Say My Name & Make My Day
In this new world of IDK TTYL BRB LOL 🙂 we are at the point where to human connection seeming further away everyday. Birthday wishes now come in the form of TXT or social media wall posts. We say Happy Holidays via mass text messages. The personal touch is going out of style.
When I was younger I used to read people’s name tags to mess with them. I’d talk to the person like I know the. I’d say things like “Hey James long time no see” and watch them struggle to figure out where they know me from and recall my name. Like I said I was young.
A few years ago I started using this information positively. I decided that I would greet the person by name instead of the usual nod and smile people do (at least that I do). It turns out to have been a great experience. If I make eye contact with a person as I pass them I’ll say “Good morning Joe” or “Have a nice day Liz” instead of the normal “hi” that sometimes seem uncomfortably obligatory. Who can forget that most insincere “how you doing?” that people say to each other as they walk by. The other person often responds with the same question or says “Good thanks. And yourself?” but by that time the person is long gone since no one listens to the response.
I even took it to the stores and other businesses I frequent. When I walk by employees, I acknowledge them by name. If I’m stopping someone to ask a question, I greet them by name. After my purchase is rung up, I thank the cashier by name. The name is already plastered on their chest where it takes no effort to read. My interactions generally end with me saying “Thank you NAME. Have a great day!”
The reactions have been priceless. When someone is running into a store after a long day at works and someone takes the time to smile at them and say “good afternoon Ann” or “hello Kevin” you can see the reaction taking place. Yes there is the original confusion, but that is followed by a genuine smile. That’s when you know you made a difference in the moment for that person. That tired look in their eyes, or the dazed look of being in their own little world disappears for a quick second. You are not necessarily changing the person’s life, but you make a difference for them in that moment- and possibly the rest of the day.
We spend so much of our time being identified and identifying others by numbers – Social Security #, Student ID #, Employee ID #, account #, Unit #… Some times it’s just refreshing to get that human connection.
So the next time to can see someone’s name address them by name. Greet them by name. Thank them by name. It’s an experience that is likely to bring a smile to their face and most definitely yours.
 I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.DrJudiC.com
New Years Resolutions 106 – Self-Help Tools- Goodness Of Fit
If you look at the self-help product that are available, you will notice that they come in various formats. When you have to choose between books, CDs, DVDs, Workbooks and so many more, one could easily experience choice paralysis. All these products are advertised as the one that will help you, but you cannot realistically get all of them at the moment, so how do you choose? Easy… Just ask yourself a few questions to help you narrow it down
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Which of these media formats do I use most?
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Which of these is more likely to keep my attention for more than a week.
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Which of these media formats do I find most entertaining?
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Which of the media formats have I found most helpful in the past?
The program contained within the particular media may be great. It may even be the right type of program for you, but if it’s not the right format for you, then you are not likely to use it enough to discover the program it contains. For example: I like reading books that I can get through in one day. That would be a book between 150 and 200 pages. This is because when I first pick up the book my interest level is high and I will keep reading until morning as I get closer to the end. So If I look at a book and it has 300 pages, I look for the audio because I know I will listen to it while I drive. Having this information, I can make sure to get the right resources for me. A great DVD would be pointless, because I would not sit to watch. A book set that does not have audio would be just as bad because I would not read all the books with the consistency needed to get the benefits.
When selecting the media format for the self-help tools you will use, it is best to select media that you will use. If you are the type of person who will watch DVDs more then reading, then DVDs may be better tools for you. You have to make this assessment based on your habits and what you are more likely to enjoy and stay attentive to.
The program content are also very important. The mistake many people make is to select programs and try to tailor their lives around the program. This is actually the opposite of what needs to happen. You actually need to find programs that you can fit into your life and will help you develop and integrate new behaviors over time. Once the new positive behaviors become a part of your everyday routine then you are more likely to find other areas where you want change and proceed to implement these changes in the same way.
People who try to overhaul their lives to adapt to a program often find that they appear to be making progress for a short time, until the stress of a complete change becomes too much and they revert to their old behaviors. Just like people who quit smoking cold turkey may pick-up a cigarette the next time they are in a stressful situation; and people who drastically lose weight tend to gain back the weight with a few additional pounds; people who make these extensive life changes often revert. This without foundation there is not enough support for them to be able to address glitch.
