting needs, then you are denying yourself the opportunity to have your needs even more greatly met elsewhere.
As a therapist I encountered this issue in me as well as peers- When you get to that point where you are ready to move on the next step of your career or just away from your current position but you have clients who are making such great progress. You have to have to be able to make decisions based on a systems perspective. That was the reason on instituted Employer Performance Assessment that is completed at three, six and twelve months into a position and annually afterwards. Just like the employee assessments that are administered for the employer to determine if an employee should be retained, as the employee we are entitled to this same opportunity. Just as after employee evaluations sometimes there are performance improvements that the employee has to make to better meet organizational standards or expectations, I had the same requirement for my Employer Performance Assessment.
How did this work? Around the time of each assessment period, say around 90 at the beginning, I sat down and completed the assessment just like a supervisor does for employees. I was doing this based on my knowledge and experience with the organization in the time since the last assessment. Once the assessment was completed, I looked at any items that did not receive full marks to determine if there was a way to get to full marks within an acceptable period. Sometimes it was just things that I needed to or rework, and at times I needed to reach out to supervisors for assistance in making the desired changes.
In as much as you have obligations to yours employer, you should also have expectations them as well. Just as they would not keep you around when you are not meeting their standards, you also have that same option. Now this does not mean that you decide that the organization is not meeting your needs so you up and quit. What this means is that when you determine that your needs are not being met by your employers then you should be implementing a plan to get these needs met where with your current or a new employer…
We invest too much of ourselves in our work for it to be anything but satisfying. You spend about half, sometimes more of your waking hours at work or doing something related to work. Leisure time and activities have to be scheduled around work. So it you are investing so much of you in something then it should be satisfying in every way that you desire. When that fair exchange is not happening then you owe it to yourself and the clients that you serve to make a change happen. Otherwise your investment in the services you provide can suffer thus affecting your clients.
There many reasons to stay but often the ultimate question is- does the position continue to meet the needs that you wanted met when you accepted your position and when you entered your field. If the answer to either question is no then you should be looking for opportunities that will allow you to answer yes to both.
Thoughts Dictate Actions- Only Action Can Produce Change
These days we hear a lot about changing mindsets, shifting thoughts and the many other ways that it’s said. The conversation needs to continue beyond though and into action. I am a strong proponent of changing one’s thoughts in order to make life changes. I am a Cognitive Behavior Therapist through and through. The thing about Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is that while it starts with thoughts, its power is in the action. Changing one’s thoughts is supposed to help or at least ease the changes in behavior. It seems that there is a great deal of emphasis that is being placed on the cognitive part that is not matching with the behavior portion. It’s not just about thinking that “yes I can get the job” it’s having the mindset and following it up with actions. I have heard Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich as well as Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad quoted out of context too many times. While both books may speak about a mindset, the behavior aspect of these lessons should not be missed. You can’t just think a million dollars into your account without first taking the steps that can generate a million dollars. Even lottery winners had to at least get the ticket.
I still remember my professor repeating “stop that stinkin’ thinkin’” which he drilled into us. The reason this change is needed is that the way we think determines how we behave. If the thinking is positive, the behaviors that follow will be positive. That will in turn produce more positive feelings and thoughts. Of course, that means that the reverse is just as true. Negative thoughts nurture negative feelings and the resulting behavior is just as negative and continues the cycle. Thankfully, it only takes one change in the pattern to break the cycle.
Following through is one of the more difficult parts of this whole thing. When making changes toward positive outcomes, the change may be slower in coming, thereby making it more difficult to notice. When things are already negative, it is easier to notice that they have not changed because there is already so much of it covering up what positive changes may have occurred.
So how do you change this?
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Switch your mindset. Stop that stinkin’ thinkin’. Think more in terms of the outcome that you are looking for. While culturally we may be programmed to think of the many things that could go wrong, we have to change that to focusing on the many ways that things can go right. It’s not about taking pointless risks, like getting on a bike without a helmet because many accidents don’t result in head trauma. Rather it’s putting on your safety gear and then jumping on the bike because you’ve always wanted to ride, and knowing that when you follow certain safety precautions you can learn to ride and not get hurt, as opposed to not getting on the bike because people have had accidents. When you switch your mindset you are not necessarily oblivious to the fact that bad things can happen, you are just more focused to the positive things that you can make happen and taking the steps to bring them about. Instead of cowering in fear, you step out on faith.
