November 7, 2011 at 3:56 pm
These days we hear a lot about changing mindsets, shifting thoughts and the many other ways that it’s said. The conversation needs to continue beyond though and into action. I am a strong proponent of changing one’s thoughts in order to make life changes. I am a Cognitive Behavior Therapist through and through. The thing about Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT) is that while it starts with thoughts, its power is in the action. Changing one’s thoughts is supposed to help or at least ease the changes in behavior. It seems that there is a great deal of emphasis that is being placed on the cognitive part that is not matching with the behavior portion. It’s not just about thinking that “yes I can get the job” it’s having the mindset and following it up with actions. I have heard Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich as well as Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad quoted out of context too many times. While both books may speak about a mindset, the behavior aspect of these lessons should not be missed. You can’t just think a million dollars into your account without first taking the steps that can generate a million dollars. Even lottery winners had to at least get the ticket.
I still remember my professor repeating “stop that stinkin’ thinkin’” which he drilled into us. The reason this change is needed is that the way we think determines how we behave. If the thinking is positive, the behaviors that follow will be positive. That will in turn produce more positive feelings and thoughts. Of course, that means that the reverse is just as true. Negative thoughts nurture negative feelings and the resulting behavior is just as negative and continues the cycle. Thankfully, it only takes one change in the pattern to break the cycle.
Following through is one of the more difficult parts of this whole thing. When making changes toward positive outcomes, the change may be slower in coming, thereby making it more difficult to notice. When things are already negative, it is easier to notice that they have not changed because there is already so much of it covering up what positive changes may have occurred.
So how do you change this?
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Switch your mindset. Stop that stinkin’ thinkin’. Think more in terms of the outcome that you are looking for. While culturally we may be programmed to think of the many things that could go wrong, we have to change that to focusing on the many ways that things can go right. It’s not about taking pointless risks, like getting on a bike without a helmet because many accidents don’t result in head trauma. Rather it’s putting on your safety gear and then jumping on the bike because you’ve always wanted to ride, and knowing that when you follow certain safety precautions you can learn to ride and not get hurt, as opposed to not getting on the bike because people have had accidents. When you switch your mindset you are not necessarily oblivious to the fact that bad things can happen, you are just more focused to the positive things that you can make happen and taking the steps to bring them about. Instead of cowering in fear, you step out on faith.
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Analyze the behaviors that you have engaged in the past as well as the behaviors of those who have achieved the goal that you want to achieve. You’re not looking to copy; you just need to understand the difference. Then you can move on to an assessment of your own resources to determine what you have or will need in order to change the behaviors that have held you back in the past. Of course you already know that the next step will be finding ways to tackle them.
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Visualize yourself engaging in these behaviors. Whether it’s personal financial, professional or whatever- Visualize yourself taking the steps that are necessary and having the outcome you desire. If you can visualize yourself meeting your targets at work and getting the promotion, then your body feels safe engaging in the behavior and reaching for that outcome. Let’s face it, change is scary. If you can visualize making changes and getting the results, then you are giving yourself permission to go after them, because in your mind’s eye you have seen the positive outcome that can be reached. Once you’ve experience the feeling of being in your new home, it makes it easier to not whip out our credit card when you see those new shoes.
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Energize your actions. Don’t just go in with the hopes of it working. Go in knowing that this is what will work. If you’ve taken the time to do your research and preparations and discovered the tools that can work, then take ownership. Know that if you do your part certain things will happen as a result. Just as you know that if you poor water on paper it gets wet, know that when you study you will learn. If occupy your mind with hopping that you learn, then you are using mental energy that can be going towards your learning to entertain the potential of a negative outcome. You’re using learning space to store your fear of not learning. How much sense does that make? Take every step expecting it to yield the positive result that it should. If you are thinking that way, your body has way of taking the steps necessary to ensure success.
Remember, if it’s worth having, it’s probably not easy to get. That is one of the ways the value of our goals are increased. The more valuable your prize, the more difficulty you may encounter in getting it. This also means that the more difficulty you encounter on the journey to reaching your goal, the more rewarding the prize will be when you do get it.
I’m just saying though…
Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