I always say that I don’t have a sweet tooth, but I have 28 sweet teeth. When I felt that I was eating too many cookies at one point, I had to put a system in place to change that. Instead of cutting out cookies altogether, I added fruits to substitute for some of the cookies. I built a foundation, which allowed me to make the change over time instead of changing my life to avoid cookies. Let’s face it, even If I don’t buy sweets, I’m bound to come across them some times. If I know how to handle it, then I stand a better chance.
Anther part of evaluating the program content is looking at the time commitment and making sure that it fits within what you are looking to invest in it. A program that requires an hour of working about 5 days a week may not fit into the plans for a person who works full-time and has classes 4 nights per week but there are others that will. When selecting a self-help program, it is important to make sure that what the program will require are things that you are willing to do. Selecting a program where you will b picking and skipping through is very ineffective because the steps tend to be interrelated and build upon each other.
The time that you are prepared to invest makes a difference. There are many programs that advertise results in 21 days, 1 month, 3 months 6 months and so on. When selecting a program you also need to no which ones you are willing to work with. If you know that your attention span can only handle a month, it may not be to your benefit to start a program that requires a 3-month commitment before you see progress, because you are at a greater risk of giving up before you reach the results. There are however, programs where you see the results gradually. The programs work well for many people because even when they have not reached the goal, they are seeing progress which ill motivate you to continue working.
Whatever your New Years Resolution is… Receive my best wishes for success.
DrJudiC
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
www.DrJudiC.com
New Years Resolutions 105 – Selecting Self-Help Tools
I recently visited a few bookstores just to check out the self help sections, including a store that I started using nearly 15 years ago. I don’t know why, but I was amazed to see how that section has grown over the past decade. There are books on how to do anything and everything one can imagine. It was quite overwhelming to say the least, because each one of them was “the one”. That one that will give you results. But you have to wonder; how many of these ones can there be?
If every self-help book or CD out there was really “the one”, there would be no one with issues left in this country. This is not to say that these books and other products don’t work. They can work; but for the right people.  The sale of these self-help tools is the multimillion dollar industry it is because many people are chronic buyers even when they are not getting results. After they did not get the results from one product, they go out and buy the next big one. All these products do have their own benefits, but people make the mistake of approaching them “with a one size (or item) fits all” mentality. That is most untrue and an unrealistic expectation. We are unique; we have different needs and different levels of willingness. When you select tools to help you with any project you need to select tools not just because they are advertised as likely to help, but because you feel they can help you.
The secret to getting results from any product is… You HAVE to use it.  That is why it is so important that you select products that you will actually use.
When selecting these materials, just as you had to do when identifying your New Years Resolutions or other goals, you first need to know you and how you operate. You have to know how you work so that you know what will work for you. You have to understand the particular factors that motivate you as well as the things that discourage you. There is an abundance of tools out there that are intended to help people with many aspects of making changes, but not all of them will work for everyone. If you can figure out what types of things work for you, then you increase the likelihood that you will select the right product for yourself. When you look to do this, there are a few questions that you want to be able to answer
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What am I looking to accomplish?
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What will I need to do to accomplish this?
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Have I done anything like this in the past? If so what helped me?
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What is my normal method of operation? How do I learn or work best?
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What are my strengths that will help me reach this resolution or goal? And what weaknesses will I need to overcome to reach this resolution or goal?
By answering these five questions you will be able to get a clearer picture of what you will need to have in the tools that you will select to help you. While I recommend answering all these questions, if you can only answer a single question, make it question 4. Knowing the way you operate will help you in selecting the tools that will be most efficient for helping you. Along with having numerous programs, they are also available in many different formats. If you are not one who is likely to sit and read a thick book (which you can usually tell by the number of books you’re read in the last three to six months), then a book set is probably not the best item for you. You would also need to do the same assessment for CDs DVDs and other forms of media that these tools come in. No matter how great a resource is, there is absolutely no point to having it if you are not using it. Unless of-course you need another item to collect dust.
Once you’ve narrowed down the media format that you are more likely to benefit from then you will also have to consider the support level that you will need and the availability of that through the programs that you will select. In NYR 106 we will address the evaluation of program content and requirements.
Whatever your New Years Resolution is… Receive my best wishes for success.