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Analyze the behaviors that you have engaged in the past as well as the behaviors of those who have achieved the goal that you want to achieve. You’re not looking to copy; you just need to understand the difference. Then you can move on to an assessment of your own resources to determine what you have or will need in order to change the behaviors that have held you back in the past. Of course you already know that the next step will be finding ways to tackle them.
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Visualize yourself engaging in these behaviors. Whether it’s personal financial, professional or whatever- Visualize yourself taking the steps that are necessary and having the outcome you desire. If you can visualize yourself meeting your targets at work and getting the promotion, then your body feels safe engaging in the behavior and reaching for that outcome. Let’s face it, change is scary. If you can visualize making changes and getting the results, then you are giving yourself permission to go after them, because in your mind’s eye you have seen the positive outcome that can be reached. Once you’ve experience the feeling of being in your new home, it makes it easier to not whip out our credit card when you see those new shoes.
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Energize your actions. Don’t just go in with the hopes of it working. Go in knowing that this is what will work. If you’ve taken the time to do your research and preparations and discovered the tools that can work, then take ownership. Know that if you do your part certain things will happen as a result. Just as you know that if you poor water on paper it gets wet, know that when you study you will learn. If occupy your mind with hopping that you learn, then you are using mental energy that can be going towards your learning to entertain the potential of a negative outcome. You’re using learning space to store your fear of not learning. How much sense does that make? Take every step expecting it to yield the positive result that it should. If you are thinking that way, your body has way of taking the steps necessary to ensure success.
Remember, if it’s worth having, it’s probably not easy to get. That is one of the ways the value of our goals are increased. The more valuable your prize, the more difficulty you may encounter in getting it. This also means that the more difficulty you encounter on the journey to reaching your goal, the more rewarding the prize will be when you do get it.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
http://www.drjudic.com/
Hateration Fuels Your Fire But You Decide Which Fire
There are many things in the world that can be used for tremendous good or evil equally. Take Chemistry for instance- with the right mix lives can be saved, while through another just as many can be destroyed. Geometry and physics can be applied to build or demolish spectacular structures. Hateration is another force that is dually powerful. It can fuel your way to success or fuel the fires of negativity incinerate your dreams.
Hateration takes the form and strength that the individual allows it to. If you decide to give in and let it win, it will take over. It can consume you and lead you to spend so much time worrying about the negatives and not enough working toward positives. It can lead you to be so blinded by obstacles that you can’t see the solutions that stare in your face. But most of all if it is allowed to, Hateration can cause you to please your haters and prove them right, by doing what they wanted you to do and failing where they predicted you would.
Hateration is like fuel that is being added to the fire. If the fire burning within you is that of doubt and discouragement, then that it will magnify them. But if you are burning with a passion for success, a strong commitment to achieve your goals, adding fuel to that fire can propel you to the next level. The criticisms of others will make you work that much harder. For every person who said you cannot do what you set out to, you will work a few more hours to make sure that you do. Each time you hear that it’s impossible you will do more research to discover how it is possible. When you use the discouragement of others as a reminder of your pioneering potential, you can’t help but push further.
In this case, hateration would be the fuel that moves you further. It’s not that you could not get there without, but since it’s there, instead of wasting your energy working to remove it, you use the energy that it can provide you. It is a great tool for those who know how to harness its energy.
The power of hateration is in what it leads you to do, and every time you use it to move closer to your goals- YOU WIN. There is saying that “behind every successful person there is a group of haters”. We hope that is not true, but is it is something that only the haters change. An individual working towards goals cannot afford the time that it takes to appease this group. That time is much better spent garnering more supporters through good work and dedication to your goals and the things that really matter.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
What’s their opinion costing you?
Not long ago I found myself in a discussion with someone who was holding back from doing what she wanted for fear of what others may think. How many times have we all seen that? How many times have we DONE that? If you take some time to look around you’ll notice that not only are there people around you who are not pursuing their dreams and getting what they want from life, you may have at some point even been one of those. I know I have.
I talk a lot about my swimming adventures now, but two summers ago I would even look at water, so jumping in was definitely out of the question. Yes, I know I’m from an island. I could see the Atlantic from the front porch of my home in Haiti, but we don’t mess with water like that. Later on (late teens – early 20s) I did want to learn to swim, but the thought of how I would look a “grown woman” trying to swim did cross my mind. In fact so much that I delayed this pursuit a few times. The opportunity presented itself again a couple of years ago and I accepted a friend’s offer to teach me. One of my best decisions! I didn’t just find my new favorite form of complete workout; I also learned a potentially life-saving skill. I won’t lie, I’m still a Black woman and my hair plays a big part of deciding when and how often I swim, but everyday in the pool is a joy and a blessing.
