Living The Dream

Because You Only Live This Life Once

Family Holidays- Five (5) Steps For Keeping Folks Of Your Business

Five (5) Tips For Transitioning To Holidays As A Couple

Five (5)Tips For Managing Your Day With ADD/ADHD

  1. Outline your day – try connecting with each task

  2. Create different stations

  3. Eliminate potential distractions

  4. Use energy deflectors / focuser

  5. Use breaks effectively & efficiently

Five (5) Tips For Finding Your Partner’s Love Language

Five (5) Signs You May Be Dealing With ADD/ADHD

1. Inability to pay attention/ Easily distracted -The lower the interest lower the focus
2. Restlessness/ fidgety –Easily frustrated/ short fuse
3. Multistarter
4. Very disorganized- lose things, missed deadlines
5. Frequently/ easily overwhelmed— Feels like all the balls are in the air

Five (5) Tips For Making Couples Therapy Work

The therapeutic relationship is a partnership between the therapist and the client(s). As in any partnership, there are roles that each partner must play in order for the partnership to work and results to be attained. While it is much easier to blame it on the therapist when “therapy did not work”, that is not always the reason. I will admit that not every therapist is great. There will be times when the therapist’s style does not work for a particular client. I’ve been known to let out a smile or two when people told me how they thought their therapist was supposed to be seeing a therapist instead of being one. I will express compassion when someone shares about a bad therapy experience. What many people don’t want to hear is that it is not always the therapist’s doing that kept them from benefiting form therapy. Very often, when therapy did not work it was because of something that the client did or failed to do. These five tips will help your prevent some of the more common hindrances to therapeutic success.

1. Set treatment goals with your therapist that you and your partner agree on
2. Show up with an open mind and forgiving heart
3. Follow through with homework and activities
4. Make counseling a priority not an after thought
5. Stick it through

Five (5) Tips For Managing Your Day With Symptoms of Depression

Five Tips For Building A Loving Partnership With Your Spouse

Five (5) Tips For Working With Colleagues With ADD/ADHD

Work is one of the places where symptoms of ADD/ADHD have some of their greatest impact. The individual who is working through the symptoms want very much to have that stable work day where all the work they do lead to results that show the depth of their efforts. Unfortunately ADD/ADHD take a great deal of work to manage, and that is not just on the part of the person who has. Just as the team’s work can be impacted by the person’s symptoms, there are some things that the team can do to help the individual. Whether you are a colleague, supervisor, or supervisee, you can make a world of difference. Start with these 5 tips:

  1. A written follow up is important
  2. Provide enough but not too much time
  3. Prioritize and spread your requests
  4. Stay focused and be consistent
  5. Respect their time and space.

I know the clip is long :) Recap starts at 6:53


Five (5) Tips For Helping A Spouse With ADD/ADHD

We are used to hearing about how to help children with ADD/ADHD, but the adults they later grow up to be get forgotten. While many children outgrow their ADD/ADHD, most of them don’t. They become adults with ADD/ADHD who go on to have regular jobs, relationships and families that can be impacted by their ADD/ADHD. While I look for a more recent source to cite, until then I will share that an NIMH funded National Comorbidity Survey Replication, estimated the prevalence of Adult ADHD at 4.4% in 2006.

I realize I am a bit long winded for ADHD, but you can catch the summary in starting at 9:22
1. Excellent organization system- With bins and color coding
2. Shared calendars
3. Plan and write things down
4. Gentle reminders but no nagging
5. Build in a time cushions- No more than 5 to 10 minutes

What To Do When You Recieve A Mental Health Diagnosed

Receiving any diagnosis is difficult. When you are unsure what to do that makes things even worse. Fortunately there are a few things you can do to begin setting your mind at ease and adjusting to your new normal.

Stop Fighting! Five (5) Tips For Reducing Relationship Tension

Five (5) Roles Your Support Network Play To Help With SAD / Winter Blues

When working through the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder, it helps to have a strong support network. There are many roles that the members of your network will fill such as

  1. Your Morning burst of Sunshine
  2. Your Check-in Buddy
  3. Your Fun Buddy
  4. Your Comfortable Company
  5. Your Motivator.

Before the Symptoms of SAD kick in this year, make sure you have those positions filled.


Five (5) Communication Dos For Couples

We often hear how important communication is in a relationship, but the tip ends there. Very often people do want to be great communicators but are not sure where to begin. To strengthen communication in your relationship, remember to:

  • Set aside time to be together and time to talk

  • Talk about the good and the bad things

  • Learn and share each other’s cues

  • Listen to each other and respect your partner’s views

  • Talk about things when they come up


Five (5) Steps For Preparing For The Winter Blues (Seasonal Affective Disorder, SAD)

As fall approaches and the leaves are changing many of us are enjoying the change in season, the beauty of autumn leaves and looking forward to sweater season. Unfortunately, for many others it’s reminder that their dreary season is approaching. If you suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (Winter Blues), being ready for the season is an important step to helping you conquer the season and the disorder.  Preparation helps you hold off the symptoms as long as you can, and if they breakthrough, preparation ensures you have the resources the address them.

