Living The Dream

Because You Only Live This Life Once

Self esteem boost – Easy as 1-2-3

Even the best of us can wake up having a bad day. Confidence can be shaken even if for a brief moment. When that happens, how the day and the circumstance are handled is key. That is why it is imperative that individuals have tools to help them generate a little self-esteem boost to help through these days. Walking with your head held high is not just a saying. It really does help you boost confidence –IF– you’re willing to let it. When your head is up you are able to connect with others and allow them to bring you positive energy.
Try this exercise one day… When you wake up and just feel like you’re not feeling your best. Walk into your closet and find something you know is just cute and sexy – not skanky – sexy. That will vary depending what you have to do that day. If you’re going to work or a business meeting a suit with the right umph; out and about maybe a nice casual ensemble; out in the night life – Do you! Once you get that, then go to the mirror and take a moment to admire your master piece. When you feel that you have a developed enough appreciation for the hotty before you, step out into the world with that picture in your mind.
The Spark
Sometimes you may not be completely satisfied with how you look. Of-course I will say DO something about it. But for the moment until you have completed that goal, there is ALWAYS something that you can appreciate. Your smile; your eyes; your nose; teeth – That’s your spark! I personally believe that God made us all and we are beautiful because God took the time, but I know that not everyone sees it that way and not everyone even believe in God. If you are one who does, I would recommend that when you are having trouble finding that one spark of hotness look hard, because God couldn’t get you all that wrong.
Once you have found that spark step into the world, and believe that each individual you encounter will be directed to your spark. I you appreciate that spart in you, they more than likely will too. So when you move, look to draw people’s attention to your spark. The way you do that is by capturing attention. If when you walk you’re looking down, any attention toward you will be guided in that direction. If you want the attention elsewhere you first have to get it, and you get it with eye contact in a smile.
How it works
Eye contact draws a person to you. Once you get them in that split second, if you don’t project discomfort, they a get a chance to extend the look from your eyes to the rest of you; and that’s when they get to notice what ever part of you that you showcased.
Pick your Spark
Although you may have some great assets to work with, it’s always important to carefully pick what you showcase. I’ve heard many women complain about guys who go for their cleavage and have to be reminded that their face was a little bit higher. That’s a topic for a different time. What you want to do is showcase an area that people will be comfortable complementing you on. If you showcase your smile, men and women may compliment you (if you’re female that is… Sorry guys, only women will dare). If you showcase your cleavage, many may look, but most will not be comfortable saying “hey nice cleavage”. For many women, that comment/“compliment” would not be accepted as such.
Think of the last time someone complimented you. Regardless of the your relationship with the person or lack there of, it made an impact. Whether big or small, compliments make us feel good. When a man walks into a room, and someone says “hey- did you just get a hair cut? Looks good!” That man gets a little ego boost. If he gets enough of these throughout the day, by the time he gets home that night, he may be a different man than he was when he left that morning.
If you come out in need of a compliment you need to create opportunities for compliments to come. That means give people the opportunity. There certain things that are no-nos ie: butt, cleavage, legs that people will be less comfortable to compliment. If that’s your asset and you feel good showcasing that, then you can and let that make you feel good. It just requires more effort on your part because you don’t get as much of the positive feedback, and some of the feedback you do get may not be desirable. Still you you have to know that there is more to you than just those attributes. Just the same, these are some attributes more likely to draw a compliment, ie: smile, eyes, hair (sometimes a nicely trimmed facial hair in men). These are easy and innocent compliments that people will not be too uncomfortable to share.
Finally, paying a compliment is another way to draw compliments. You say something nice about someone and they say something nice about you. That method is not a particular favorite, because if feels less genuine. Some people even have difficulty returning a compliment, because it can feel forced. It may not always be a best bet, but it works. One way that it works is that by extending a compliment to someone, you engage them and give them an opportunity to return one. My favorite way however, is that looking for good in others can help you see good in you. When you focus your energy on finding positive things to compliment others on, you are harnessing positive energy that will radiate through you. You may not even notice it happening. but that feeling starts to happen and you start to feel that positive energy and start feeling better for no apparent reason. Later on when you sit back, then you may realize how making someone else feel better helped you feel better.
When you’re having a rough day, you may not be in the mood to give positive energy, but if you can find a way to attract it to you, you can then reflect it. Then you will be able to attract more positive energy and before you know it change your moods, feelings and perceptions. Isn’t it nice to remember how powerful you are?