My hang-ups about being a grown woman learning to swim may not have had great professional impacts, but still affected my life. The level of exercise I accomplish through an hour of swimming would take me a good two hours in the gym. A small but notable impact on my every day life. Unfortunately, for most people the impact is much greater. When you start thinking of people who are delaying going back to complete their schooling, making career moves that are not in line with what is expected of them. While delaying their personal advancements, they are frequently faced with a disgruntled existence. Some things may be going well, but that missing piece keeps the picture from being complete. Over time the void left by the missing piece seems to get bigger and the discontent that wraps around it has no choice but to grow along.
Earlier I watched a clip of a presentation by Abiola Abrams, where her message was “So What?” – encouraging her audience to stand up to their self-imposed limitations. That’s exactly what all of us need to learn to say about the opinions of others and the limitations we try to put on ourselves. These limitations give the individual permission to not do their best. The limitations become the crutches that justify not getting in the race even as the lone competitor.
The limitations that you place on yourself or allow others to place on you in the end are costing you a great deal, but having little if any effect on the external limiters. In most cases the individuals whose opinions you are concerned with are too busy focusing on their own issues to even have an opinion on what you are or aren’t doing. In the rare case that others are taking the time to form an opinion, your thought should be more on what part of their own growth are they neglecting to make time to criticize you?
You can’t waste your time worrying about people who are too busy getting their house in order to even be concerned with you. As you cower away, shielding yourself from their judgment, they will be more than occupied with experiencing their own growth, enjoying their own successes and living a life that you can now only wish for from your little corner of fear. These are not the type of people whose opinion you need to worry about, instead they are the people who you can take a hint from. Seeing how they go for their goals should be a source of inspiration not intimidation. They may be facing the same limitations you are, but having chosen to succeed they could not be bothered with limitations. Instead of worrying what they would think of you, focus on how you can get their help on your own journey. They may be too busy to judge you but they could still make time to help you. Quite often, learning from them does not even require more than observing their normal behaviors, which speak volumes.
And you should certainly not waste your time on those you fill their time in judgment of those working toward personal growth and achievement instead of doing the same. Chances are, if they were not just as concerned of what others may think of them, they would probably be out there making the same efforts as you. Once you have taken the first step of getting started, you are already ahead of them.
Like the lyrics from that old song say “haters gonna hate ballers gonna ball”. While all that is happening it will be up to you to decide where you fit in the picture. You can sit back and avoid having people judge you for daring to expand your horizons. At the end of the day you will be right where you started with them. You also always have the option of taking that leap and giving it your all. But at the end of that day even if you’ve not yet arrived, you will certainly be closer to your goal and probably a comfortable distance ahead of those who were too busy judging you to get started themselves.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Reality Is The Product Of Investment In Dreams
Reality is not the absence of dreams. Rather it is a place where dreams can come to fruition. Have you ever heard people say that someone is living in a “dream world”? Maybe it was said about you. They say it like it’s something bad. Like you need to step out of your thoughts and your dreams and join the rest of the world in reality. But what they fail to realize is that this reality that they speak of all started with a dream. Next time you get in your car for that 2 minute drive to wherever, think of how long a walk it would have been if the dream of creating a motorized vehicle was abandoned to embrace the current reality.
Where you are today is simply an indication of where you are today and has no bearing of where you can and will be tomorrow. Your future is dictated by what your desires, your thoughts, your beliefs and willingness to take the steps necessary to get you there. It is always so frustrating to hear people place limitations on children and act them based on those limitations. Who are we to limit the future of an individual? Thinking big is not just a saying that children should hear in school, but instead it is a way of life that should be nurtured and encouraged in people of every age.
Where our society goes wrong is in not wanting to people, especially children to set themselves up for disappointment by reaching for the unattainable: a desire to provide the shelter from the negative. There are a just a few things wrong with that, including that nothing is really unattainable to the person who is determined. Instead of sheltering from disappointment, why not prevent it by realizing the dream.