DrJudiC
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
www.DrJudiC.com
New Years Resolutions 104 – Gather resources
So you’ve you made your New Years Resolution and identified the steps that you will need to take. Good! Now what do you need to make it happen? As you progress toward fulfilling your New Years resolutions, there will be thing that you need along the way to help you complete each step of the process.
While we are more than capable of succeeding independently, we can all benefit from a little support once in a while. One of the first tools that you should seek out is a strong support network. This network can include anyone who you know will be supportive of your goal and with whom you are willing to share your goal, progress and hurdles. These could be friends, family, people at the gym or at work that at work that you click with. The main component is that they are supportive of you in your goal. You want to surround yourself with the people who will notice and point out your progress. People who will say things like “I’m proud of you for making it to the gym 3 times this week” instead the ones who say “you only made it to the gym 3 times this week”. IN a way you are building your cheering section… Who wants cheer section with a negative attitude? Many people seek out the help pf professionals for this. As a Coach, I see how this has benefited my clients.
As you look at your lists (see NYR 103) you will notice that there are resources that you will need. If your resolution is regarding your professional life for example, you may need additional trainings. You may need certain things if you are starting a new workout regiment, or organization tools. No matter what these need are, taking the time to address them will likely make your journey easier. Any task is easier when you have the right tools.
Take some time to go through your lists and identify the resources that you will need to accomplish each item on the list. Once you’ve identified the need, then it’s time to determine how you will get these resources. These needs may be as simple as getting file folders or researching needed trainings online. The important thing is that you know what you need a make a plan to get them. As you set your plan, also start to set time lines; especially for the items for the items you are modifying and from your easy list that you are starting on right away. Again, get the easy things first to get you started. Set reasonable times to get the things that you need and stick with the schedule. Again, if you things happen and you miss a scheduled item, make it up right away to avoid loosing momentum.
If you’ve been to a bookstore, library or just watched television recently you know that there are a number of books, CDs, DVDs and other similar items to help people do everything. Many of these are very helpful, while others some not so much. Whether or not these items will work help you on your quest will depend on whether or not you select the right one tool for you. More information on selecting the right tools is available in NYR 105. Get out there and start building your team.
What ever you New Years Resolution is… Receive my best wishes for success.
DrJudiC
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
www.DrJudiC.com
New Years Resolutions 103 – Break it Down to Make it Easier
Ever heard the saying getting there is the hardest part? Some times, that can be so very true. The only problem is that if getting there is too hard, you may not make it. Most people make their New Years Resolutions fully intending to follow through. Eventually they stop trying because it gets to be too much of a change on their normal routine. That’s why I encourage small manageable steps that can lead to a big change.  I can guarantee you that if you stand up right now in take 10 small steps, you will have moved from where you started. The same is true of behavior modifications.  Smaller steps may take longer, but they impose less disruption on your life, so you are able to incorporate them into your routine with much less inconvenience. By the time you realize how much change has been made, these small steps have become a part of your new routine and you gain the benefits without much inconvenience.
Once you’ve determined what your New Years Resolution is and identified the benefits you stand to gain, it’s time to see how you will make it happen. The first step of that is breaking this big goal into smaller parts. Losing weight or getting healthier for example, requires numerous changes, including changes in diet and physical activity. If you break the goal down into steps, you can see more clearly what you will need to do. Take some time to break your New Years Resolution into smaller action steps. Break it down to the different behavior changes that you will need to make in order to accomplish the goal.
After you’ve taken time to carve out some of the details, it’s time to categorize your steps. Your first category will be for the things that you already do. These are steps that you’ve identified as necessary toward reaching your goal that are already part of your day. You will likely need to make some modifications in how you do them now, but the main thing is that they already have a place in your current routine. Include everything that you can think of. The more it seems you are already doing, the more attainable your goal will appear. These steps can include eating – for getting healthier, or checking the mail – for getting organized.
Once you have this list, then you can explore ways that these things can be modified to meet the needs of your goal. The modifications can include things like adding steamed vegetables to your meal and/or removing a fatty component. You can start slow (1 or 2 days per week) and have a timeline for increasing. Your steps toward getting organized may be to check the mail more frequently or sort through it in a timely manner.
