MHAM 2- Depression- What You Should Know
When it comes to depression the first thing I want people to know is that it is not just feeling a little blue for a day. Depression is serious condition that the CDC reports affects 10% of adults in the US every year and costs American employers 16 Billion dollars every year in lost work production.
The word depression gets thrown around when a person appears a little sad or others don’t know how to interpret the behaviors they see. Depression is actually a combination of a number of symptoms which for the most part lasted at least 2 weeks. There are two symptoms that are common in depression diagnoses. For a person to be diagnosed with depression they must either have
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Little interest or pleasure in doing things- including the things that they have or generally enjoyed participating in
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Feeling down, depressed mood or feelings of hopelessness.
In addition to one of these two people with depression also experience difficulty sleeping, lack of energy or tired feeling, feeling bad about themselves, trouble concentrating, doing thing (including moving or speaking) noticeably slower or are more fidgety and restless than, have thoughts of hurting themselves or think they’d be better off dead. –People who are clinically depressed would most likely have at least 5 of these symptoms.
Depression is often referred to as anger that is directed inwards. There is frequently an event that preceded the onset of depression. Something that occurred which brought on the feelings of sadness or anger that have grown over time. It’s that feeling of seeing something happening a feeling powerless to change it. It’s not that the person really does is powerless to effect, rather it is the feeling or perception of it being so.
Depression is progressive- What can start as a few days of the blues can progress into something more severe if it goes unaddressed for too long. If you notice yourself or someone you know having some of these symptoms- start early to figure out what is causing them and devise a plan for addressing it. Anyone can get a couple days of the gloomies, but depression is an opportunistic illness. When it is given the chance to grow and take over, it will. That’s how felling a little sad over an important loss can turn into months of self blaming depression. The moment you notice it, start tackling.
Depression can happen to anyone and more importantly it can be resolved. It’s not something that happens to certain people, it’s something that happens to any person. Yes, people can take steps to increase resilience and better develop their coping skills to reduce the risk of falling into a full blown diagnosable depression. In order to do that, that has to first be the acknowledgement that depression exists and no one is immune. A history of depressive diagnoses in the immediate family does add an increased susceptibility. What this really means is that you need to be more vigilant and focus strengthening and utilizing your coping skills.
Depression has no real demographic criteria. Everyone is fair game. That’s why we should all check our selves when we notice symptoms and not mislead ourselves in thinking that we’re not the type of people who get this.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
Addressing Tragedy With Children
When tragedy occurs, children need be reassured and provided that feeling of safety again. Comfort & reassure them. Get assistance when necessary. Be careful what “other” messages you are sending them. In childhood, children are prepared to deal with stress as adults.
Investing Vs. Playing Funder
As you seek to grow whether personally or professionally, there will be continuous “opportunities” presented that are supposed to help you. The issue there will be identifying which ones are right for you. When I first started my practice I joined a local Chamber of Commerce and attended a number of networking events only to discover it was certainly nothing like what I expected. Eventually I assessed that I was investing resources as was conventionally expected as opposed to what was appropriate for my needs. There were a few things that I did not consider, including:
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What are my expectations of this investment? When I joined the chamber I expected to meet other business owners, but I didn’t consider whom and how I wanted that would to impact my practice. Had I done a thorough assessment, I would have noticed that the benefits that the chamber had to offer would not yield the results that I needed at the time, which was increasing clientele.
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What do the benefits being offered mean to you? When these opportunities are being presented, the seller’s main goal is to get you to buy. Whether or not you will get results is not necessarily. They need to convince you that their product is THE resource that you have been lacking and that when you get it everything will change.
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Be wary of the name dropping. One of the most amusing parts of the sales pitch to me is the naming of who have used the service or are members of the organization being pitched. The question you should be asking yourself at that point is “How will that impact you?” Even if Oprah is a member of a group, that’s not enough reason to invest in that organization unless you had a prior need to meet her. And even if so, you’ll have to also assess the likelihood that becoming a member too means you are likely to meet.
Investments of every kind should be made with a purpose. Whether you are looking at your time, money or other resource, you have to make sure that you are going to get the results that you seek. Once you’ve invested there is usually no undo button so know what you are getting ahead of time. If the seller is not able to tell you what they are offering specific to you then you should also be thinking that through. You and your ventures are not going to be the same as everyone else- for example, someone who sells tangible will not get same results that one who is providing a service. That is why service providers need to be especially careful with the investments they are making.
If you can’t get your investment to make sense for your needs then you are simply playing funder to the seller’s goals. If that is your goal then that is fine. Sometimes you do chose to help another person out and expect nothing in return. You just need to be able to clearly understand the difference and make the choice of which one you are looking to accomplish. A deployment of resources is only an investment if after you put in your resources you can get results you seek. Yes there are bad investments where something goes wrong and things don’t go as planned. But that should be the anomaly. If you are putting in your valuable resources the expectation should that things will work the way you want. When the likelihood is that they might work out if you get luck that’s not an investment that is playing investor to someone else’s goal. Because they will get their results and you are left with the hoping and wishing.
After writing this I was posting it and got an invitation to apply for a free network. Cool right? So I applied and got an email that that and a Membership Coordinator would be contacting me- That sounded less free. When I spoke with the Membership Coordinator it was indeed… anything but free- Pretty close to $1000 not free. Still there were names of people who have been members but no way to know how this would help me. Just that it would be very helpful.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
What About Employer Loyalty?
There was a time when employee loyalty was expected. People went to school and then went off to work for an employer where they would stay through the duration of their working lives. Promotion within the organization was the only movement most people looked for. Now people are seeing more of a difference. It’s not that these organizational values didn’t exist in the days where you worked 50 years for a company and then got sent off with a gold watch. There is one thing that is missing from most employers’ benefits packages now- the pension plan that encouraged that employee loyalty. In addition to that, employees can be loyal to their employers, to find in many cases, that their loyalty is not reciprocated. So what’s the hold now?
Many people, especially those in the helping professions stay for loyalty to the clients, fear of going out and starting in a new environment, the comfort of complacency and numerous other reasons that do not provide opportunities for them.
Because so many organizations are more openly bottom line focus, one can’t hinge their future on an organization being there for them. Let’s face it, when it become more beneficial to the organization, every employee, no matter how valuable they seem at the moment is expandable. Loyalty to the organization is not necessarily going to advance your career any more than finding the right opportunity elsewhere. Passing up on other opportunities however will surely hold you back with no guarantee that another will be available when you are ready to take that leap.
Staying for the sake of clients as, noble as it may sound is also not a good enough reason either. Some professional relationships will have planned termination while others will mature to that point. Clients are supposed to grow and evolved, meaning that at some point the clients may no longer need your services and move on. In most cases, you will have new clients as other clients exit, so the idea that you don’t want to leave clients who are used to you will always be there. Unless you phase out your clientele until the last one exits- despite the financial changes that brings. So what do you do then?
You have to realize that no matter what your profession is there were multiple reasons that you entered the field. Working with your clients or projects was only a part of the reason you chose your career. There is the aspect of personal fulfillment, as well as the need for a career that will serve to meet other needs, such as financial. When you tie yourself to an organization for whatever reason other than your meeting needs, then you are denying yourself the opportunity to have your needs even more greatly met elsewhere.