If we were to survey teenage boys, we would probably find that half of them aspire to be an athlete or artist of some sort. But if we really dug deeper we would find that the desire is not so much the position as it is what they associate with it. They want what those people have. But if we take the time to really explore the dreams, the passion, we would find that there are other talents that they have that can be nurtured to help them find the success they desire. Instead of discouraging them from pursuing these dreams, we need to help them clarify what it is that they are truly after and then identify the resources they possess or need to acquire to realize these dreams. While we’re at it- we can get quite a few adults on that path too.
As with any investment, the more diligent investor tends to have a better shot. Yes, there are times that external factors can affect the returns, but more often then not, having a clear desire that is purposefully and resolutely pursued wins out. Taking the time to acquire the resources and being prepared to take the steps toward the dream no matter what should not be underestimated. The diligent investor will give their investments time to mature and know that there may be low points and that they need to stick around and ride those out no matter what, until better days come back around. Having this same attitude with one’s dreams would yield similar results. Taking the time to get the information that is needed and than being fully dedicated to implementing that knowledge can make the difference between immeasurable success or lack there of.
Whether for adults or children, it’s not about living in “the real world” or facing reality because this “real world” or reality is ever changing. More importantly each individual has the opportunity to guide the direction of that change. We may not always be able to get things to move where we want when we want just by snapping a finger, but through conscious and diligent investment in the future, big differences can be made. So next time the 15 year-old says he wants to be a football player, don’t just shut him down. Instead, explore with him what he really wants and what he has to do to get there. Then encourage him to put in the work so that one day his dream can come to fruition.
Dreams are not a bad thing. Dreams and reality are definitely not mutually exclusive. In fact, investing in dream can create a reality that is better than imagined. So don’t start dreaming and NEVER ask a child to give up on a dream. Instead make the investment that can realize your own dreams and instill in children the work ethic that will inspire them to do the same.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
You Are Worth it!
One of my friends used to have an Eleanor Roosevelt quote on her voice mail “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”. I had to restate this more than a couple of times this past week as I heard people say in one context or another how someone made them feel. To allow someone to make you feel that you are unworthy or less deserving is to allow that individual to wield too much power over you. Anyone can slip into that negative thought for a brief moment. What makes the difference is how long you choose to stay in that moment and how you react to it.
Your worth and everything that you deserve must first start with you. If you don’t know or believe that you are worthy and deserving of great things, you will be susceptible to any cues that others may present, whether intentionally or not. If you choose to know your value to this world, then the opinions of others would weigh less on your feelings about yourself. And even if someone did suggest otherwise you would not be easily convinced.
Frequently, in these situations when you allow another person’s behaviors or statements to dictate your feelings it is truly because are taking on something that had nothing to do with you. People generally don’t act to negatively impact others, but instead act for their own personal convenience. So if a man or woman is not giving you the attention you desire, it’s not because you aren’t worth it; but because his values are placed elsewhere at the moment. If you decide to make yourself responsible for other people’s choice than you are placing yourself in a position to feel a great deal of hurt. You may blame them, but the true cause is somewhere inside of you.
Still, if other people’s opinions, behaviors or insecurities are affecting your views of yourself, the great question then is: What is going on with you that is allowing you to give someone else the power to dictate your feelings about yourself. Instead of focusing on the other party and how they made you feel, focus inside and uncover the root of that feeling. Someone cannot make you feel insecure if the seed of insecurity is not already activated within you.
When someone else’s cues are surfacing negative feelings about yourself, it’s time to do some work on yourself. This may be as simple as taking an inventory of the many things that make you great, but sometimes it could be deeper. You must be willing to invest the time and effort to gain or regain your connection to who you are. If the inventory does not get you to the level that you need to be, then seek help. Whether through professional help or the use of tools to help yourself, it’s worth taking the time to strengthen one’s sense of self worth because what you believe your self to be is what you will truly be. The truth remains: no matter how many times others may tell you that you are amazing; you need to believe that for it to have any impact. Otherwise the positive feedback of many will be easily drowned by the criticism of one.
As René Descartes put it “I think therefore I am”. So positive or destructive, the way it is in your mind is the way it will be in your reality. Next time you think someone is making you feel that you are not worth something, ask yourself why you are agreeing, then work to change that.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
You Must Get Up to Win: 5 Tips For Staying Up.
The truth is, if success was easy everyone would have it, but it would not be so highly coveted. While success does not follow a straight path and may come with many difficulties and pitfalls, the journey is well worth it when you reach the desired destination. Unfortunately, many people don’t get to enjoy that last part of their success journey because they abandon the path before reaching their reward.