These five steps can help you be better prepared:

  1. Declutter and refresh your home
  2. Get your winter wardrobe together
  3. Find/begin an exercise program- the more fun the better
  4. Make a social commitment calendar
  5. Get a your support network together


Five (5) Communication Don’ts Couples Should Avoid

  1. Forget who they are talking to- This is your spouse, you partner in this life journey, not an enemy. You have to take that in consideration even and especially when you are upset.

  2. Make decision solo /with others then TELL them- If you fail to include your partner in discussions and decisions it’s not quite fair and may be a bit naïve to expect that they will simply buy in. Communication focuses on a discussion not dictation.

  3. Quiet Forgiveness / Suffer in Silence- If you are going to let something go you can still tell your partner that there was something that bothered you. When you just let it go and don’t make them aware, you risk a repeat that you may not be as willing to let go.

  4. Forget the difference between communicating & Arguing/ Fighting- Having a discussion and communicating are not the same as arguing or fighting. You have to be careful not to allow your fear of getting into fight to prevent you from communicating.

  5. Failing to listen / HEAR your partner- Communication is more than hearing the sounds. You must listen to your partner and take in the messages they share. It is important to value and validate the things they share to encourage continued communication.

Staying Together- Five (5) Steps To Begin Healing After Infidelity

He/She Cheated Now What? Five (5) Steps To Take After Infidelity

Find out what the catalyst to infidelity was- Was there an unmet need or is the person not ready for a monogamous relationship?

Take time to process and experience your feelings and then express them- Don’t throw yourself into action and ignore what you are feeling.

Determine what it will take to make you feel safe and trusting in that relationship again.

Decide what you as a couple are prepared to do to repair your relationship.

Make a joint decision on the future of your relationship.

Rise & Grind! Five (5) Tips For Getting Out Of Bed In The Morning

Many of us struggle with the morning drag, but there are some things that you can do to help you beat it. Here are five of them.

  1. Give yourself reason to need to get up– Set alarms away from the bed or drink a little water at night. When your eyes open you need a reason to have to get out of that bed.

  2. Make your bed when your feet touch the floor– Start making the bed as you are getting up.

  3. Have a theme song and play it loud– It can even be one of you alarm. That song needs to start within a minute of your waking up and have it repeat. Don’t give yourself time to even think about the warmth of that bed.

  4. Let the day in– Let light into the room. Open blinds, open windows, open doors. Make your room look and feel like the day has begun.

  5. Start your morning routine immediately– Once you start moving don’t stop until you are done- Bathroom -> Breakfast -> Get dressed… Just keep on moving

Are You Having A Facebook Affair? Five (5) Signs You May Be Having A Social Media Affair

We often hear about the emotional affair, but another one gradually making its way into the mix is the social media affair. It may not necessarily mean that you are going to connect offline to do more than chat, but getting too involved online can and often do cause real life relationship issues. There are times that the person involved may believe that they were not doing anything wrong, but if they only thought about it, they may have noticed that something was afoot. Before you fing your own relationship in trouble here are a few things to keep in mind.

  1. Adding friends that you would not have offline or that your spouse would not agree with?

Most people on social media do have some friends that they would only connect with online. It’s when you start having that special friend that you know you would not keep offline or that your spouse can’t know you are chatting with that you start falling into that danger zone.

  1. Sharing things that you would not share offline?

It never fails that someone sends an image that ends up where it wasn’t supposed to and then the problems start. Anything that is too private to reveal in person is too private for your message box. If you were going to share some “For Your Eyes Only” type images, they should only be with your spouse. Given the nature of privacy on the web just don’t do it at all.

  1. Meeting up in private chats at odd hours?

When you start getting into private chats people that you are looking forward to a little bit too much, or chats that have to take place at certain odd hours of the night you really need to look at what you are doing.

  1. Having discussions you wouldn’t want your spouse to know about? With someone you don’t want them to know about?

People get very comfortable and open behind the safety of a screen.  That distance allows people to say things that they may not be able to say with another pair of eyes looking directly at them. If conversations are getting too personal – you may want to start pumping the brakes.

  1. Are you having relationships that make you feel guilty, sneaky or different about your spouse?

If you are thinking or feeling guilty or like you may be doing something wrong, chances are—you are doing something.  It may have started out innocently, but once you get to that point where you are wondering or questioning, you have probably crossed a line that could be damaging to your relationship.

Many of these behaviors could be innocent enough to be explained away, but what really becomes the issue is the perception of your spouse. You may say or even believe that your actions are above board, but if your spouse feels that there is an issue, then at that moment there is an issue even if there wasn’t one before.  Be conscious of who and what matters to you and take care of them. Your actions online can and very often do have real life consequences.