As a therapist I encountered this issue in me as well as peers- When you get to that point where you are ready to move on the next step of your career or just away from your current position but you have clients who are making such great progress. You have to have to be able to make decisions based on a systems perspective. That was the reason on instituted Employer Performance Assessment that is completed at three, six and twelve months into a position and annually afterwards. Just like the employee assessments that are administered for the employer to determine if an employee should be retained, as the employee we are entitled to this same opportunity. Just as after employee evaluations sometimes there are performance improvements that the employee has to make to better meet organizational standards or expectations, I had the same requirement for my Employer Performance Assessment.
How did this work? Around the time of each assessment period, say around 90 at the beginning, I sat down and completed the assessment just like a supervisor does for employees. I was doing this based on my knowledge and experience with the organization in the time since the last assessment. Once the assessment was completed, I looked at any items that did not receive full marks to determine if there was a way to get to full marks within an acceptable period. Sometimes it was just things that I needed to or rework, and at times I needed to reach out to supervisors for assistance in making the desired changes.
In as much as you have obligations to yours employer, you should also have expectations them as well. Just as they would not keep you around when you are not meeting their standards, you also have that same option. Now this does not mean that you decide that the organization is not meeting your needs so you up and quit. What this means is that when you determine that your needs are not being met by your employers then you should be implementing a plan to get these needs met where with your current or a new employer…
We invest too much of ourselves in our work for it to be anything but satisfying. You spend about half, sometimes more of your waking hours at work or doing something related to work. Leisure time and activities have to be scheduled around work. So it you are investing so much of you in something then it should be satisfying in every way that you desire. When that fair exchange is not happening then you owe it to yourself and the clients that you serve to make a change happen. Otherwise your investment in the services you provide can suffer thus affecting your clients.
There many reasons to stay but often the ultimate question is- does the position continue to meet the needs that you wanted met when you accepted your position and when you entered your field. If the answer to either question is no then you should be looking for opportunities that will allow you to answer yes to both.
Does your World Enhancer Know?
Sometimes we have people in our lives who just make it feel like a better place. A more enjoyable place to be. It’s not that you did not have a fulfilling life before, it’s that they enhance the greatness that once was your life. Somewhere along the way, many of us have been told that we should not fully appreciate that.
I recall being on the receiving side of that conversation a friend advised me “you can’t let him know that”. I remember what went through my mind when she said “you never tell a man that stuff”. There was a bit of confusion there—The difference between someone who is your World Enhancer and the one who is your world. When someone is your world, you can feel that there is no life without that person. When the person is your World Enhancer you know there is life away from them. They even help you see how great life is independent of them. But you also know that no matter how great life is without them, it is even better with them. The air seems sweeter, music sounds nicer, the sun is warmer and the ocean is bluer. Why would it be such a bad thing that someone knows that they do this for you?
Many people struggle with this, especially the “independent woman”. The truth is, there is nothing wrong with someone being your World Enhancer. It takes nothing away from you, yet adds so much. You may not need them to meet your basic needs, but you know they play an important role in your life and that should be both welcomed and appreciated. If he makes you feel on top of the world- Tell him. He just may d it more often just because he knows you like it. Your world enhancer will not abuse that knowledge but will instead keep it as a reminder of a standard and appreciate the privilege. If you cannot trust them to do that, then you are not dealing with a World Enhancer. It’s up to you what your next decision will be, but you should know the difference.
You’re not looking for someone to be your world. If you find yourself in a relationship where the other person is your world, then you do have some personal work to do. A situation like that is not only dangerous for you; it’s also putting a great deal of undue pressure on the other person. You cannot make someone else completely responsible for greatness and joy in your life, but there are those that you can trust to maximize what you have cultivated.
Your World Enhancer, though is completely different- That is someone you don’t just need to keep around. That is someone that you need to encourage to continue be just that that—the one who enhances every great moment just by being. We should never miss the opportunity to tell them how much we appreciate their role in our lives. So today, take a moment to appreciate your World Enhancer. Let her/him know how they make your world so much better.
Who’s your World Enhancer? Does he/she know? J
Broaden Your Sphere Of Influence One Small Act For One Individual At A Time
In his book Turning Stones, Mark Parent shares the story of a child who while walking on the beach, would pick up snails she found along the way and throw them back into the ocean. When grandma pointed out that there are so many little critters that have washed up along so many miles of shore and that throwing a few of them back really will not make a difference, the child’s response was “it makes a difference to this one” as she threw in the latest rescue.
That child realized something that many adults have forgotten- Every action makes a difference. We hear the words so often but don’t really put them into action. As the holiday season is in full bloom, stores are packed and traffic backed up it’s important to remember those words. When your place of worship needs volunteers and your schedule won’t allow you the four hours, the one hour you have can make a difference. When your local soup kitchen is making a plea for donations and you can’t afford a large cash donation, giving a few extra cans from your pantry will make a difference. It’s true that donating a box of pasta will not feed the hundreds of people in the community who are hungry, but it will make a great difference for the one family who eats because of that donation.
We sometimes spend so much time trying to save the world that we forget to help the individual next to us who is calling out for help. While things done for the masses may bring a brief moment of acknowledgement and accolades, the small gesture expended to an individual earns a deeper sense of gratitude. Public accolades may fade away, but the gratitude of the individual will not only last, it will multiply. When the individual remembers the kindness of a stranger, friend or loved one, and repays it with kindness toward another. Instead of creating one big moment that may or may not last, you inspire a cycle of influence that continues to multiply.
This same method applies in business.Although every small business owner (myself included) would love to land that one big client who catapults your business into arenas you could not imagine, taking time out to provide the super star treatment to every small deal, every sale, can have similar impact. When you provide your clients with service that are above and beyond what they expected and the competition offers, your clients can share their experience with others, thus creating a snow ball effect. The more great things you do, the more you are talked about. You may not get the one client who alone can sustain your business, but the many satisfied customers can together have the same impact as they bring others along with them.
When you are looking to widen you sphere of influence, place less emphasis on how many you can impact in one act and focus more on how deeply you can impact individuals. Individuals are the ones who will spread your message. They are the ones who will remember and act from their hearts. Individuals will carry out your message both through words and action, and they have the ability to influence others to join them. In this fad chasing world, we must always remember to focus on people, because when the hoopla dies down the people who have been personally affected will still remember. Be memorable to one, inspire one, and your reach will go beyond your imagination.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
They Know They Want You! –3 Steps To Being The No-Brainer
Whether it’s a job interview or meeting with a potential client, it should go without saying that you need to know your stuff. That is expected, and failure to deliver on that is both a waste of your time and an insult to the person you are meeting with. So when you know that everyone else is going to come in prepared, the key to being the one lies in your ability to stand out from the group.
Think outside the box. You know that, but it just so happens that so do your competitors. While everyone else may be trying to think outside the box, not everyone has the same strengths and expertise. Play to your greater strengths. Focus on what you can do, that hasn’t been done before that will not only meet the needs of the client or organization, but surpass expectations. This way you are offering something that is beyond great and can best be delivered by you. It’s not just – This is how you can make money- It’s more of a –These as the benefits that come in the package with me. In order to get these great benefits they want, they have to first bring you on board. This is something that should be done for every interview or presentation to meet the different needs. What you offer each client should be uniquely tailored to their individual needs. That’s why you can’t take the same presentation of every client or send the same exact resume to every job opening.
