The therapeutic relationship is a partnership between the therapist and the client(s). As in any partnership, there are roles that each partner must play in order for the partnership to work and results to be attained. While it is much easier to blame it on the therapist when “therapy did not work”, that is not always the reason. I will admit that not every therapist is great. There will be times when the therapist’s style does not work for a particular client. I’ve been known to let out a smile or two when people told me how they thought their therapist was supposed to be seeing a therapist instead of being one. I will express compassion when someone shares about a bad therapy experience. What many people don’t want to hear is that it is not always the therapist’s doing that kept them from benefiting form therapy. Very often, when therapy did not work it was because of something that the client did or failed to do. These five tips will help your prevent some of the more common hindrances to therapeutic success.
1. Set treatment goals with your therapist that you and your partner agree on
2. Show up with an open mind and forgiving heart
3. Follow through with homework and activities
4. Make counseling a priority not an after thought
5. Stick it through
We often hear how important communication is in a relationship, but the tip ends there. Very often people do want to be great communicators but are not sure where to begin. To strengthen communication in your relationship, remember to:
Set aside time to be together and time to talk
Talk about the good and the bad things
Learn and share each other’s cues
Listen to each other and respect your partner’s views
Forget who they are talking to- This is your spouse, you partner in this life journey, not an enemy. You have to take that in consideration even and especially when you are upset.
Make decision solo /with others then TELL them- If you fail to include your partner in discussions and decisions it’s not quite fair and may be a bit naïve to expect that they will simply buy in. Communication focuses on a discussion not dictation.
Quiet Forgiveness / Suffer in Silence- If you are going to let something go you can still tell your partner that there was something that bothered you. When you just let it go and don’t make them aware, you risk a repeat that you may not be as willing to let go.
Forget the difference between communicating & Arguing/ Fighting- Having a discussion and communicating are not the same as arguing or fighting. You have to be careful not to allow your fear of getting into fight to prevent you from communicating.
Failing to listen / HEAR your partner- Communication is more than hearing the sounds. You must listen to your partner and take in the messages they share. It is important to value and validate the things they share to encourage continued communication.
Meet DrJudiC
I am Dr. Judi Cinéas (DrJudiC) the founder of Living The Dream, an organization providing Counseling, Life Empowerment and Motivational Coaching in Palm Beach, FL. With many years of experience as a psychotherapist, I use my counseling skills to help…