In any game, including the game of life, you have to get back up each time you fall to have a chance to win. There is no guarantee that you will win by getting up, but if you stay down you will lose- even if by default. Sometimes you receive a blow so hard you question whether or not you should get back up, but if you remember why you entered the game and still want a chance at winning, you have to get up.
Frankly, getting up is only the first step, because once you’re up you need to find a way to stay up. As you work your way back to your feet, there are a few steps you can take to help you stay on them.
Practice Patience. Success is indeed a journey, not a destination. There are times that we all may need to have that poster up on our wall as a reminder. Every step you take along your journey to success has its place in helping you reach your success goals. Be patient with yourself and your process. Trying to take short cuts often lead to more setbacks, but an unsuccessful attempt does not signify the end of the journey. Instead it is a reminder of a need for proactive waiting- You know what you are after and you have to be willing to proceed through the journey to get to it. You may not be able to leap over the dam without falling in a few times, but if you take a moment to find the bridge and walk across you’ll probably get there sooner- That is proactive waiting.
Assess the cause of the fall. When fall off your path you need to take a moment to figure out what happened so that when you get back up you don’t repeat the same mistakes. Determining what steps took you off your path will allow you to also explore alternatives that will help you move forward. Remember, history will continue to repeat itself as long as man is foolish enough to not learn from it. Look at the things you did to keep you on the path before and the steps that led you off it. Then use your judgments and skills to determine how you can replace these faulty steps with more productive ones.
Use your time wisely. Ever notice when a fighter falls he sometimes stays down for a few counts before he gets up? He’s taking the time to gather up his energy so that he has the strength to attack once he’s up. If you fall off your path to success this is not the time to sit around dwelling on what you did not do. It’s time to regain your strength to get back in the game with renewed energy. Look at every unsuccessful attempt as the elimination of a method, getting closer to finding the method that will work. Use that time to gather the resources that you will need to help you last longer on your next attempt.
Strategize your moves. Just because success is a journey does not mean you should just go along haphazardly and hope to get where you wanted. Every step you take should have a defined purpose; even if it’s as simple as moving the journey along or making it more pleasant. You should have a strategy that can get you from where you are to where you want to be. Having a strategy helps you maximize your resources and have greater influence and autonomy on how things go. Having a strategy can be the difference between creating your success versus hoping to succeed.
Evaluate. Constant evaluation gives the reassurance that you are taking the right steps when you see that you are staying on the right path. It also provides an opportunity to make adjustments when you have deviated from the path or when there is a need to deviate. Take care not to spend more time in this stage. Evaluation should be taking place constantly as you progress in your journey, as a result you do not need to spend an excessive amount of time on this at every turn. Manage it well.
Failure only exists when you don’t make the next attempt.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
7 Tips For Preventing Burnout
Burnout is something that is experienced by many individuals from students with a course overload, to the frontline employee who has no autonomy and feels unappreciated or the high level executives feeling the pressure to do everything. It’s a state of being emotionally drained which often comes from trying to give more of ourselves than we have to give. Though the symptoms are usually progressive, they can also be sudden, and fall into 4 major categories
Behavioral- Decrease in efficiency, reduced capacity to cope, dreading work.
Interpersonal- Withdrawing from friends and loved ones, lack of enjoyment or participation in life affirming activities.
Physical- Increased presence of insomnia or sleeping too much. Feeling fatigued or always getting sick.
Emotional/Mental- Hyper-irritability or depression, feelings of emptiness or helplessness.
Of-course these are only a few examples of the wide array of symptoms that one can experience. One of the most prevalent symptoms is the change in thought and attitude toward the job. The job you once loved becomes a dreaded enemy. The passion you had about starting your business feels more like an inescapable burden. Before you get to this point there are a few things that you can do to prevent it.
- Self-care is the first and most effective way to prevent burnout. Self-care is the simple process of taking the time to attend to your personal needs (including physical, emotional and social needs). Take care of your body, from going to the doctor to eating right and working out. You have to make sure that you are physically and mentally able to work to ensure maximum efficiency. By giving yourself a break and participating in life-affirming activities you save the stress and time it would take to deal with burnout.
- Have a life. No matter how much you enjoy your job, it can’t be all that you are. You must take time to have a life outside of work that involves people with whom you can just be yourself, where the expectation is simply that you are there as a you. Participate in life affirming activities. Go to a ballgame, attend a musical or just run in the rain. Maintain a balanced life where you have time to have fun and be serious because the body and mind need both. Do the things to get your blood pumping and remind you that you are alive.