I’m just saying though…

Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.drjudic.com

Shout outs to the Real Men!!!

Yesterday we celebrated Father’s day. As the day approached I heard quite a few people talking about it. How they celebrate, who they celebrate and things like that. I also heard a few people talking about how some deadbeats have a tendency to surface around that time… trying to get some acknowledgement… AS IF!!! (Yes I know how ditzy that sounds, but that’s what came to mind).
Now that it’s Monday, in most cases the celebration of dad is over. The focus will now shift back to those who are not around. This does not just stay with the fathers. We do that all around. We focus the ones not doing the right things and not the ones standing tall and holding it down. When is CNN going to do a special on the dad who goes to work and comes home to his children and their mother every day? The brothers who stay in school and get those degrees? All the fellas who do the dang thing. I guess they’re too busy celebrating the guys dropping the ball.
It is believed that people would not watch it if they did a special on people doing the right thing. Wow… Do we really enjoy feeding on negativity that much? Personally, I’m a bit annoyed that they think we have nothing better to do than watch other’s pain. Then again, the rating folks probably can’t even tell when I turn off my TV. But my issue though is how do we give props to the men who do their manly things?
I know some great guys, sons, brothers, dads, husbands, friends, boyfriends. Just amazing men! I know that I’m not the only one who knows these guys. We all know a few, but for whatever reason they don’t get enough credit. Instead of making a big deal out of the guy who was up all night with his sick child, we focus on the one who was not there. Instead of the guy who rubs our tummy when it hurts, we hear of the one who doesn’t call.
As a child psychotherapist, I and many others I know in the field work with parents and teachers to get them to encourage positive behaviors. Make a big deal when a child does something great and not so much at their bad behaviors. This encourages the ones who are already doing well and motivates those who aren’t doing well to make changes because they want the attention. As much as society jokes about these ball dropping guys being like children who knows?
I’m not saying it’s gonna suddenly make every guy want to change or anything like that, but I want us to make a big deal of the good guys. Facebook, I challenge you to make a big deal of the good guys.
Some of my tops… My brothers – Didier, Ben, Bill, Yve… My cousins – Can’t name them all – Grandpa was a busy guy. DAS, Uncles, friends and other relatives… I am surrounded by great guys… You are too…
To all of you guys I dedicate Heather Headley’s He Is …
I’m shouting a few of them… add yours in the comments. Shout ‘em out on Faccebook with your comments!!!

I’m just saying though…

Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.drjudic.com

Best You Forward: Make the lasting impression that ends your unemployment

When we hear on the news how high the unemployment rate is it’s always troubling. We all wish there was something that we can do to help, and people in the job market are always seeking more tools to help them get an edge. DrJudiC Presents a series of teleseminars to help.
On Monday June 22, 2009 DrJudiC will present Best You Forward: Make the lasting impression that ends your unemployment. This event is free to fans of Living The Dream on Facebook and visitors of the Living The Dream website.

Phenomenal Women

I was at a career fair yesterday and met so many people. It was encouraging to see how many people were plugging away at trying to get that next gig. To these folks I must say Way To Go!!! There were many people there who had been through the mills with trying to make things happen. Today I’m shoutin’ out the Phenomenal Women who are out there holding things together. You are keeping the world moving even when there is a lot of pushing and pulling required of you. We are truly blessed even when things are not going the way we want them to.
My charge to each one of you today is to do something nice for someone else. Assert the power of your greatness. Make someone smile today. Give a compliment. If you know someone who is in the market for a job right now call them and give them some encouragement. It’s hard to be in the hunt in this market, but with the support of people around them, they can be positive another day. After that, say a special prayer of thanksgiving for yourself and others around you. If you are in the job market, I am proud of you for hanging in there. Even when you don’t know it I pray for you, and encourage you to continue doing the same.
Ladies, I dedicate your favorite India Arie song to you today… Play it out, because today it is your song.
I appreciate you all.

 

I’m just saying though…

Dream Big… Live Bigger…
DrJudiC
www.drjudic.com