Expand your comfort zone. Everyone talks about stepping out of your comfort zone. That is a great exercise, but it’s not enough. Going out of your comfort zone is something that is easy to do when you are relaxed and comfortable, but not as much when you are on the spot and the pressure is on. These situations breed nervousness in the most confident people, and nervousness pushes people to retreat to what they find comfortable. If you are soft spoken, practicing to speak up before an interview is not enough. Instead, you need to learn to express yourself in a way that gets your message across through your soft voice. You may practice speaking up with your friends, but when comfort gets replaced by nerves so will your louder commanding voice be replaced by that squeaky mouse you thought you put out. What you already know however, you will know no matter how much pressure you’re under. As a long term goal however you will want to work on being more expressive because that is a demand of your field. You can do the exercises and practice with others as the new way becomes entrenched in how you operate. The goal is to become so naturally expressive that you don’t need to think about it before a big meeting, but until you reach that point you still know how to make your point from where you stand. Over time, you will develop 2 new tools- You will learn how to convey your message within your original comfort zone, but you’ll also become more expressive and have a more effective way of doing the same job that may eventually become most comfortable.
Conduct the energy. When the cards appear to be held by the other person(s), one of the best ways to level the field is to control the energy. Get them feeling the way you want tem to. When you want people to be excited about you and what you are talking about, you have to set the example and tone. A smile is the quickest way to start changing energy. When you do something with a smile, including speak or make a presentation, is changes the intonation in your voice. When your voice has that has a tone of joy, the listener hears it and responds to it even if subconsciously. They reflect that tone which will in turn increase your energy. It becomes like a game of energy catch, except that the ball of energy gets bigger each time it is caught. It works the same way with negative energy too, so be careful what energies you are putting out there. When you get your audience to feel the way you want them to feel, then you are in a better position to entice them to make the decisions that you want. While a stern super serious look from your audience can shock your nerves and cause you to stumble, a smile from you can encourage the more relaxed recipient to appear instead. In order to do that, your smile will have to outlast any frown in the room. Thankfully, smiles are more catchy 🙂
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Others’ blindness shouldn’t affect your vision
When you do things that are different from others it is not uncommon to hear criticism. That’s perfectly fine. Just because others cannot see your vision does not mean you need to allow them to cloud you’re your site of it. I certainly have a few should be insults that I proudly don as a badge of honor. I’m “cheap” because my purchases must both make sense to me and fit in my budget. I’m “boring” when I choose to stay in to get my work done when I need to. Other people will throw words around all the times, sometimes maliciously, and other times just because they don’t know better. What really matters is not the words that are said or the speaker’s intent- It’s your acceptance.
You can always rely a confused look when you thank someone for something that was not intended to be a compliment. When someone calls you a nerd, that is confirmation that you are knowledgeable and knowledge seeking. That is an indication that you placed learning above what the person wanted you to value. When your “friend” tells you how cheap you are, it’s validation of your efforts to place your financial future over the frivolous spending they wanted company in. For these reasons you should thank the people who are pointing out that you are succeeding in your endeavors. Reminding you that you are staying on your track.
As long as you continue on your journey toward improvement or maintaining a level of success you have attained, there will be others who don’t understand the journey or its purpose. They will not place the same value on your efforts, because in addition to not joining in their in indulgences, you may be making them think about what they are doing. If they can get you to join in, they get confirmation that they are right and don’t have to think about it.
One of my favorite parts in the movie Pursuit of Happyness was when Mr. Garner spoke with his son at the basketball court. “You got a dream, you gotta protect it… You want something, you go get it. Period.” Those words are important to remember when undertaking a journey that is different from what everyone else is doing. There will always be someone who does not get it. But instead of telling you that hey don’t get it, they will try to make you feel like you lost your marbles for thinking so big. I mean can you imagine what people said when those crazy Wright brothers talked about putting a mechanical bird in the air? —Ya’ll boys better go satdown somewhere. Today everyone is talking about diversification, and multiple streams of income, but when George Washington Carver was first trying to educate people on that while the industry was trying to figure out how to get cotton back, someone certainly told him where to go with his peanuts and that alternative crops mambo jumbo. The inventions of these men our integral parts of our society now.
Other people not getting the vision is not a sign that you are wrong. It’s confirmation that you are on to something new. Something BIG! As they attempt to qualify you for your own dream (you don’t have …, you don’t know… you didn’t even…), they are also reminding you of what you’ve had to overcome to conceive this great dream of yours. “Really? How you gon’ be a business owner and didn’t even graduate high school?” That simply means that you can see far beyond the limitations they impose as what someone who did not graduate high school can do. Knowing that you are such the visionary shall be your motivation to put together actionable plans to realize your vision. Can you imagine if President Obama told the cashier taking his mother’s food stamp that he was going to be President Of The United States? In the words of Mays Gilliam: “which United States?” When others can’t see your vision, don’t allow their blindness to cloud your own vision. Instead, see it for them too. Visualize it. Actualize it. See yourself right! Make your vision so clear that if you read your action plan in reverse it looks like the steps for deconstructing your final product. Whether your goal is financial, professional, educational or anything else you could want, always keep an eye on the prize and the other on the action plan you are following.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Thoughts Dictate Actions- Only Action Can Produce Change
These days we hear a lot about changing mindsets, shifting thoughts and the many other ways that it’s said. The conversation needs to continue beyond though and into action. I am a strong proponent of changing one’s thoughts in order to make life changes. I am a Cognitive Behavior Therapist through and through. The thing about Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is that while it starts with thoughts, its power is in the action. Changing one’s thoughts is supposed to help or at least ease the changes in behavior. It seems that there is a great deal of emphasis that is being placed on the cognitive part that is not matching with the behavior portion. It’s not just about thinking that “yes I can get the job” it’s having the mindset and following it up with actions. I have heard Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich as well as Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad quoted out of context too many times. While both books may speak about a mindset, the behavior aspect of these lessons should not be missed. You can’t just think a million dollars into your account without first taking the steps that can generate a million dollars. Even lottery winners had to at least get the ticket.
I still remember my professor repeating “stop that stinkin’ thinkin’” which he drilled into us. The reason this change is needed is that the way we think determines how we behave. If the thinking is positive, the behaviors that follow will be positive. That will in turn produce more positive feelings and thoughts. Of course, that means that the reverse is just as true. Negative thoughts nurture negative feelings and the resulting behavior is just as negative and continues the cycle. Thankfully, it only takes one change in the pattern to break the cycle.
Following through is one of the more difficult parts of this whole thing. When making changes toward positive outcomes, the change may be slower in coming, thereby making it more difficult to notice. When things are already negative, it is easier to notice that they have not changed because there is already so much of it covering up what positive changes may have occurred.
So how do you change this?
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Switch your mindset. Stop that stinkin’ thinkin’. Think more in terms of the outcome that you are looking for. While culturally we may be programmed to think of the many things that could go wrong, we have to change that to focusing on the many ways that things can go right. It’s not about taking pointless risks, like getting on a bike without a helmet because many accidents don’t result in head trauma. Rather it’s putting on your safety gear and then jumping on the bike because you’ve always wanted to ride, and knowing that when you follow certain safety precautions you can learn to ride and not get hurt, as opposed to not getting on the bike because people have had accidents. When you switch your mindset you are not necessarily oblivious to the fact that bad things can happen, you are just more focused to the positive things that you can make happen and taking the steps to bring them about. Instead of cowering in fear, you step out on faith.
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Analyze the behaviors that you have engaged in the past as well as the behaviors of those who have achieved the goal that you want to achieve. You’re not looking to copy; you just need to understand the difference. Then you can move on to an assessment of your own resources to determine what you have or will need in order to change the behaviors that have held you back in the past. Of course you already know that the next step will be finding ways to tackle them.