- Keep a strong social/ emotional support system. Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive people helps keep you in that state as well. Humans are social beings. We need social interaction with our peers and even more interactions with those who keep our spirits up. When the pressures or frustrations of work start to become overwhelming those are the people you can turn to for temporarily relief while you figure out your next step or just to help you figure out how you want to move forward. When the work loads get heavy and schedules get overloaded, people have a tendency to cut out more of the leisure activities and socializing. Doing that is a great disservice to your wellbeing. When you feel you have no time to socialize, find time to reap the benefits a good support network.
- Learn to prioritize and schedule. The feeling of having to do too much at once is a stressor that can make work seem more overwhelming and a result more tasking. Being able to prioritize responsibilities and allotting time to address individual tasks makes projects more manageable, thus less stressful. Setting aside time to attend to particular tasks gives you a plan of action, which is also very effective in decreasing work-related stress.
- Address conflicts between your values and responsibilities. If you find yourself in a situation where your professional duties conflict with values and/or professional code of ethics don’t mumble about it under your breath. Doing something that conflicts with your values takes a heavy mental and physical toll. It’s like trying to keep your head above water while swimming upstream against heavy currents. You can do it for a while but eventually your body gives out. If you find that your responsibilities are in conflict with your core values, take the time to figure out an acceptable resolution for you, and present it to those with the authority to accept such adjustments. Whether that is your clients as a business owner or your managers as an employee, you have to address it with the ones who can make the change happen. Complaining to coworkers or friends only remind you how wrong things are. This information should be shared with friends and coworkers mainly in the context of having them help you brainstorm and come up with a solution.
- Be valuable, but not invaluable or valueless. You don’t have to be all for the job. When I find clients doing this, I often use the gruesome example that if they died today, the organization would begin working to replace them tomorrow. This is not to devalue the person, but simply remind them of the reality. You want to be great at what you do. You can even be the best at you do. It’s when you try to take on everything that it becomes a problem. As you attempt to take on every duty professionally, you reduce the time that you have to replenish the energy being exerted. It’s great to apply yourself. Going above and beyond the call of duty can lead to great career advancements. Making yourself carry the weight of an entire organization however places you on the fast track to burnout. There is a balance and you must find it. Even when you are building your own business, don’t put the pressure of being the one and only on your shoulders. You can still be there for your clients and provide optimal service without having to be everything to them.
- Choose autonomy over authority. Much like being the one who does everything, being the only one who makes every decision can also weigh heavily on you. Focus on the decisions at your pay grade. If you are a department director and have an office manager, let the office manager worry about ordering the office supplies (you can still put in a request for you preferred pens). Empowering your team to make decisions within the scope of their responsibility frees you from having to take on that responsibility. Delegate tasks and allow your team to take ownership. This also helps strengthen your team because autonomy is necessary at all levels of the organization. It allows people to be individuals who think for themselves instead of mechanical pieces of the organizational machine. This also allows them to feel like valued members of the organization. When your team has ownership of their projects and responsibilities, they are more productive and happier employees who will rely on you less and are less demanding on your time.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Don’t Let Success Eclipse The Objective- 5 Tips for Maintaining Success
For most of my life I have been known as the sleepless one. My insomnia would have me up at that oddest of hours, where I’m wide awake with nothing to do. About 8 years ago I found some tools that helped. The biggest component was creating a space that was for sleeping where when I entered the room my body and mind knew it was time to relax. This required a major change since I had bee doing homework and watching TV in my room since middle school.
I moved out of my apartment where I had a desk in my room and found a place that offered a designated workspace. Since 2003 my home has always had a designated workspace which has now grown into and actual home office. My room has always been set up to provide the necessary relaxing environment and the system was working fine. As long as I went to bed at what was my bed-time, I could fall asleep and get the rest needed for a productive next day.
Seven years later this was such the norm that I forgot all about the reason for it. During the recent cold days I would go to my room with my computer. I found myself going there to do my paperwork, research and writing. As I was working in the warm and cozy environment my mind and body were readjusting to the new program. Before too long I was still up at 3 or 4 AM with my mind in full productivity mode as I toss and turn. I was getting great ideas of thing I want to do, how to fix and issue, marketing strategies, but the only thing I wanted was sleep. Blissfully unaware of the world sleep.
