We often hear about the emotional affair, but another one gradually making its way into the mix is the social media affair. It may not necessarily mean that you are going to connect offline to do more than chat, but getting too involved online can and often do cause real life relationship issues. There are times that the person involved may believe that they were not doing anything wrong, but if they only thought about it, they may have noticed that something was afoot. Before you fing your own relationship in trouble here are a few things to keep in mind.
Adding friends that you would not have offline or that your spouse would not agree with?
Most people on social media do have some friends that they would only connect with online. It’s when you start having that special friend that you know you would not keep offline or that your spouse can’t know you are chatting with that you start falling into that danger zone.
Sharing things that you would not share offline?
It never fails that someone sends an image that ends up where it wasn’t supposed to and then the problems start. Anything that is too private to reveal in person is too private for your message box. If you were going to share some “For Your Eyes Only” type images, they should only be with your spouse. Given the nature of privacy on the web just don’t do it at all.
Meeting up in private chats at odd hours?
When you start getting into private chats people that you are looking forward to a little bit too much, or chats that have to take place at certain odd hours of the night you really need to look at what you are doing.
Having discussions you wouldn’t want your spouse to know about? With someone you don’t want them to know about?
People get very comfortable and open behind the safety of a screen. That distance allows people to say things that they may not be able to say with another pair of eyes looking directly at them. If conversations are getting too personal – you may want to start pumping the brakes.
Are you having relationships that make you feel guilty, sneaky or different about your spouse?
If you are thinking or feeling guilty or like you may be doing something wrong, chances are—you are doing something. It may have started out innocently, but once you get to that point where you are wondering or questioning, you have probably crossed a line that could be damaging to your relationship.
Many of these behaviors could be innocent enough to be explained away, but what really becomes the issue is the perception of your spouse. You may say or even believe that your actions are above board, but if your spouse feels that there is an issue, then at that moment there is an issue even if there wasn’t one before. Be conscious of who and what matters to you and take care of them. Your actions online can and very often do have real life consequences.