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Visualize yourself engaging in these behaviors. Whether it’s personal financial, professional or whatever- Visualize yourself taking the steps that are necessary and having the outcome you desire. If you can visualize yourself meeting your targets at work and getting the promotion, then your body feels safe engaging in the behavior and reaching for that outcome. Let’s face it, change is scary. If you can visualize making changes and getting the results, then you are giving yourself permission to go after them, because in your mind’s eye you have seen the positive outcome that can be reached. Once you’ve experience the feeling of being in your new home, it makes it easier to not whip out our credit card when you see those new shoes.
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Energize your actions. Don’t just go in with the hopes of it working. Go in knowing that this is what will work. If you’ve taken the time to do your research and preparations and discovered the tools that can work, then take ownership. Know that if you do your part certain things will happen as a result. Just as you know that if you poor water on paper it gets wet, know that when you study you will learn. If occupy your mind with hopping that you learn, then you are using mental energy that can be going towards your learning to entertain the potential of a negative outcome. You’re using learning space to store your fear of not learning. How much sense does that make? Take every step expecting it to yield the positive result that it should. If you are thinking that way, your body has way of taking the steps necessary to ensure success.
Remember, if it’s worth having, it’s probably not easy to get. That is one of the ways the value of our goals are increased. The more valuable your prize, the more difficulty you may encounter in getting it. This also means that the more difficulty you encounter on the journey to reaching your goal, the more rewarding the prize will be when you do get it.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
http://www.drjudic.com/
Three (3) Steps for Fighting Autumn Gloom
At this point summer seems more like a distant memory as we fall into autumn. I love New England Autumns. Leaves changing color then falling and a gazillion and a half activities to get into. In South Florida it’s a lot different. Rain, rain, rain and then more rain. That’s what we’ve had these recent weeks. When the sun doesn’t seem to shine as long and the days a dark and dreary, it can get difficult to get up and be motivated to stay on target. Here are a few tools that can help.
Start your day powerfully. Make everything that you do in the morning have a purpose that contributes to what you want to achieve. Whether you are following steps on a routine job, are in a position that requires you to be self-directed, or worse –> you are self employed, your every step in the morning need to matter. From the music that you wake up to, to the breakfast that you eat. This is a great time to get some of the fresh fruits and veggies that are still out and freeze them so that deep into the winter you can still have these bright colorful meals. And the music needs to be upbeat- the more of the words you know the better. Sing along no matter how bad you think your voice is. Set your music to start your chosen playlist at your rising time, and set the volume loud enough to invigorate and so you can hear in your room, bathroom, and kitchen(without disrupting neighbors). This may mean that you have to take it with you as you change rooms. I love my carnival, and some good African music when I need wake, but there are also some great gospel praise songs that do the job. As long as you’re dancing a little by the time you’re done getting ready.
Dress the part. When the days seem gloomy, the tendency is to throw something on and go. If you look at fall colors, they are the darker colors. They may be wholesome and go with the season, but they don’t inspire. So your first step is to add a splash of color. Whether it’s shoes, shirt, tie, belt, something you wear needs to have nice bright colors. Dress in power attire. We all know about the power suits that are worn to interviews or when going in to land a big time client. That power suit makes you feel and act different. Stronger, more powerful, more confident, ready to scale any mountain. Not everyday is a suit day, so instead of wearing a power suit everyday for a month, you can wear articles of clothing that together give the same results. The important thing is that you dress like you have an important job that you need to complete. Even if you are working from home, get dressed and walk to your desk like you were going to the office and there’s a chance organizational leaders will be in the building. When you look like you have an important job to do, your mind will work it out with your body and they’ll work together to keep you in work mode.
Keep a tight schedule- No idle hands. Nothing makes you more tire than doing nothing. Whether your day is overwhelmingly packed or you are just not in the mood for work, when you are not actively engaged in work, you have time to think and realize how much you don’t feel like working. The solution is to have a plan. If you have an outline of tasks and the schedule for completing them you can move in a more regimented fashion. When you are busy and more importantly productive, you don’t have time to worry about gloomy days as you are more focused on getting things done. Schedule breaks so that you can relax and refuel, and do something with your break time. Whether you go out and chit chat or go for get some gloomy fresh air, step out of work mode, with a scheduled time to return. Set your alarm to remind you when break is over. Avoid idle times. Eliminate the gaps where you have nothing to do or are trying to figure out where to go next, because those are the moments that can suck you back into non-productive mode. If you find a gap that was not scheduled, use it productively, respond to emails, voice messages or even begin your to create your agenda for the next day.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Testimonial? Yes, please! When Your Best Marketing Tool is Confidential
One of the best marketing tools of small businesses is the feedback from previous clients. Especially when providing services, your clients’ results are your greatest assets. When these assets are confidential it makes it difficult to promote your services based on success rates. But hey difficult does not mean impossible. There are a few things that you can do to get word out without breaching confidentiality. You can always aggregate numbers and provide percentages but that only goes so far. People like to hear from and about people; not numbers.
The first and easiest tool that I am certainly guilty of failing to use in getting testimonials. After you have provided services to your clients it’s ok to let them know that testimonials are valuable to your business. It’s ok to ask them, as long as it is not made to sound like an obligatory demand. One of the best entrées to the conversation is when they thank you for your service. Satisfied clients have a tendency to extend the invitation to reach out if they can assist you in the future; this is the perfect time to remind them that you would appreciate a testimonial or make a request that pass along your information to others that can use it. As you prepare to make your request remember the following:
Make it a serious request: When they are not comfortable making a request, people tend to use crutches, like asking jokingly. It’s not a joke and it’s not something that is done in passing where the client misses your request. You value your client’s feedback and the time they would take to provide you with a testimonial. That should be reflected in your request.
Avoid ambivalent requests: In order to avoid seeming pushy you may make your request in a way that leaves the client wondering if you were serious. You want the client to be clear that you meant to ask, and that they have a choice as to whether or not they fulfill your request.
Jump on offers for testimonials: You already know that’s the first one. Even a client who far beyond satisfied does not always offer a testimonial. On a rare occasion I’ve had clients who have seen others on my site offer to write one. When a client offers “Yes. Thanks” should be your first response. Make sure the client knows that you are both interested and appreciative of their offer.
Avoid Paying for testimonials: A testimonial that you pay for is a service that you are buying. Does not assure your potential clients of your skills. If you offer to pay a client for testimonials it devalues the other ones you have obtained. The client is thinking that if you pay him, you’ve paid others. [Maybe you’re not that great and they just lucked out.]
At the end of the day, your work matters and you are making a difference for your clients. The best way for potential clients to know, is to hear (read) it from previous clients. Don’t be afraid to ask, as long as your clients know that they can decline.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Whats Your Hang-Up? Three (3) Steps to Conquering Self-Sabotage
There are many things that we should do, must achieve, ought to complete… The truth is that if desire is a missing element in that journey, you may encounter difficulty making progress. Forcing yourself to do something you don’t want to do is about as effective as making teenagers do something they don’t want to do. This is still not a reason to just pack up and walk away, because even the things you don’t wan to do can have immeasurable value toward other things that you want. What you need to figure out is if you will get something that could make you want to go even things you did not want at first.