As you go through the items on the list during the day, begin to do them with the modifications. Yes, that will require a little more thought at first, but eventually the changes will fit seamlessly into the process. If you forget one time, try to make it up as soon as you remember. When you wait until the next time, you risk falling out of sink. Try to apply as many of the modifications as you can. The ones that require more effort can be added to one of the other two lists.
Your next category is for easy steps. These are the ones that will not require much effort from you and will not be much of an inconvenience. These are things like putting a bottle of water on your desk at work so that you remember to drink water, or responding do emails when you read them so you don’t forget to respond. Anything that you see on your list that you know will be easy for you to do should go on your easy list. Many of the items that are on the list of things you already do can also be added to your easy list with the modifications that will be done.
Your easy list is your launch pad. After you start to apply to modifications to the items on the list of things you already do, it’s time to tackle some of the easier steps. The reason I always say start with easy first is the reward of accomplishment motivation that you get. The easy steps will take less time and effort, so they will get done or integrated into your routine more quickly. Each step that is completed will give you a sense of accomplishment that has the power to encourage you to do more. That thrill of “I did it” makes you want to do more. The more success you have, the more you will want. You can continue to build on that momentum as you progress to the next step.
You can always go through and have a medium difficulty and difficult list, but for me that’s over listing. Everything that did not make the first two lists can just default into your final list. This list is for the things that will take a little bit more time and effort from you. These are the things like going to the gym regularly or sitting down to file and shred papers. One of the reasons I leave these for last is that the momentum and excitement generated by the accomplishments from the items from the first two lists will provide motivation. Another reason is that the experience and the changes that you have already made can also make these other steps easier. The excitement of seeing your new healthier eating habits can motivate you to go to the gym while the extra energy from your healthy eating makes your workout easier. You will find that many of the steps on your first two lists will have a positive impact on your ability to go through this final one.
Whatever the goal is, you can certainly achieve it. Â You may need a little help, but that too can be found. Â In NYR 104 we will explore this. Â Even elephants are eaten one bite at a time.
Whatever you New Years Resolution is… Receive my best wishes for success.
DrJudiC
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
www.DrJudiC.com
New Years Resolutions 102 – Identify the benefits
Remember the New Years resolution to get organized that got lost in the chaos? Maybe that resolution to lose weight that’s buried under 5 new pounds? Getting organized and losing weight are two of the most common New Years resolutions. They are also two of the resolutions that are most often set aside. There are two major reasons that this happens.
The first is societal norms instead of personal desire. Our society tells people that thinner is better, but that’s not necessarily true. Many of us our perfectly comfortable with our bodies, and many others would be if they did not succumb to societal pressure. Of those who resolve to be more organized, many want to make that change to conform to societal standards of “organization. If the chaotic organization style is what has worked for you, then you may not be as motivated to change it.
When you look to make a New Years resolution you need to know how that resolution will benefit you and determine if this is a benefit that you are looking for. Getting organized does have a number of great benefits, but that’s not something that everyone else is looking for. If your system is working well, the benefits of a change may not be enough. Making a resolution is a fun little thing to do as part of a New Year tradition, but keeping one can also become a part of the tradition.
What’s in it for me?
You can ask that question when you are the one asking yourself to do things. If you invest the time and energy realize your New Years resolution
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What will you get for that?
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Is this something you want or need?
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How much do you want or need it?
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What are you willing to do to get it?
When you answer these questions, write the answers down and keep them somewhere that you can have access to them. If this is something that you will be working toward, keeping the goal in sight is very helpful.
Another reason that many people don’t follow through with their New Years resolutions is the functionality. When you make a change, the process and the end result both need to fit into your life. NYR 103 addresses this.
What ever you New Years Resolution is… Receive my best wishes for success.
DrJudiC
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
www.DrJudiC.com
Self esteem boost – Easy as 1-2-3
Even the best of us can wake up having a bad day. Confidence can be shaken even if for a brief moment. When that happens, how the day and the circumstance are handled is key. That is why it is imperative that individuals have tools to help them generate a little self-esteem boost to help through these days. Walking with your head held high is not just a saying. It really does help you boost confidence –IF– you’re willing to let it. When your head is up you are able to connect with others and allow them to bring you positive energy.