What actually happened was having such great success that I was taking it for granted. I lost sight of the goal and in turn started to slip back into old patterns. I lost sight of the goal I started with, which is an error many people make. When starting out in a new school or new positions we often run into this. New business owner do this much too often. When working toward the goal, it’s easy to stay focused on t as a target to be reached, but success is not a one shot deal. Once you reach it the level of success you once sought you still have to continue to work on maintaining it. Non one wants to have a successful business this year and just drop it all next year. Once you set a goal you want to arrive at that point and stay there or move forward. If you forget what you are trying to accomplish or why, you are less likely to keep working for it.
This is not to say that you should not enjoy success, rather that you should be mindful of how you got there, so that you will not what you need to do to stay there. When you enjoy the benefits of your success you are more likely to want to work to maintain it. You just have to be cautious not to take it for granted and become so complacent that you are so busy enjoying that you forget to maintain.
When it’s time to maintain the success you have earned, keep these in mind:
- When you reach a goal set a new one- Whether you are working toward maintenance or advancement a goal keeps you working toward something.
- Always set and implement Action Plan for every goal- A goal without an action plan that is being implemented is just wishful thinking which does not yield results.
- Keep yourself surrounded with others in that stage- When you reach you the success that you’ve worked for stay close to others who are there keeps you doing the things you stay there. After working so hard to succeed, you need to be around people who can show you how to keep succeeding and staying away from those behaviors that prevented you from getting there before.
- Elevate others- Knowledge is one thing that you can get more of by sharing it. By helping others learn to climb the ropes you climbed you are keeping your skills while doing good for others and making a change in the world.
- Seek ways to improve your processes- The world is evolving and if you are not keeping up you are likely to get passed up. Staying away of new research, methods and products always you to grow with clientele and their needs.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Are Meetings Killing Efficiency- 5 Steps Efficient Operation
What is a meeting? Too often it is an event where one person at a time gets up and speaks about something that many of the supposed-to-be- listeners have little or no interest. People attend this event because they been told they have to attend because their attendance was “MANDATORY” or they just wanted to justify their time at work while not doing real work.
Business in our society is no doubt meeting-driven. We have meetings about everything; especially in larger organizations. But does every announcement really require a meeting? We’re getting to the point where we’re having meetings about having meetings. Many of us have been subjected to the weekly waste of time some companies call staff meetings where you leave wishing you could have brought some work in with you.
Let’s monetize the cost of a meeting- Imagine you have 20 people coming to a meeting and 10 of them have to travel 30 minutes from a different site. Let’s say these meeting participants produce at a rate of $150 per hour. Just from the 10 people who have traveled a total of an hour to and from the meeting you lost $1500. If the meeting lasts 3 hours (the average is 2-2.5 hours), that’s another $9000 (or on average 6000 – $7500). The big questing is, are all these meetings being held worth more than $10,000 to the organization? Most meetings are not really worth the $7500 to $9000 they cost the company, so why are they still happening? There are many reasons, including:
- The monetary value is usually not calculated
- That’s the way they are used to doing things
- Lack of awareness that alternatives exist
So what can be done to help this issue?
- 1. Complete a cost/benefits analysis
Before a meeting is scheduled, it’s important to know if it’s worth disrupting everyone’s productivity. You need to know how much that meeting really costs, not just the obvious costs, but also the ones included in day to day operations.
- 2. Explore alternative to meetings
As you consider ways to share and gain information, you should explore alternatives. Are there ways to get the massage to your team without disrupting the flow of productivity? Could this information be relayed in and email? The 4-Sentence Email To Replace Meetings shows how efficiently an email can accomplish what we use meetings for.
- 3. Create an agenda
Once you schedule a meeting, decide exactly what you want to address and the succession of things from the introduction to the end. When you don’t know this information you are more prone to deviating into things unrelated to the meeting and transitioning from one point to the next takes longer. And don’t forget time for questions and discussion are a part of the agenda if they will be allowed in the meeting
- 4. Strategically invite participants
The more people you have in a meeting the longer it will last. One way to avoid too many people is to only invite people who need to be at the meeting. If the meeting is not relevant to some members of your team it’s a waste of their time to have them attend. It will also be a waste of everyone else’s time because they are likely to be less aware of some of the details the others already know and ask more questions.