You’ve taken the first step of setting the goal but can’t seem to move past to move forward. If every time you set out to take the next step you find a thousand ways to be distracted and procrastinate, then something is wrong. When you find yourself in a cycle of no results take out a piece of paper to answer the following questions. While you can easily complete this exercise on a compute or tablet, it is best to use pen and paper because there is no delete there. You can keep a running tab or your thoughts no matter how many times you change direction.
1. What my hang-up?
Something is obviously holding you back and it often is beyond the scope of just doing the work. This could be the result of many things ranging from fear of failing, fear of judgment from others, or just a lack of gain- The carrot is not big enough. Not moving forward is safety net. You may make excuses such as not knowing what you’re doing or what to do. What it really boils down to is this: As long as you don’t go ahead all those things that you may fear or worry about will not happen. The draw back is that all those things that you hope and wish for also will not happen. Take the time to figure out what it is that you are attempting to avoid by not following through to the finish line.
2. What’s my prize?
The best case scenario is what you ultimately would like to result from your investment. While your hang-up is focused on all the possible negative outcomes, the prize is about the positives that you seek. Your pie in the sky. What makes the journey worth starting? Answer this honestly. What will happen if you follow through with this journey? What will you be getting out of it? If it’s something you are doing to get money, how much will you get and what will that meant to you? Not all prizes are monetary so dig deep to uncover what you stand to gain and what that really means to you. Once you know what the prize is, you also have to decide if it’s something you can handle. You need to be able to picture yourself 30 pounds lighter or moving upward in your career so that you can determine if this would really make a difference in your life.
3. Is the potential gain worth the potential risk?
Once you’ve answer the first two questions, then you get to pick one. There is no right or wrong selection. If you decide that the risks are too great to be worthy of the prize that’s just fine. This decision will free you from wasting time avoiding something you don’t really want: A prize that does not hold enough value for you. If you decide that the reward is worth the risk then that is just as great. Once you know what you stand to gain and that the potential of getting the reward outweighs the risks, you are no longer being held back by the risks. At that point it is no longer about the task as the focus shifts to the prize. Instead of avoidant procrastination you can spend your time in pursuit of your goal.
Use visualizations to get you in the winning moment. As much as you can, be concrete– Use vision boards and affirmations to remind you of what you are working toward. These tools will be useful, especially when your hang-up tries to rear its ugly head again. You can do anything as long as you want it enough.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Hateration Fuels Your Fire But You Decide Which Fire
There are many things in the world that can be used for tremendous good or evil equally. Take Chemistry for instance- with the right mix lives can be saved, while through another just as many can be destroyed. Geometry and physics can be applied to build or demolish spectacular structures. Hateration is another force that is dually powerful. It can fuel your way to success or fuel the fires of negativity incinerate your dreams.
Hateration takes the form and strength that the individual allows it to. If you decide to give in and let it win, it will take over. It can consume you and lead you to spend so much time worrying about the negatives and not enough working toward positives. It can lead you to be so blinded by obstacles that you can’t see the solutions that stare in your face. But most of all if it is allowed to, Hateration can cause you to please your haters and prove them right, by doing what they wanted you to do and failing where they predicted you would.
Hateration is like fuel that is being added to the fire. If the fire burning within you is that of doubt and discouragement, then that it will magnify them. But if you are burning with a passion for success, a strong commitment to achieve your goals, adding fuel to that fire can propel you to the next level. The criticisms of others will make you work that much harder. For every person who said you cannot do what you set out to, you will work a few more hours to make sure that you do. Each time you hear that it’s impossible you will do more research to discover how it is possible. When you use the discouragement of others as a reminder of your pioneering potential, you can’t help but push further.
In this case, hateration would be the fuel that moves you further. It’s not that you could not get there without, but since it’s there, instead of wasting your energy working to remove it, you use the energy that it can provide you. It is a great tool for those who know how to harness its energy.
The power of hateration is in what it leads you to do, and every time you use it to move closer to your goals- YOU WIN. There is saying that “behind every successful person there is a group of haters”. We hope that is not true, but is it is something that only the haters change. An individual working towards goals cannot afford the time that it takes to appease this group. That time is much better spent garnering more supporters through good work and dedication to your goals and the things that really matter.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Beware of Good Intentions in Your Way
Sometimes people genuinely do want to help, but not everyone’s method of helping is what you actually need. When people don’t know or just can’t see your vision it can be difficult for them to advise you. This is another place where having your road map comes in handy.
Have a plan. The old adage “if you don’t stand for something, you’ll for anything” is never more true than when you are working toward a goal. This is one place where people get easily side tracked. Generally, everyone is sharing their recommendations because they want to see you succeed. But their ideas of what it takes are not always what works for your destination. When you have a plan, you will know. You will also be able to decide when a recommendation would fit well within your plan and should be added or when to just pass.
Be appreciative. When the person’s intent is to help, it’s hard to just dismiss them. You also don’t want to just push them away because you want the sentiment, their caring enough to want to help, you want that to continue. Always thank them for the recommendation. Some times that the end of it. If there is a follow up you can politely tell them that their recommendation does not fit with your current plan and what you are working to achieve. To take it a step further, you could even share with them where you are going and what you are looking for that way if they come across the resources you need in the future they will recognize them as something potentially useful to you.
Seek clarification. Sometimes an idea may not show its potential at face value. They person who makes a recommendation may know what they mean, but their presentation may not convey the benefits to you. Be clear about what is being presented as well as how you intend to use it and the benefits there in, before you run with anything. Otherwise you could find yourself perpetually in a starting point.
Be knowledgeable. People will bring recommendations. They will come to you with their good intentions, but it will be up to you to be on top of your game. Arm yourself with knowledge so that you are able to decipher valuable advice from the ones that won’t help with your progress. Unless you know what you are after; what it takes to get it; paths that can lead to success as well as those that can lead you astray, then you may be susceptible to influences that are less than helpful.
So the next time someone offers you a suggestion know what to PACK– Plan- Appreciate- Clarify- Know.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
A 9/12 Challenge to America
Yesterday was September 11, 2011. One can hardly believe that it has been ten years since that dreadful day which started out so beautifully. Yes I remember that day; what I thought; how I felt; who I was with. Every little detail continues to stay with me.
I also remember the days after. The country came together. We were all part of one American family. Remember that commercial? “I’m an American!” What did that really mean? Ten Years ago we, as nation were brought to our knees. Whether to seek cover, wail in agony or pray, we came to our knees. Today as people wave signs and banners saying “We Remember” or “We Will Never Forget” it is obvious how much has been forgotten. The feeling of togetherness that Americans once shared is a distant memory. That neighborly feeling has gone away leaving in its place distrust and cattiness. Ten years of a “War on Terror” and Terror is winning. Terrorism breeds fear, hatred and distrust, the kind which we are surrounded by. Instead of working together for common success the focus is placed on working against an opponent. As both parties work to destroy the other the victor is actually an outside third party whose goal was to see the country brought down by the hands of its own citizens. What has happened in Vermont in the past few weeks is a prime example. The supposed leaders of a nation battle each other, pitting the people against sides all the while the people were left to suffer.
On this September day the challenge to all of us as nation is to be the America that we were on September 12, 2001. Be the America where we cared about our neighbors. When our leaders fail to set the example of caring let us be the ones who show them how it’s done. For a brief moment in 2001 we had defeated terrorism by uniting as a nation and not allowing the enemy to divide us as they wanted to. When we woke up on September 12, 2001 there was no racial or class separations. We were Americans. Today there’s not enough glue in the country to put all the subsections back together. We don’t need another 9/11 to remind us that we have enough enemies outside our borders and don’t need anymore amongst ourselves.