Try this exercise one day… When you wake up and just feel like you’re not feeling your best. Walk into your closet and find something you know is just cute and sexy – not skanky – sexy. That will vary depending what you have to do that day. If you’re going to work or a business meeting a suit with the right umph; out and about maybe a nice casual ensemble; out in the night life – Do you! Once you get that, then go to the mirror and take a moment to admire your master piece. When you feel that you have a developed enough appreciation for the hotty before you, step out into the world with that picture in your mind.
The Spark
Sometimes you may not be completely satisfied with how you look. Of-course I will say DO something about it. But for the moment until you have completed that goal, there is ALWAYS something that you can appreciate. Your smile; your eyes; your nose; teeth – That’s your spark! I personally believe that God made us all and we are beautiful because God took the time, but I know that not everyone sees it that way and not everyone even believe in God. If you are one who does, I would recommend that when you are having trouble finding that one spark of hotness look hard, because God couldn’t get you all that wrong.
Once you have found that spark step into the world, and believe that each individual you encounter will be directed to your spark. I you appreciate that spart in you, they more than likely will too. So when you move, look to draw people’s attention to your spark. The way you do that is by capturing attention. If when you walk you’re looking down, any attention toward you will be guided in that direction. If you want the attention elsewhere you first have to get it, and you get it with eye contact in a smile.
How it works
Eye contact draws a person to you. Once you get them in that split second, if you don’t project discomfort, they a get a chance to extend the look from your eyes to the rest of you; and that’s when they get to notice what ever part of you that you showcased.
Pick your Spark
Although you may have some great assets to work with, it’s always important to carefully pick what you showcase. I’ve heard many women complain about guys who go for their cleavage and have to be reminded that their face was a little bit higher. That’s a topic for a different time. What you want to do is showcase an area that people will be comfortable complementing you on. If you showcase your smile, men and women may compliment you (if you’re female that is… Sorry guys, only women will dare). If you showcase your cleavage, many may look, but most will not be comfortable saying “hey nice cleavage”. For many women, that comment/“compliment” would not be accepted as such.
Think of the last time someone complimented you. Regardless of the your relationship with the person or lack there of, it made an impact. Whether big or small, compliments make us feel good. When a man walks into a room, and someone says “hey- did you just get a hair cut? Looks good!” That man gets a little ego boost. If he gets enough of these throughout the day, by the time he gets home that night, he may be a different man than he was when he left that morning.
If you come out in need of a compliment you need to create opportunities for compliments to come. That means give people the opportunity. There certain things that are no-nos ie: butt, cleavage, legs that people will be less comfortable to compliment. If that’s your asset and you feel good showcasing that, then you can and let that make you feel good. It just requires more effort on your part because you don’t get as much of the positive feedback, and some of the feedback you do get may not be desirable. Still you you have to know that there is more to you than just those attributes. Just the same, these are some attributes more likely to draw a compliment, ie: smile, eyes, hair (sometimes a nicely trimmed facial hair in men). These are easy and innocent compliments that people will not be too uncomfortable to share.
Finally, paying a compliment is another way to draw compliments. You say something nice about someone and they say something nice about you. That method is not a particular favorite, because if feels less genuine. Some people even have difficulty returning a compliment, because it can feel forced. It may not always be a best bet, but it works. One way that it works is that by extending a compliment to someone, you engage them and give them an opportunity to return one. My favorite way however, is that looking for good in others can help you see good in you. When you focus your energy on finding positive things to compliment others on, you are harnessing positive energy that will radiate through you. You may not even notice it happening. but that feeling starts to happen and you start to feel that positive energy and start feeling better for no apparent reason. Later on when you sit back, then you may realize how making someone else feel better helped you feel better.
When you’re having a rough day, you may not be in the mood to give positive energy, but if you can find a way to attract it to you, you can then reflect it. Then you will be able to attract more positive energy and before you know it change your moods, feelings and perceptions. Isn’t it nice to remember how powerful you are?
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.drjudic.com
Best You Forward: Make the lasting impression that ends your unemployment
When we hear on the news how high the unemployment rate is it’s always troubling. We all wish there was something that we can do to help, and people in the job market are always seeking more tools to help them get an edge. DrJudiC Presents a series of teleseminars to help.
On Monday June 22, 2009 DrJudiC will present Best You Forward: Make the lasting impression that ends your unemployment. This event is free to fans of Living The Dream on Facebook and visitors of the Living The Dream website.