- 5. Stick to the agenda
One of the main reasons that meetings run on longer than anticipated is deviation from the agenda. The purpose of the agenda is to guide the meeting. If you take the time to create an agenda and distribute it to invitees and give them the opportunity to submit input, then there is no reasons things should be coming up at the meeting. This includes the general input time. If you have 20 minutes set aside for input or discussion, that segment of the meeting should not last a whole hour.
Meetings do have a rightful place in the operation of every organization, but we need to be careful of over-using them. When you start having meetings too frequently, you diminish their effectiveness. You don’t want your team to just attend meetings because they were ordered. Meetings must be something that people attend because it was the most efficient method for the organization to communicate the particular agenda and they gain something from participating. If those two things are not present it may be more efficient to let your staff stay on task and earn money for the company.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Five Simple Tips to Improve Productivity
Have a plan. If you take the time to plan out what you need to accomplish during the day then you eliminate the time that will be spent figuring out what to do next when a task is completed. When you have your tasks outlined you can move about and skip around when necessary to improve productivity instead of sticking with a task when you are not producing results. Having a visual of the day ahead makes it more manageable. You don’t spend time worrying about what you need to get done and you gain motivation from seeing things crossed off your to-do list. A plan also helps when people stop by, because having a visual of what you have to accomplish also gives you an idea of how much time you can spare in chit chat or when during the day you may have time for the conversation you visitor wants to have.
Take Breaks. Being too focused is not always the most productive state to be in. Sometimes you need breaks to refresh and regroup. It’s helpful to plan a five minute break between meetings and tasks that way you have a little time for yourself- whether it is to run to the restroom or grab a glass of water that short break can be useful to help you make the transition from one task to the next. This is also a great time for catching up with others and maintaining your relationships around the office. A quick chat here a little joke there goes a long way.
We generally have more energy and enthusiasm at the start of the day or a project. Major breakthroughs and accomplishments can produce a similar level of energy and excitement, but not every task has such. By taking breaks, you allow yourself the opportunity to have a fresh start each time you return from a break newly energized.
Get Help. We all have our specialties as well as our weaker points. It’s important to know and use these to our benefits. Sometimes it’s best to delegate a task to someone else whose skills are better suited for it then our own. Spending 2 hours doing something that another member of your team can complete in 30 minutes is not an efficient way to use your time. If you have difficulty delegating, it’s always a good time learn. One slow way to start this process may be as simple as asking the other person to help you, that way the work is getting done in a timely manner and you are there to learn from them in order to improve your own skills. But you have to remember that to be both an effective and efficient leader, you have to be able to trust your team enough to delegate as needed. There will be times when you need someone to teach you a better way of doing thins, other times you may just need a few more hands or eyes to help you move faster, but sometimes you just need to let someone else take the reigns and know that there is a more productive use for your time and expertise.
Redefine “Open Door Policy”. In an effort to be accessible man people often lose the true meaning of an “open door policy” and allow that to impact their productivity. Each time someone comes to your office and stops you from doing what you were working on, they are interrupting the flow of your productivity. The same applies to answering the phone and responding to emails. During the times that you have set aside to complete specific tasks, you should treat them as you would appointments. Just as you do not stop a meeting because someone walked in you may need to apply that method to certain task-dedicated times. If someone walks in you can ask them to return in an hour when you will be done, or let a call go to voicemail and return the call after you complete a task. The constant email dings are one of the biggest detriments to productivity, because we feel the need to drop everything and attend to that that chime or vibration every time we hear it. An “open door policy” means that you are accessible and welcome members of your team to come to you with issues and concern. You can still maintain this open door if you set certain limits that allow you to use your time efficiently. Not everything is a crisis, but if you allow everything to be treated as such, you may find yourself in constant crisis mode with your deadlines or working later then you planned.
Personal Interaction. Quite often your work may depend on other people to do their parts, or sometimes it may be that they are helping you. While emails are an efficient method of relaying a message or request, they do not relay to warmth of a personal conversation. When you want something to be given priority, take the time to place a call to the other party or walk by their office, even if to follow up after you sent an email. When you make that personal connection it moves your request up on the priority list. Typing pleeeeease in an email is completely different from actually voicing it at someone’s desk. Just like a smiley face in an email does not hold a candle to a bright pearly white smile or handshake. As a leader you can and will be able to get people to do the things you want, but the human connection makes it faster and easier. And this is not just if you are the boss- This is even more effective when dealing with your colleagues and even bosses.
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