Instead of spending thousands erecting memorials honoring some of those who perished on that sad day, let us invest in caring for all the families that were left behind. Memorial ceremonies bring an opportunity for people to come honor those who did not make it. You’ll be hard pressed to find someone who’s dying wish was to have memorial ceremonies in their honor, most people who had time for a final wish wished for their loved ones to be taken care of. If we are to truly honor those who perished on 9/11, we need to start by honoring each other, the ones they left behind. It’s not about waving FDNY/NYPD banners. It’s taking the time to acknowledge local firefighter and police officers in our communities. They did not die on 9/11 they are still here serving our communities. The next time you or your neighbors are running out of a building, they are the ones who will be rushing in.
Remember to take care of each other today and every day. We must always remember that we are in this together. When we were attacked on 9/11 the enemy did care the color of the skin of their victims. They did not consider the bank account balances of those who would be hurt. There was only one factor that mattered- The likeliness that the targets carry a blue passport or were blue passport simpaticos. As they plan future assaults, that blue passport is all they will see. Our strongest weapon against any assault they can mount is community. Togetherness that will allow us to identify what is out of place. Togetherness that prevents them from openly hiding among us. And if they strike, togetherness that helps us rebuild.
If we truly want peace we must bring it.
Let There Be Peace On Earth And Let It Begin With ME
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Go Big or Go Home! Don’t Fear Investing In The Future
Investing is not a game for the weak. Whether you are playing with money or your future, getting the desired results take heart. It requires definiteness of purpose and commitment. This is not a time for “sorta, kinda, not really, maybe, a little bit”. While I can usually get a chuckle with that statement or some version of it; it is simply that- a cute response that commands at smile. When it comes time for getting results these statements or others like them have no place in the conversations. Attaining definite results require definite purpose and plans, neither of which can be fully implemented without an unwavering commitment to both.
Definite purpose and plan backed by the strength of commitment is what fuels the actions that produce results. The future cannot be left to chance. While some may say that they are leaving it in the hands of a higher power, failing to use the resources provided by this higher power is leaving it to chance. If we were to find one great commonality between prayers to God, harmonizing with the universe, the law of attraction, law of abundance or any other source that people rely on, it would be their requirements of the requester. Whether you are relying on God or other spirits of the universe to help in your endeavor they all require that you believe AND take actions toward the results you seek. There may be trials and getting through them is a requirement for getting to that desired.
Approaching goals with definite purpose and plan backed by the strength of commitment also provide the key to overcoming fear. Fear may not cease to exist, but this combination of resources will take over the responsibility of guiding your actions. When you don’t have that in place your actions can easily and will very likely be guided by fear. Fear-guided action is small, and generally lacks strength of purpose and definiteness. As a result, you may be moving, just not in a manner that will get you to where you want to be.
When it comes to your future, every day is Game 7. If you don’t give your all at every opportunity, you can miss your chance and have to sit out until next year. When your actions are guided by fear you can’t go big. You take smaller steps- if you even dare to step. If you are not willing to take the big steps that get you the big results then you just don’t get them.
Going BIG is not about taking frivolous uncalculated risks. It’s about being fully invested. Going BIG involves doing the preparatory work that gets you ready when the opportunity presents. It’s not about taking shots from across the court; rather it is getting all the resources together and getting the practice so that the players on your team have enough experience and understanding of these shots that they will be willing to take them before the buzzer. Taking big risk without preparation and research is simply careless. It’s the addition of those two components that gives validity to the risk.
If you want great rewards go for it! Be willing to out in the work. Do the research. Gather resources. Most importantly keep pushing forward no matter what. If you even come to a point when it seems that you have nothing left to give or that you just might not make it through to the end, remember these lyrics from one of my favorite Rodney Atkins songs.
If your going through hell
Keep on going, don’t slow down
If you’re scared don’t show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you’re thereYeah, If you’re going through hell
Keep on moving, face that fire
Walk right through it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you’re there
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Three (3) Crash & Burn Networking Fails to Avoid
Networking is a great tool. Whether you are a small business owner an executive or an employee seeking upward mobility. When done right, networking opens many doors, including some you may not have even known existed. Unfortunately while the value of networking is emphasized, its essence and even how it’s done are often neglected in the conversation. It is an art that is unsuccessfully attempted by many but those who get it right often reap immeasurable benefits. While many tell you what to do, here are three mistakes to avoid when you step out there.
The Business Card Ambush. When someone walks up to me shoves their card in my face and proceeds to spill out a list of what they do, I generally don’t hear. For starters, once you give me something to look at I start looking at it, and if you didn’t already have my attention now you are in a competition with it. When I go home and I’m entering info in my database, I won’t remember you, except maybe as “oh yeah, that lady/guy”.
Instead introduce yourself. Have a conversation with the person where both your professional information can be shared. I recently read a book by Earl Graves where he talks about finding common ground with the person on which to build relationships. I have always believed that and it was so refreshing to finally see someone say yes that’s right. These are the little things that makes the person remember you and build interest in you professionally. Whether we both used to hang at Cambridge Commons, just started golfing or remember that KFC on Park and Washington, it’s something that makes you stand out from the other 60 people in the room that day. I’m more likely to remember that person I shared even the scantiest bit of history with than the 3rd Realtor I met that day.
The Recruiter. The idea behind networking is building a team of professionals and resources. While many people do go to networking events looking to find new clients, people don’t go in looking to become clients. That was one of the main reasons that I stopped attending local networking events. It felt like every realtor, every financial planner, insurance agent… wanted me to become a client. Not only, that many of them already wanted me on their promotional team passing out business cards. I was taken aback the first time someone handed me 5 cards so I could share just 5 minutes (if not less) after we met, but I later realized that it was not so uncommon. I’ve never been in a rude enough mood to come out and ask but I’ve often wanted to say “Do you really expect me to walk around with a stack of everyone’s card to give out?”
Don’t push your services on me the day we meet. If we end up having a follow up meeting, don’t come in looking to review my retirement portfolio. I don’t know you like that and I’m not about to hand you my personal information. Whether you give me 10 cards of one, the chances are the same- I may stick one in my files. The other ones will surely find their way to the recycling bag because I can’t give you all that space. If someone says they already have a person who does this for them leave it there for now, because that either means they already have someone or are not interested in your service. Let the person know you and be comfortable enough that you become their expert in your area. One can never have too many experts in an area that they can get information from. In due time your skills and knowledge can make you The Guy. When someone sees you as the go to guy, they don’t just come to your for their needs, they send others who have the same. It does take time to cultivate these types of relationships, but they are more valuable than those walk-by carding that a lot of people do.
The Professional Rainbow. We’ve all met the individual who has 3 or 4 or more businesses and different unrelated products that they are selling and hands you a different card for each one. If there are 50 people in this room that I could potentially meet and get a card from it’s unfair for you to want me to take 3 or 4 from you. While having multiple streams of income can be a good thing, I don’t need to know about all six of your businesses in this 5 minute conversation. You end up on a whirlwind trying to monopolize the time trying to get everything in, and the other party has the trying task of attempting to keep up. And the cards! The cards! The cards! Handing someone a stack of cards, one for each of your businesses does not make the impression of someone who could be an expert in any of those things on these cards. But no worries, as I try to figure out which category to list you under my address book, I’ll probably get a call that sidetracks me from deciding.
This is where selective marketing strategies come in handy. In lieu of trying to sell all your products at once, promote one at a time. Although most Professional Rainbows I’ve met say that their “target market is everyone” you have to narrow that down. If everyone is your target market, you have no target market and need to look up the word target. Once you’ve identified target markets for each venture then you can match events and product so that you represent each business at the functions where it is most appropriate and more likely to get you the desired results or expose you to the people you need to meet for that business. If you really cannot narrow your ventures down to match business to event, do it by days. But what ever you do come to each event representing one venture and have ONE business card. It’s ok to introduce someone to just one of your businesses. If you do your networking right, as they get to know you, they will also learn about the other businesses too.
At the end of the day, networking will remain one of the most valuable tools available to you as you work your way up the ladder of success or grow your business, but you have to get it right. Do your research. Talk to people and if you must, take a course. Be sure to do your homework. You can’t expect to get the full benefits when you are not fully investing.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
What’s their opinion costing you?
Not long ago I found myself in a discussion with someone who was holding back from doing what she wanted for fear of what others may think. How many times have we all seen that? How many times have we DONE that? If you take some time to look around you’ll notice that not only are there people around you who are not pursuing their dreams and getting what they want from life, you may have at some point even been one of those. I know I have.
I talk a lot about my swimming adventures now, but two summers ago I would even look at water, so jumping in was definitely out of the question. Yes, I know I’m from an island. I could see the Atlantic from the front porch of my home in Haiti, but we don’t mess with water like that. Later on (late teens – early 20s) I did want to learn to swim, but the thought of how I would look a “grown woman” trying to swim did cross my mind. In fact so much that I delayed this pursuit a few times. The opportunity presented itself again a couple of years ago and I accepted a friend’s offer to teach me. One of my best decisions! I didn’t just find my new favorite form of complete workout; I also learned a potentially life-saving skill. I won’t lie, I’m still a Black woman and my hair plays a big part of deciding when and how often I swim, but everyday in the pool is a joy and a blessing.
My hang-ups about being a grown woman learning to swim may not have had great professional impacts, but still affected my life. The level of exercise I accomplish through an hour of swimming would take me a good two hours in the gym. A small but notable impact on my every day life. Unfortunately, for most people the impact is much greater. When you start thinking of people who are delaying going back to complete their schooling, making career moves that are not in line with what is expected of them. While delaying their personal advancements, they are frequently faced with a disgruntled existence. Some things may be going well, but that missing piece keeps the picture from being complete. Over time the void left by the missing piece seems to get bigger and the discontent that wraps around it has no choice but to grow along.
Earlier I watched a clip of a presentation by Abiola Abrams, where her message was “So What?” – encouraging her audience to stand up to their self-imposed limitations. That’s exactly what all of us need to learn to say about the opinions of others and the limitations we try to put on ourselves. These limitations give the individual permission to not do their best. The limitations become the crutches that justify not getting in the race even as the lone competitor.
The limitations that you place on yourself or allow others to place on you in the end are costing you a great deal, but having little if any effect on the external limiters. In most cases the individuals whose opinions you are concerned with are too busy focusing on their own issues to even have an opinion on what you are or aren’t doing. In the rare case that others are taking the time to form an opinion, your thought should be more on what part of their own growth are they neglecting to make time to criticize you?
You can’t waste your time worrying about people who are too busy getting their house in order to even be concerned with you. As you cower away, shielding yourself from their judgment, they will be more than occupied with experiencing their own growth, enjoying their own successes and living a life that you can now only wish for from your little corner of fear. These are not the type of people whose opinion you need to worry about, instead they are the people who you can take a hint from. Seeing how they go for their goals should be a source of inspiration not intimidation. They may be facing the same limitations you are, but having chosen to succeed they could not be bothered with limitations. Instead of worrying what they would think of you, focus on how you can get their help on your own journey. They may be too busy to judge you but they could still make time to help you. Quite often, learning from them does not even require more than observing their normal behaviors, which speak volumes.
And you should certainly not waste your time on those you fill their time in judgment of those working toward personal growth and achievement instead of doing the same. Chances are, if they were not just as concerned of what others may think of them, they would probably be out there making the same efforts as you. Once you have taken the first step of getting started, you are already ahead of them.
Like the lyrics from that old song say “haters gonna hate ballers gonna ball”. While all that is happening it will be up to you to decide where you fit in the picture. You can sit back and avoid having people judge you for daring to expand your horizons. At the end of the day you will be right where you started with them. You also always have the option of taking that leap and giving it your all. But at the end of that day even if you’ve not yet arrived, you will certainly be closer to your goal and probably a comfortable distance ahead of those who were too busy judging you to get started themselves.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Reality Is The Product Of Investment In Dreams
Reality is not the absence of dreams. Rather it is a place where dreams can come to fruition. Have you ever heard people say that someone is living in a “dream world”? Maybe it was said about you. They say it like it’s something bad. Like you need to step out of your thoughts and your dreams and join the rest of the world in reality. But what they fail to realize is that this reality that they speak of all started with a dream. Next time you get in your car for that 2 minute drive to wherever, think of how long a walk it would have been if the dream of creating a motorized vehicle was abandoned to embrace the current reality.
Where you are today is simply an indication of where you are today and has no bearing of where you can and will be tomorrow. Your future is dictated by what your desires, your thoughts, your beliefs and willingness to take the steps necessary to get you there. It is always so frustrating to hear people place limitations on children and act them based on those limitations. Who are we to limit the future of an individual? Thinking big is not just a saying that children should hear in school, but instead it is a way of life that should be nurtured and encouraged in people of every age.
Where our society goes wrong is in not wanting to people, especially children to set themselves up for disappointment by reaching for the unattainable: a desire to provide the shelter from the negative. There are a just a few things wrong with that, including that nothing is really unattainable to the person who is determined. Instead of sheltering from disappointment, why not prevent it by realizing the dream.
If we were to survey teenage boys, we would probably find that half of them aspire to be an athlete or artist of some sort. But if we really dug deeper we would find that the desire is not so much the position as it is what they associate with it. They want what those people have. But if we take the time to really explore the dreams, the passion, we would find that there are other talents that they have that can be nurtured to help them find the success they desire. Instead of discouraging them from pursuing these dreams, we need to help them clarify what it is that they are truly after and then identify the resources they possess or need to acquire to realize these dreams. While we’re at it- we can get quite a few adults on that path too.
As with any investment, the more diligent investor tends to have a better shot. Yes, there are times that external factors can affect the returns, but more often then not, having a clear desire that is purposefully and resolutely pursued wins out. Taking the time to acquire the resources and being prepared to take the steps toward the dream no matter what should not be underestimated. The diligent investor will give their investments time to mature and know that there may be low points and that they need to stick around and ride those out no matter what, until better days come back around. Having this same attitude with one’s dreams would yield similar results. Taking the time to get the information that is needed and than being fully dedicated to implementing that knowledge can make the difference between immeasurable success or lack there of.
Whether for adults or children, it’s not about living in “the real world” or facing reality because this “real world” or reality is ever changing. More importantly each individual has the opportunity to guide the direction of that change. We may not always be able to get things to move where we want when we want just by snapping a finger, but through conscious and diligent investment in the future, big differences can be made. So next time the 15 year-old says he wants to be a football player, don’t just shut him down. Instead, explore with him what he really wants and what he has to do to get there. Then encourage him to put in the work so that one day his dream can come to fruition.
Dreams are not a bad thing. Dreams and reality are definitely not mutually exclusive. In fact, investing in dream can create a reality that is better than imagined. So don’t start dreaming and NEVER ask a child to give up on a dream. Instead make the investment that can realize your own dreams and instill in children the work ethic that will inspire them to do the same.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
Picture What You Want- A plan is the roadmap to reaching goal
We often hear that the way to financial freedom is through self-employment, creating your own income stream… When so many leaders say that, becoming a business owner is the way of becoming financially free it is certainly enticing for people to start their own business. Unfortunately many people are just jumping in blind.
It is true that many small businesses do not make it past the first few years, but there is even more truth in he fact that many of them thrive. One of the greatest differences between the businesses that thrive in contrast with the ones that don’t survive the first few years is the soundness of their plans. In this economic climate, jumping in blindly is not an option. As our economy is being rebuilt, new opportunities are presented every day. These opportunities also require new approaches and fresh ideas, which many new and budding business owners can provide. Regrettably, a good idea is not enough to assure success. Investors, from the individual purchasing goods and services for end user consumption, to the large corporations and government entities purchasing for redistribution, everyone is looking for the best bang for their buck.
Every buyer is thinking about Return On Investment so as a supplier you need to be able to answer that. That’s one reason that having a sound business plan is mandatory. Developing a strong business plan forces you to look beyond your great idea. In the process of developing a plan you will need to conduct assessments of everything from the value that your goods or services will bring to consumers, how your offerings match up with the needs of your target market, how your organization differs from the completion and much much more. The strong business plan will also provide the information that is needed to make these client presentations. When you have the opportunity to pitch your services to your dream client, much of the information needed to create an engaging numbers-based presentation will be in your business plan. So all that will be left to do is research your audience and match the presentation to their needs.
Knowing this makes it difficult for me to accept when people say they don’t have or need a business plan. When you don’t have a plan, the question raised is how serious you are about your business. If you jump in blindly, armed with only what you believe is a good idea, how are you to gauge success? Know that you are on target to reaching your goal? Recognize and adjust to changes in the environment?
The key to succeeding in any endeavor is the willingness to put forth every effort necessary to achieve one’s goal. If you don’t have a clear idea of that goal and the steps necessary to reach it you are at risk of always being “three feet from gold”. Just as a savvy architect would not start laying bricks before he has developed the blue prints for a structure, a savvy entrepreneur would not start a business without a business plan. The architect may know exactly what the completed structure should look like, but he still takes the time draw out every last detail, which allows him to plan for every incident and secure access to resources even before they become needed.
While many entrepreneurs report that they do not know how to develop a business plan, that is not enough of a reason to go blindly. In this era of economic rebuilding, there are many resources that are available to help individuals get their businesses started off right. Community organizations such as local Small Business Associations (SBA) and SBA partners such as SCORE, Center for Technology, Enterprise & Development provide free services which include assistance with developing business plans. It is a great shame that many more people are not taking advantage of their services which can substantially increase one’s chances of creating a thriving business.
Taking the time to develop a business plan is a one of the first signs of your commitment to your business. People who take the time to develop a business plan are less likely to back away at the first signs of trouble, because in addition to the investment they have made in the plan, they have gained knowledge which prepares them for dealing with rough patches. From the time we were children we’ve been taught the value of drawing a picture, designing an outline or creating roadmaps to help us visualize our goals, understand the tools we need and see the steps we must take. As adults with much bigger goals it is now even more important that we remember these small lessons learned. From Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel ceiling to the 3 year-old’s hand print drawing- They all started with an outline that allowed every last detail to be in its designated place.
<span style=”font-family: ‘Calligraph421 BT’; font-size: 14pt;”><span style=”font-family: ‘Calligraph421 BT’; font-size: 14pt;”> </span><span style=”font-family: ‘Calligraph421 BT’; font-size: 14pt;”> I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
<a href=”http://www.drjudic.com/”>www.DrJudiC.com</a></span
We often hear that the way to financial freedom is through self-employment, creating your own income stream… When so many leaders say that, becoming a business owner is the way of becoming financially free it is certainly enticing for people to start their own business. Unfortunately many people are just jumping in blind.
It is true that many small businesses do not make it past the first few years, but there is even more truth in he fact that many of them thrive. One of the greatest differences between the businesses that thrive in contrast with the ones that don’t survive the first few years is the soundness of their plans. In this economic climate, jumping in blindly is not an option. As our economy is being rebuilt, new opportunities are presented every day. These opportunities also require new approaches and fresh ideas, which many new and budding business owners can provide. Regrettably, a good idea is not enough to assure success. Investors, from the individual purchasing goods and services for end user consumption, to the large corporations and government entities purchasing for redistribution, everyone is looking for the best bang for their buck.
Every buyer is thinking about Return On Investment so as a supplier you need to be able to answer that. That’s one reason that having a sound business plan is mandatory. Developing a strong business plan forces you to look beyond your great idea. In the process of developing a plan you will need to conduct assessments of everything from the value that your goods or services will bring to consumers, how your offerings match up with the needs of your target market, how your organization differs from the completion and much much more. The strong business plan will also provide the information that is needed to make these client presentations. When you have the opportunity to pitch your services to your dream client, much of the information needed to create an engaging numbers-based presentation will be in your business plan. So all that will be left to do is research your audience and match the presentation to their needs.
Knowing this makes it difficult for me to accept when people say they don’t have or need a business plan. When you don’t have a plan, the question raised is how serious you are about your business. If you jump in blindly, armed with only what you believe is a good idea, how are you to gauge success? Know that you are on target to reaching your goal? Recognize and adjust to changes in the environment?
The key to succeeding in any endeavor is the willingness to put forth every effort necessary to achieve one’s goal. If you don’t have a clear idea of that goal and the steps necessary to reach it you are at risk of always being “three feet from gold”. Just as a savvy architect would not start laying bricks before he has developed the blue prints for a structure, a savvy entrepreneur would not start a business without a business plan. The architect may know exactly what the completed structure should look like, but he still takes the time draw out every last detail, which allows him to plan for every incident and secure access to resources even before they become needed.
While many entrepreneurs report that they do not know how to develop a business plan, that is not enough of a reason to go blindly. In this era of economic rebuilding, there are many resources that are available to help individuals get their businesses started off right. Community organizations such as local Small Business Associations (SBA) and SBA partners such as SCORE, Center for Technology, Enterprise & Development provide free services which include assistance with developing business plans. It is a great shame that many more people are not taking advantage of their services which can substantially increase one’s chances of creating a thriving business.
Taking the time to develop a business plan is a one of the first signs of your commitment to your business. People who take the time to develop a business plan are less likely to back away at the first signs of trouble, because in addition to the investment they have made in the plan, they have gained knowledge which prepares them for dealing with rough patches. From the time we were children we’ve been taught the value of drawing a picture, designing an outline or creating roadmaps to help us visualize our goals, understand the tools we need and see the steps we must take. As adults with much bigger goals it is now even more important that we remember these small lessons learned. From Michelangelo’s Sistine Chapel ceiling to the 3 year-old’s hand print drawing- They all started with an outline that allowed every last detail to be in its designated place.
<span style=”font-family: ‘Calligraph421 BT’; font-size: 14pt;”><span style=”font-family: ‘Calligraph421 BT’; font-size: 14pt;”> </span><span style=”font-family: ‘Calligraph421 BT’; font-size: 14pt;”> I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
